Something occurred to me that kind of blew me a way. Today I realized that I've started to live full time as a female and didn't even think about it, it just sort of happened. I've been taking my time with transitioning and most of the time I dress androgynous and I figure that I would start dressing more feminine as I felt more comfortable with my features looking more feminine. I really didn't expect this to happen until this summer, but things have been going faster than I realized and fortunately I haven't been pushing it. If anything my spouse, friends and even clients have encouraged me to be more feminine.
Last week, my wife thought it was time for me to get a purse. So we picked one out at Target and also got a few tops and some more bras (about an A cup). Saturday night we picked up a few more tops and I was dressed more feminine and even at 6'7" I felt like I fit right in the woman's departing with no one looking or staring as we were holding up shirts to my chest to see how they match with my red hair. Note that with red hair (with henna) I must be careful as some colors just don't go well with it.
Last week we purchased a car (Fiat 500 Convertible) for my wife with both our names on the loan. Both times at the dealership I was dressed in Jeans and feminine top with no makeup. From the beginning they addressed me as she. Despite having to show my male ID and name, the dealership continued to address me as Sydney and she. They didn't blink an eye with me being transgender. (To be fair, it was in Brooklyn as I would not expect that in TN.) After we signed everything and they gave us the keys, the manager said "Congratulations on you car. Now you girls go enjoy your new ride." That just made my day.
Friday at my client's office (they know all about me), one the managers asked if a left a ring in the women's restroom (in an multi-tenant office building). (Turned out it was another woman's thumb ring in the same office.) Then it dawned on me that she thought I passed enough to use the women's bathroom. I just started using it and didn't have an issue. I still haven't in a mall or anything busy, but still this has given me encouragement. Later today we started talking about my voice and she thought it was more feminine than her own. This really blew me away and I know it's not perfect, but everyday it gets better. I've started using a purse this weekend and wearing all feminine clothing with the exception of jeans (it's hard to find jeans that fit my height, but I found some online at Torrid and Amazon.) Used to I would put my hair in a ponytail for guy/androgynous mode and down for girl mode. Now, according to my wife, I look just as feminine with it up or down. One thing I've learned about carrying a purse is that not having anything in your pockets helps to give a feminize look in the pants department even with men's jeans.
Tonight, on the drive back from my client's office it hit me that I've already started living full-time as a woman and it "just happened" without me realizing it. It just feels natural now, but I still have some things to learn with makeup. I'm still doing electrolysis and fortunately 98% of my facial hair that is left is white hair, but it is male thicker hair. However it's not too noticeable unless you are real close and even then not until the 2nd day of not shaving. So really it's only one day a week it really bothers me. One thing I've done is moved my Thursday appointment to 8am in the morning. This way it doesn't interrupt the middle of the day and I only have to deal with the maleness early in the morning. In a way it takes a day of uncomfortableness out each week. So I'm probably going to try some concealer for Wednesdays to reduce the uncomfortable times to just a few hours a week.
