So, I have been transitioning to be more female. For me, the essence is not to choose female, but not to let my societal fear of seeming girly stop me from wearing what I want to wear and choosing what I like to do. Since my feminine side is newly accepted, I find I look and feel better in that form, and it matches my role I threw myself into for relationships without realizing it.
I have already had years and years and years of therapy for depression related to learning disabilities that were not accurately diagnosed until I made a few connections on my own years later. In general, therapy is a waste of my time and resources as I am pretty wise on what helps, and what hurts me, and I conquer my own issues myself. I am happily employed in a traveling job where seeing a doctor every 4 months is about all I can do.
I I am not really into coming out to my family until I have achieved a minimum baseline of appearance results or my doctor even for that matter (I have a very set list of achievable goals within 6 months. Mostly involving hair issues and having some of the hormones kick in enough to be able to pass without being the "man in the dress." I am not into the bullying and mental abuse the standards of care request of me being the "man in the dress and dressing in womens clothes with the 5'o clock shadow." To those who have already, I respect you greatly for your strength.
Is it necessary to sit in front of the shrink? I liken taking hormones to being safer than liposuction and I don't remember obese people needing to see a shrink. I am kinda thinking that if someone wants any cosmetic surgery is should require a shrink, or no cosmetic therapy should require a shrink. We are not idiots and will live with the choices we make. Any choice that makes us try harder to be able to be ourselves in it's entirety is not a bad one.
I guess to sum it up,
1) Do I need to do the "man in the dress," routine to be able to even ask my physician about starting me on monitored HRT? It would be rad to get a baseline reading and have the go ahead from my doc and maybe be able to get my ID and documents changed.
*Sorry if my wording is wrong or offensive to anyone. I use those words because I think the rules for standards of care are (or were,) offensive themselves and destructive to a person learning to be themselves in a world that is afraid to do so.
2) Would not wanting to finish 100% woman disqualify me? I don't think I want to pursue surgery. My doses of meds now have kept my sexual ability controlled, but functional. I don't want to do SRS to be able to have pleasure again. I am happy to give up my male side, but I don't want to be forced into accepting an entirely female side either. I like living in the balance actually or male based creative pursuit and individuality with female options to enhance ones appearance, (I think boy clothes are usually extremely bland and limited.) I like the act of being able to control my attractiveness and I have no clue what makes boys attractive. I tend to live healthier and take better care of myself as a girl. I never related to the concept of being born a woman in a mans body, because I think I align closer to third gender that is male and female and I like that sense of yin yang.
3) Know a good doc in the WA state area that accepts cash, is affordable, and will work with someone who makes decent money, but doesn't want to go onto obamacare (sliding fee scales usually don't work as I am a subcontractor and get paystubs once a year,) who will monitor my HRT prescribe my medications, but leave me the choice to do my own therapeutic technique that works with my demanding work schedule? A clinic that may have some of the same views as I do about these things.
