Anyone else gone through this? Feeling depressed/self conscious

[HumanBeing]

I'm definitely going to do that, can't have them calling me by my birth name! For a minute I felt like just working for a year, moving out, sorting myself and deferring my entry to uni and attend next year as 'me' but you know..the longer I leave it is the less likely I will actually end up going and I don't want to delay anything any further. They're going to need to 'just roll with it' I don't mind talking to open people but the ignorant ones I'm literally going to ignore. They need not know about my past etc. This isn't a freak show and I don't feel like explaining anything or validating anything to anyone. That's what would be really nice though just having that support, guess it makes a huge difference! Even now when I go out with mates, I'm not as uncomfortable because I have company so don't notice anything else around me.

[Chris R.]

That's how I feel right now. That's why I'm a shut-in now with no friends or whatsoever.   

[HumanBeing]

That's how I feel right now. That's why I'm a shut-in now with no friends or whatsoever.   

Hey man! You're not alone, don't worry. I've got work soon and my stomach is churning with the anxiety of it all. We're all here to support you I have very few friends now and once I come out who knows what will happen to that number. Best to have no friends than 'fake friends' who don't support you etc.

Feel free to PM if you ever want a chat or something, don't be a stranger! 

[Chris R.]

Hey man! You're not alone, don't worry. I've got work soon and my stomach is churning with the anxiety of it all. We're all here to support you I have very few friends now and once I come out who knows what will happen to that number. Best to have no friends than 'fake friends' who don't support you etc.

Feel free to PM if you ever want a chat or something, don't be a stranger! 

Thank you so much for your support! I agree, there's an italian saying 'Meglio soli che mal accompagnati', which means 'Better alone than with bad company'

Feel free to PM me as well.

[HumanBeing]

You are most welcome! That is so true, so very true! Thanks a lot

[Mal]

I planned on replying to this post before, then lost in among all the other posts.

I'm in a pretty similar situation, but at my last job, I requested to be called by my first and middle initials instead of my first name. You'll still get some idiots that either call you by your birth name or seem confused about whether you're male or female, but it did help cut down on some of the anxiety from hearing my very feminine name. I also used it as the preferred name on my applications and resumes. It's the best I can do at the moment since the state I currently live in won't let me change my name and gender marker unless I've had surgery.   

[HumanBeing]

I planned on replying to this post before, then lost in among all the other posts.

I'm in a pretty similar situation, but at my last job, I requested to be called by my first and middle initials instead of my first name. You'll still get some idiots that either call you by your birth name or seem confused about whether you're male or female, but it did help cut down on some of the anxiety from hearing my very feminine name. I also used it as the preferred name on my applications and resumes. It's the best I can do at the moment since the state I currently live in won't let me change my name and gender marker unless I've had surgery.

That's a good idea! Sucks to have a really feminine name. The more I hear it is the worse I feel. I will be requesting that they call me something else when I transfer soon. Anxiety isn't even the word, I'm sure we all die a little inside when that happens.
  It's crazy how they require surgery to change that...what if you didn't want or couldn't have surgery? What would they do? Flat out refuse you the name change and gender marker change? I guess someone would have to change state to do that if they needed to?

[Mal]

That's a good idea! Sucks to have a really feminine name. The more I hear it is the worse I feel. I will be requesting that they call me something else when I transfer soon. Anxiety isn't even the word, I'm sure we all die a little inside when that happens.
  It's crazy how they require surgery to change that...what if you didn't want or couldn't have surgery? What would they do? Flat out refuse you the name change and gender marker change? I guess someone would have to change state to do that if they needed to?

I couldn't think of a word that aptly described the way I feel every time I get called my birth name, so I just went with anxiety.

Yes, they will flat out refuse your request if you can't or won't have surgery, even if you're on hormone therapy. I live in the Bible-belt of the Southern U.S., so we have no rights. I plan to move to another state as soon as I can afford it though and will be choosing a state that isn't so closed minded.

[HumanBeing]

I couldn't think of a word that aptly described the way I feel every time I get called my birth name, so I just went with anxiety.

Yes, they will flat out refuse your request if you can't or won't have surgery, even if you're on hormone therapy. I live in the Bible-belt of the Southern U.S., so we have no rights. I plan to move to another state as soon as I can afford it though and will be choosing a state that isn't so closed minded.

Don't worry, I knew what you meant was just meaning that I couldn't find a word to describe it either! Wow, that's some pretty deep stuff to be fair. Hopefully you can move state soon! Yeah, exactly will definitely need to be with more open minded people.