Trans men dating.

[culticexecution]

Recently, I met a girl on Okcupid. We talked through there for a bit, then transitioned to texting. Came to find out that we had a lot in common. She seemed like my ideal kind of girl. Now, I am a straight trans guy in other words, FTM. Before we actually met up, she did not know I was trans. We had only been talking for a few weeks. Things seemed to be going well, I felt like she had some kind of interest in me. One day, she invited me over to her house. So I went over and right away I told her straight out that I was trans. I would rather get it out of the way, before things went any further. I have thought about how I would tell girls that I "date" per se, or have an interest in, whether I should wait a little longer to tell them or tell them right from the beginning.

Well, I decided to take the approach of telling them early on. I told this girl and she was fine with it, but she seemed disappointed. Her slumping over and sighing was obvious enough to me that she was in fact disappointed. We talked for a bit at her house, seemed to be going well. She said she doesn't think she could date me, but being friends was fine. Basically, only time could tell. After that, I never heard from her again. I suppose she was not interested dating a trans guy.

Frankly, what she did was better for me. Now I know that she was not worth my time if she is acting that way. Though I cannot help but to wonder, if I had let her get to know me better and actually build an actual connection, would she had still be talking to me even after I told her I was trans?


What do you guys do when dating girls. do you tell them right away or wait it out? Any advice for me?

I do realize that it depends on the person, because some individuals appreciate that they are told from the beginning and do not mind at all. Of course, there are also the individuals who are immediately put off, like the girl I met.

[Jason C]

I'd tell them right away, but that's just me. I don't like the idea of potentially building something with someone whilst I'm keeping something potentially big from them. But I think not telling them until there's a connection makes sense if that's what's right for you. I'd probably just date someone who is open-minded or someone who knows about trans people and etc., because then the chances are they won't care.

[Brandon]

I never tell right away anymore because the only experiences I've had were bad ones when I did, Even though I'm young you should build a connection and show that person your just like any other guy, I changed what I did and waited a bit this time because I took interest in a girl who is 100% straight but turns out she doesn't even care because sex is not that important to her and I pass really well so she only sees a guy, But I am trying to get out of the Friendzone I can tell she's attracted to me though she just wants me to talk to her more.

[Natkat]

I try to to tell in the state where you know the person but haven't got too far emotionally.
so like in the begining of interest. If I tell people right away before I really know them they may
be scared away or only get the "im trans part" as there first hand impression, and I prefern they know im trans but also that they know me for something ells. 

[culticexecution]

I'd tell them right away, but that's just me. I don't like the idea of potentially building something with someone whilst I'm keeping something potentially big from them. But I think not telling them until there's a connection makes sense if that's what's right for you. I'd probably just date someone who is open-minded or someone who knows about trans people and etc., because then the chances are they won't care.

I have the same mentality, as far as telling them right away. That way it is over and done with, but at the same time I feel if I build some kind of connection not nothing too deep, but something I feel like they would feel differently. Because they have had a chance to get to know me and that would not matter to them, of course it depends on the person. At the same, I cannot bear having to carry that around, you know? Just constant questions would be running through my head like "what will she think of me?". I suppose I have a fear of rejection.

I never tell right away anymore because the only experiences I've had were bad ones when I did, Even though I'm young you should build a connection and show that person your just like any other guy, I changed what I did and waited a bit this time because I took interest in a girl who is 100% straight but turns out she doesn't even care because sex is not that important to her and I pass really well so she only sees a guy, But I am trying to get out of the Friendzone I can tell she's attracted to me though she just wants me to talk to her more.

Yeah, this was the first girl that has showed interest in me and we had somewhat of a date. I thought getting it out of the way would be better, but I thought it would not be a problem with her since we decided to be friends for now. Though that is what I was aiming for, seeing as I barely met the girl. It seems like she wanted to date me right a way. Seemed pretty desperate, I for one wanted to be friends. She made it known that she was fine with it, but then never talked to me again. Seemed pretty ->-bleeped-<-ty, as well as a bit trans-phobic. I was not asking her to date me right away, I wanted to get to know her become friends. As far as I know, nothing wrong with being friends with a trans person. I am a little hesitant to wait to build somewhat of a conncetion, even though I don't want the connection to go to far because it would be harder for her (whomever that would be) to accept in a way. If it is a connection that per se, is half way, then It would be somewhat easier to comprehend and accept.

I try to to tell in the state where you know the person but haven't got too far emotionally.
so like in the begining of interest. If I tell people right away before I really know them they may
be scared away or only get the "im trans part" as there first hand impression, and I prefern they know im trans but also that they know me for something ells. 

Yeah, like I was telling Brandon, I think having a connection is "half way" would probably be better. At the same time I feel like I would make it go to far. I have actually done that with one of my girlfriends, which was a long distant relationship. We together for almost a year or even a year. I was so afraid to tell her because obviously was afraid of losing her. I finally told her and she was okay with it, but felt deceived in a way. I don't want to do that again.