The question you should really ask yourself is why do you want to transition, take hormones, develope female secondary sexual characteristics and live as a woman? You said you had no problems, or very little, living as a man. That's fine. However, like you said, you do get random obsessions, and you'll want to make sure it isn't something that you will regret. I have no idea how you look, but I know for myself, I will have a lot of trouble detransitioning if I chose too. Many of the changes are pretty intense, physically, and I have zero problems passing as a woman [I use the woman's room and no ever gives me a scond glance and even talk to me and I have long coversations] but when I need to pass as male for business purposes or other reasons, I get many weird looks and people stare. In fact, on person I became friends with swore up and down that there was no way I was a man and that I must be an FTM. A lot of this prolly has to do with my tiny frame size and height. Now, when you add a curvy shape that i can not hide to the mix, I have no choice but to continue. But that's what I want and what i have always wanted. Don't take this as a "my dyshoria is worse then yours" thing. But, there is a reason people say to not transtion if you don't have to.
First off, passing is great but people forget the flip side of that coin: I feel like I have been thrown into the deep end with no way to swim back and being female comes with a whole different set of issues and problems. But forgetting all that, how will you feel if everything goes as planned and in six months you pass 100 percent, your voice is fine, and everyone takes you as female. It changes you. There's no way it won't. Women are treated way diffeent than men. I've been told to not act as smart as I am as it comes off as snotty, whereas before people would be all like, wow, you're so smart, you always have the answers. Now, it's aren't we the cocky little bossy bitch. Leanr your place. I'm quite serious. I also assume you like women. And not men. Well, they will be hitting on you and some are quite unrelenting. The texting. the grabbing. The mind->-bleeped-<-ing. The whining. The touching. Men will do this. And if you're my size, there isn't a damn thing you can do about it. Don't get me started on the stares. And it's not cause I'm not passing. I know men. And I know that look.
Of course, there are a lot of perks. I get free cigarettes all the time. I can get on the train, cry that I lost my money, and get a free ride. People are super nice to me. Oh, and I like being treated this way. I'm very demure. The other day my ex told me if anybody ever so much as looked at me funny he'd knock them out. So, that's sweet to feel protected and safe. But of course, I have to do what he says and stroke his ego not to mention his nine and half inch penis. But luckily I lie penis. Love it. I used to kind of like women, at least masculine/andro ones. But not anymore. I can't see me ever being with anyone but a man. I feel like I need a man now.
I don't knwo what you should do. What I do know is that no matter what you think, you will change both physcially and mentally from HRT. You will become a different person. A woman. With all that entails. make sure it's what you want, 'cause there is a point of no return. Just some food for thought. The main thing is transition shouldn't just improve you life a little; it should change it completely for the better. My life is a bazillion times
Last thing: what happens if you don't pass? can you deal with that? I have no idea what that entails but I;ve hear people talk about killing themselves on this forum many times because their life has become hell. Anything you do in life should make it better, not worse. Good luck.
