Allies and their importance

[Jenny07]

We had a work event with my companies Pride group which I nervously attended tonight for the first time.
There were quite a few very senior people there who I would have never have guessed.
It's meant for GLBTI people and some of the most forgotten such A as in Allies.

While none of them were not T, pretty easy to say that, they all identified just how hard it was accepting who they are.
Many similar stories from almost everyone no matter what letter they identify with.
They all talked about the importance of having allies for support on your side which is so true.

You are all my allies here which has been so helpful, so thank you everyone.
That's everyone except Cindy.
You have a very special place.

How does everyone else feel about allies, do you have them and has it made it easier?

Another interesting thing they did was a video they showed interviewing people about their opinions on GLBT people.
Nearly all stated saying it was a personal choice to be the way we are and how wrong it is etc etc, but then when they were confronted with the next question there was stunned silence as penny finally dropped.

So when did you choose to be straight?

Quite a simple and innocent question but so powerful after their tirades just before.

Many struggled as they tried to process the question and then blurt out "I didn't choose, I was born this way" with a quizzical look on their face as they realise being GLBT is not an option. If it was only so easy to confuddle those who are full of hate and make them understand just how hard it is and choice had nothing to do with it might make it just that little bit easier.

J

[EmmaD]

Hi Jenny,

I don't have any allies - I don't count family who have little choice and who are being taxed a fair bit at the moment.  Everyone else who knows is either a paid professional or hates the idea.

Important?  I think so, but in my case, sadly as rare as friends.

I am a diversity champion at work. Little good that does as they are just getting their heads around gender equality and age issues let alone sexual orientation and gender identity.  I don't see any pride focus for a few years yet if at all. Transitioning at work will be entertaining to say the least, especially for a manager.  Something to look forward to.

[Cindy]

We had a work event with my companies Pride group which I nervously attended tonight for the first time.
There were quite a few very senior people there who I would have never have guessed.
It's meant for GLBTI people and some of the most forgotten such A as in Allies.

While none of them were not T, pretty easy to say that, they all identified just how hard it was accepting who they are.
Many similar stories from almost everyone no matter what letter they identify with.
They all talked about the importance of having allies for support on your side which is so true.

You are all my allies here which has been so helpful, so thank you everyone.
That's everyone except Cindy.
You have a very special place.

How does everyone else feel about allies, do you have them and has it made it easier?

Another interesting thing they did was a video they showed interviewing people about their opinions on GLBT people.
Nearly all stated saying it was a personal choice to be the way we are and how wrong it is etc etc, but then when they were confronted with the next question there was stunned silence as penny finally dropped.

So when did you choose to be straight?

Quite a simple and innocent question but so powerful after their tirades just before.

Many struggled as they tried to process the question and then blurt out "I didn't choose, I was born this way" with a quizzical look on their face as they realise being GLBT is not an option. If it was only so easy to confuddle those who are full of hate and make them understand just how hard it is and choice had nothing to do with it might make it just that little bit easier.

J

Warms up the whip

So glad you went Sis.

So when did you choose to be straight?

This says it all.

[suzifrommd]

I've been surprised at how hard it is finding allies. I would be honored if a trans person wanted me to be part of their transition, but most of my friends were either too busy or uncomfortable to be a major part of my life while I was transitioning.

[Eva Marie]

I am close to coming out at work, and I have really been working to form relationships with the women there. I  want them on my side when I finally jump the fence; I see their acceptance as one of the key things that needs to happen to make this process a success. We will be sharing a bathroom after all.

I have also made a lot of efforts to get to know senior management and to make sure that they know who I am by turning out good work. My company is run and managed by women and I hope that is helpful in the long run for me.

As far as the guys go? ehhh... who knows what they will think. Doesn't seem to be much that I can do there without coming off as weird.

Since I'm not out yet except to my church that's about all that I can think of to do right now.

[Danniella]

My allies have under their command 50,000 footmen, 10,000 Heavy Cavalry, 10 Catapults and.....wait what are we talking about?

...

OH THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT KIND OF ALLY!?... well that's less fun...how do I defeat the goblin horde with support and well wishes?

Erhem...yes. "Allies" means allot of different things to allot of different people.

If you are meaning "Allies" as in "Supportive Friends and Family", I've been VERY lucky so far, I have only had to remove a couple bad influences (One particular gent, upon hearing of my struggle and attempted suicide, decided THAT would be a good time to try sell me drugs...as a recovered drug addict myself, I kicked him to the curb faster than he could say "Please! Oh God No! PUT DOWN THE BAT! Ahhhh! Why did you break my legs! I need them! Please! I need to compete in a tap dance contest to save the children's youth centre!) >.>

If you are referring to the term "Allies" as in "Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual" Cis people? Well I have a very large number of my friends who are gay or bi, just something that happened over the years. They have all been very supportive in terms of some of the issues we share, like coming out to family, trying to figure out your internal turmoil etc, but on the other hand they have all been very understanding and recognise that even being gay etc is not as socially abhorrent as being trans. (Although I did have this one friend who came to me after I came out and said "Hey I'm trans too!" and then it turned out he just wanted to sleep with me >.>)

So all in, I guess I am okay with all forms of allies, but I haven't taken part in any organised group exercises or anything of the sorts...I'm lucky to have been surrounded by so many people that I have never quite felt the need yet. ^^

...

Now if you'll excuse me...I have a war to wage. SQUIRE! BRING ME MY PLATE MAIL! THE GOBLIN KING SHALL FALL BY MY HAND! OR I SHALL DINE IN HADES UPON THIS EVE!

[JulieBlair]

I am lucky to have some wonderful loving friends, and a brave protective daughter.  I live a mostly authentic life outside of work where I have to pretend to be a boy until May.  I am old (61), have only had the courage to admit to myself in terms that mattered who I am for the last year, and frankly don't care too much what problems that presents for anybody else.  Still, if I did not have people in my life who tell me I am worth while, beautiful and fun to be with I am not sure if I could deal with my own self talk which varies between celebration and despair.  My dearest wish is to just be a part of society, do my best, and be accepted for who I am regardless of the where and when.  This forum helps, but is not sufficient.  Therapy helps but is not sufficient.  Having people in my life who are willing to champion me - even at times when I feel the freak - is what puts me over the top, and able to laugh.
j

[dkl]

I have been very lucky in that area. I lost all my old friends, and sister is just barely tolerate, but several people at work have been allies. One girl especially who has sorta become my unofficial adopted daughter, she has been my greatest supporter. She will also be completely and brutally honest when she feels I need to hear something.