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So I accidentally came out to my parents

Started by BecM, March 20, 2014, 04:49:58 AM

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BecM

Hi,
So the other day I decided that I wanted to transition and I wrote so in a Journal that I'd started. This morning my Mum decided to read what was in that journal... Needless to say I think she got a surprise.. So her and my father had a talk during the day and when I got home from work they came into my study and told me that they knew.
They were very supportive and said that they love me no matter what and that they'd try to get a councillor for me so on so forth. Then they said that they just hoped I'd take the path of least resistance and make it easier on myself. I' not quite sure what to make of that and to be honest I'm not sure what to think of this whole situation. I didn't really want them to know yet and despite knowing what I want and really wanting it now, I'm not sure if I can do so at this stage of my life. I suppose I'm just looking for some help or advice on what to do. I want to start HRT more than anything and I want to become who I am but I don't know if I'm ready to show/tell everyone.
Anyway, thanks in advanced for anything :) Bec
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Tori



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Veronica M

Quote from: BecM on March 20, 2014, 04:49:58 AM
I'm not sure if I can do so at this stage of my life. I suppose I'm just looking for some help or advice on what to do. I want to start HRT more than anything and I want to become who I am but I don't know if I'm ready to show/tell everyone.

Hi Bec,
The first thing you might think about is Therapy, and I mean that in a good way. Don't try to deal with this alone. Also you are in the right place for sure. The girls here are very supportive and we are all at different stages of our transition. I myself stuffed my emotions for over forty years and looking back, that was extremely foolish of me as there is much regret of not coming out sooner. As I will assume you are still young, so just the fact that you have your parents support is a blessing in itself. There are a lot of us that were not that lucky. Take your time, this isn't a race. With that said however, make sure this is what you want. As you progress there are things that can't be undone hence why therapy is so important. Mainly be comfortable with yourself. You are the one that has got to live with you the rest of your life so keep that in mind.

Veronica
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kathyk

Talk to your parents about the counselor they want to help arrange.  Make sure they know you need a Gender Therapist and not just a counselor.  You can hold off transition for a short time, but I'll second what Veronica said, "... I stuffed my emotions for over forty years and looking back, that was extremely foolish ..".  Yup, I should have found a psychiatrist who understood gender way back then, but you can do it now. 

So, take things at your own speed and follow what fits you.  Be aware that your timeline needs to be very flexible, because you could find that it speeds way up as you become more aware of your own being.   :)





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EllieM


Like Kathy said, make sure it's a Gender Therapist. Just a thought here: For me, the path of least resistance was elusive because I was in denial, but eventually, with the help of a therapist who specialized in gender issues, I found that path leads to transition. My tuppence: work with a therapist, share with us here, find your way. You are among friends, Bec :)
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suzifrommd

Hmm. The path of least resistance.

When I was planning my transition, the path of least resistance was toward becoming a woman.

Anything else felt too horrible to consider.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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stephaniec

I'd also consider if you start therapy to get a lock for your journal
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Rachel

I second the locked journal.

As already started start with a gender therapist.

HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
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Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
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Arch

When I was a teenager, I was terrified that people would find out how much of a "pervert" I was, so I never wrote anything down. Well, once, and I ripped it up and threw it away immediately. It was the barest hint at my internal life and used my own personal coding. Nobody would have known what it meant, but I was so scared that I couldn't even call it what it was.

I had a locking diary. I still didn't trust my mother not to read my stuff if I wrote it down.
"The hammer is my penis." --Captain Hammer

"When all you have is a hammer . . ." --Anonymous carpenter
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emilyking

I spent 24 years dealing with feelings I didn't understand.  I am so glad I have a therapist.
She is really helping me, in more ways than she would understand.
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ath

I started writing in my journals in shorthand as a teen. More because of my nosy sister though lol. Then you don't even have to hide it. You can even hand it right to them and they can't understand it.
"When I think of all the worries people seem to find
And how they're in a hurry to complicate their mind
By chasing after money and dreams that can't come true
I'm glad that we are different, we've better things to do
May others plan their future, I'm busy lovin' you "
-The Grass Roots
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