Looking for a life-raft before another boat sinks.

[Emjay]

I'm sorry you have had such a rough time lately.  Being misgendered, especially repeatedly, SUCKS big time!  I'll echo what others have said in that I think your look is really great!  Really really great actually.  IDK what people's problem is...  weird... but ultimately it IS *their* problem.  I know when you're in the moment and it's happening it doesn't feel that way but it's true.

I'm glad that you're feeling better since then and had a positive experience at the Apple store.  Hopefully things will be looking up some for you now. 

Keep your head up girl, you're going to get past all of this!

[Just Shelly]

Emily I'm so sorry you are feeling so down about your transition

I think what you need to concentrate on things you can control a bit more. Your hair and body are fine....both are not manly....but also not over feminine either. The hair will take time and so will the body....trust me!!

Cloths and a little make up can go a long ways. It looks like your eyebrows are shaped nice and your complexion is great....your makeup looks good, if you have any on to begin with. If so it shouldn't be all that noticeable except your eye makeup.

This really only leaves the cloths. Unfortunately for many early in transition or even after...the same cloths cis women wear that enhance their curves may not look the best on our shapes. What you have on now is not at all bad but it also doesn't show or at least give the impression of curves. Color will also go a long way. You are lucky to have a wife that is supporting, you need to ask her what colors look best on you. Other women will also tell you this....even if you are not asking. They are being honest too. Women will also unconsciously tell you if something doesn't look good or a color doesn't look good on you. You will find this out!!

I was getting gendered female a good year and a half before I even came out, and I didn't look half as good as you. Sure my body size and hair did help, but other than that I was never wearing makeup or feminine clothing. It was an awkward time. Yet when I finally did come out and started dressing according to my gender, this is when I got the weird looks and the occasional misgendering. Most was because I was trying to still be under the radar and not be too girly. It seemed to work when I was presenting male but the minute I tried a similar look presenting female than I would get the looks. I really think its attitude more than anything. Before I was never expecting to be gendered female but after coming out I expected and needed too. I must of been walking around constantly wondering what they thought....and I'm sure it showed on my face.

Like I said before....I think trying to dress a little different can go along way!! One thing you could try is wearing higher waisted jeans....YES they are coming back in style (a bit) the thing these jeans will do for a body to help an MTF, is to give an appearance of a waist and hips. I still have a couple from my CD days years ago when they were more popular. I once put on a pair and thought wow holy cow do I have a shape now. But in truth I still love my low rise and yoga pants....and after almost 5 years of hrt I do have some curves to make them look good.

Please take care and don't be so hard on yourself! You have more going for you than you think!!

[Megan Joanne]

Like I said before....I think trying to dress a little different can go along way!! One thing you could try is wearing higher waisted jeans....YES they are coming back in style (a bit) the thing these jeans will do for a body to help an MTF, is to give an appearance of a waist and hips. I still have a couple from my CD days years ago when they were more popular. I once put on a pair and thought wow holy cow do I have a shape now. But in truth I still love my low rise and yoga pants....and after almost 5 years of hrt I do have some curves to make them look good.

That's what I told my mom when we were out shopping one time, that what I'd like are the high waisted jeans that they used to have long ago, like back in the 80s. She said, they're still around. I'm like, uh, where?, all I see here are low rise, the kind that shows your ass crack every time you squat or bend over. Seen too many girls' butt cracks in recent years, and girl or guy, somehow it just looks nasty to me showing that way. Sometimes they look good, low waisted jeans (not ass crack), but for someone with small hips and long torso like me, not always the best style, plus the constant having to keep pulling them up. I think I'm starting to ramble now, 'night.

[Just Shelly]

Yes I'm secretly hoping they do come back in style a bit more. I have seen quite a few young girls with the high rise shorts....I don't care for them much....but what they call "mom" jeans, can be a sexy look at times. I know the dress slacks I have are mostly high rise....I only wear them for interviews and such, but they do make my appearance more flattering....and I also seem to have legs then.

I don't mind the low rise jeans....especially the dark tones with studded designs on the back pockets.....and if there skinny jeans all the better!! But like you said...having to pull them up constantly and the ole crack showing isn't the greatest thing! The best pairs I have ever found that fit and look great, are at Old Navy.....there called Rockstar, and there super cheap. The only bad thing is that there are no designs or embellishments on the backside.

[Joanna Dark]

No, no, no. Please don't bring high waisted jeans (or mom jeans) back. No. What Emily should wear in the jeans department is what evry girl wears in the jeans department: skinny jeans. I live in skinny jeans and they look great. I can't imagine wearing anything else. And if they're skinny capris with holes in them and are purple, all the better.

As far as tops, go for form fitting ones. If you're not blessed in the boob department, God created Kleenex. I imagine less is more, I have never stuffed so I'm in the dark on this, but I do know that printed, form fitting tees or striped tops scream female and can't be mistaken.

Oh, and let's not forget eyeliner. Being misgendered? Cure it with eyeliner! I can't emphasize this enough. *see what I did there? Emphasize. hehe* Seriously, don't forget the eyeliner. I would also go with a nice light shade of pink for the lips, some blush (by FACESTUDIO) and volia, you will no longer be misgendered.

I'd say more but the BF becokns, sorry.

[Rachel]

Em, you are very pretty.  I think the short hair has an impact on overall overall presentation.

[Evelyn K]

Heya Emily,

I'm thinking 2 things. Growing that hair out long will go quite a ways to making you look like an italian guidette!  I assume you're italian. Check out what the italian gals are rocking these days. And freestyle music forever!

(If you're not italian apologies. )

The 2nd thing is beard shadow. It's still slightly visible which might be just enough to tip you over to the misgendering side. Also maybe grow out those upper sideburns long and have them pulled down along with the rest of your hair when it gets length also. As it is, it is a bit boyish looking. Long wispy feminine sideburns can really help frame your face and detract any harshness from your jaw line.

All of this can be part of your to-do multitasking list. While hormones soften you up further, you're letting your hair grow in tandem. Just give yourself a year of patience to let everything join up, ok darling? Your still in that awkward andro stage (like I am) and we need to let the magic work behind the scenes while keeping busy. Soon enough we're going to start approaching male fail. How about postponing being full time until like Sept? (just present andro)

You can join FalsePrincess and I in our full time Sept pact!

[Just Shelly]

No, no, no. Please don't bring high waisted jeans (or mom jeans) back. No. What Emily should wear in the jeans department is what evry girl wears in the jeans department: skinny jeans. I live in skinny jeans and they look great. I can't imagine wearing anything else. And if they're skinny capris with holes in them and are purple, all the better.

As far as tops, go for form fitting ones. If you're not blessed in the boob department, God created Kleenex. I imagine less is more, I have never stuffed so I'm in the dark on this, but I do know that printed, form fitting tees or striped tops scream female and can't be mistaken.

Oh, and let's not forget eyeliner. Being misgendered? Cure it with eyeliner! I can't emphasize this enough. *see what I did there? Emphasize. hehe* Seriously, don't forget the eyeliner. I would also go with a nice light shade of pink for the lips, some blush (by FACESTUDIO) and volia, you will no longer be misgendered.

I'd say more but the BF becokns, sorry.

Well most would agree with your view of the mom jeans....but if you saw some new styles you would know what I mean.

I have to disagree with your advice about the skinny jeans!! Skinny jeans look good on someone that is fairly skinny....or fairly curvy. Skinny jeans will only show she has very little curves, it may enhance her long legs which it looks like she has and if worn with a tunic top they may work. Skinny jeans don't work for many women, it can be even more difficult for trans women. I love skinny jeans and they are the staple of my wardrobe, early on in my transition they did not look as good as they do now....and even now certain cuts do not favor me.

We are no different than most women...there's things we can and cannot wear and things we shouldn't wear The difference is that there are more things we shouldn't wear.....but we just really want too   I know for myself I didn't look well with the shorter shorts (not Daisy Dukes either) the reason was because I didn't have enough fat on my thighs....now that my thighs have fattened up a little, they are at least snug around that area or not as loose. These type shorts aren't made to wear or appear like the Bermuda type.

The thing to do is constantly watch what other women your shape, skin color, hair color and age are wearing....but even that is not fool proof!! You really need an honest opinion from a girlfriend or like the OP has, a wife!!

and yes eyeliner not overdone will go a long ways!!!

[stephaniec]

I think your doing fine . It took me 8 months to get to where I  "pass" without question  with make up and where with out make up I get curious looks.

[LittleEmily24]

Update: went to karaoke last night. I straightened my hair and wore a little black spaghetti strap dress I have, the bottom part is very ruffly and it was slightly un-ironed so it added that "rocker girl" look to it <3 with black boots :3 and i noticed last night that I blended in like another girl, people were looking at me but i could tell they weren't looking at me in a funny way, just average looking, and no staring or gawking either!

I even met a new bartender (who doesn't know me at all) and was introduced to him by my friend as "this is Emily, her wife" (i went with my wife and she was introduced first) and i decided to have the "f*** it" attitude and just went in for the cheek kiss, and i got a natural response i got a kiss on the cheek without even a single strange look or awkward moment... i was treated like any other girl by a person who had never met me ^_^ Also; i shaved before going to the place because my hair is still kinda there after laser, and after shaving last night i pretty much rid my face of any of the excess hair, so now i have smooth everything (they're not kidding about that shedding phase lol your WHOLE face becomes smooth and shadow-less)... it was and is so good, that i BARELY have to wear concealer anymore (well, at least until it gets back in the growing phase, but then my 2nd laser treatment will take care of that )

As for the thing someone said about high waisted jeans.... well, i've been down that route lol never again xD I mean my wife looks GREAT in high waisted jeans because she has banging hips, but i am currently at the no-hips/white girl hips stage lol so high waisted anything is out of the question ~ I just wear skinny jeans or stretch flared jeans :3 (i love flared jeans and because i'm pretty tall and slim-ish, they look good on me i have friends who are short and a bit chunky who tell me that they hate that i can pull off flared jeans lol.... didn't know that you had to be tall to look good in them but w.e ) I dont often wear skinny jeans because i dont like how they stick to your ankles, it makes your legs look kinda weird... but thats just my opinion on how it looks on me ~ i honestly only have one pair of skinny jeans which i wear with knee high boots if I ever wear them (despite my wife's attempts to make me wear skinny jeans and sandals or slip-ons... i just hate how it shapes my body going upwards... makes me look like i have skeleton ankles.) I am quite aware of the idea that we should wear things that flatter our body I would never dare leave my house in something that doesn't give me a more feminine shape >.< I started dressing full time about 1 month and a half before starting HRT and i'll admit that at first i was a fashion disaster, but now the only thing I'm still trying to master is color contrasts, the rest ive pretty much gotten down xD (i'm surrounded by women in my family and my friends, before losing my friends to stupid high school drama, they taught me well hehehe and my wife is pretty much fine-tuning my fashion sense) I also mostly only wear jeans for work, when its the weekend or when i'm going out, i'll opt for a sun-dress or short shorts (if there is one thing I DO have that has always been feminine despite my dislike of them, its my legs. Even when i was in high school and totally oblivious to my trans status, girls would tell me that they envy my legs and my calves 0_o... being a guy at the time, i felt like that mattered little lol, but now I'm glad that i didnt let myself go too much that i lost my one seemingly feminine feature sans-hormones.)

Make-up wise ~ lets just say that for some reason, the moment i started learning about makeup from my wife and from the make-up assistants in Sephora and Mac, i've been soaring lol my mom and wife both told me "this is just proof that you were meant to be a girl... it took me 10 years to learn how to blend like you do" (not trying to brag just seriously feel like I got lucky with makeup because i picked it up like i had known it all my life ), the problem with my make-up choices is that i much prefer the natural-glow kind of look, so i dont put too much on my face so that i can just have that natural beauty look (and you can barely tell in pictures) but i've started dabbling in using more colorful choices for eye make up and lip color (i usually go with the light pinks or the nudes because they bring out my eyes more, seeing as I just started laser and its beginning to show results, im gonna start experimenting with more colors since before i wouldnt because it would bring out my shadow way too much) But eyeliner... eyeliner is a must lol. In fact ~ for anyone who is new to the whole eyeliner deal... putting eyeliner on the top makes a WORLD of difference ~ this whole time (before last weekend) I had only been putting on mascara and bottom eyeliner... then i decided to buy a deep metallic mauve eye liner pencil and started applying top-eye liner with a black watermark eyeliner and a cat-eye tail in the corners.... my god; once again the Sephora girls had opened me up to a whole new world of possibility. I want to buy a metallic aqua eyeliner pencil because when i went to the store i did the mauve top and aqua bottom and it was hella-hot and totally like super model eye 'pop' of color that wasn't overwhelming or "drag"-ish (not that i hate drag make-up, those girls really do know how to play with glitter and wild colors, but we all know the difference between drag show makeup and cisgirl makeup )... so yeah, when i'm done being broke im gonna invest in some color eyeliner pencils and another eye shadow pallet (btw i would recommend the Naked 2 and Naked 3 from Urban Decay, absolutely MARVELOUS color combinations in the natural pallets) ~ hopefully in the future when my face shapes up a little more, or my hair grows longer, i'll wanna experiment with greens and blues for eye-shadow (i like to get really creative with make-up when i'm home)... anyway, i'm rambling now because i can't shut up when it comes to make-up lol.

as for what Evelyn K said: No, i'm not italian lol I am of Austrian descent lol (which explains why I and my grandmother TOWER over everyone... well, not really.. i'm only 6'1") ~ for the sideburns... I use to have side-burns like you are suggesting and it actually affected my figure negatively >_< it made me look MORE like a guy =/ thats why I sort of shaved them and have them lasere'd off so that the upper parts can grow and i can just have them sort of hanging ~ my issue with THAT however, is that my hair is REALLY wavy/curly, so i'd look like a hasidic jew if i let my side-burns hang ~ i will say that I don't doubt for a SECOND that when my hairs grows to be about back-length, it will look gorgeous... its the waiting that really kills me -_-

As for not going FT... honestly i've been FT for 4-5 months now (even before HRT) because wearing male clothes or even presenting as andro really triggers my dysphoria... I remember when i started dressing, the dysphoria lifted off me by at least 55%... it was such a liberating experience that I decided i'd just tread on through all the male-figure in my body (which has reduced drastically with the size of my arms and chest decreasing), as fun as it sounds to be part of your pact xD hehehe going FT was one of those leaps I had to take ~ and i gotta admit that just taking that step alone raised my confidence level to extraordinary levels lol i just honestly wish sometimes that people flexed their courtesy muscle a little more frequently around here.

Having said ALL this wall of text in response to everyone's wonderful responses without making a huge wall of quoted text ~ I am willing to admit that after experiencing a good day yesterday... maybe for the last 2 weeks i was just "off my game" =P I mean... we all have off days right?... I guess cisgirls are just allowed more off-days because no matter how sloppy they behave, they'll always get gendered properly =p we gotta be top notch even on our off-days lest we risk the chance of being clocked (this is of course just a euphemism i dont pretend to say that anyone is obligated to behave in any way) I guess i just have to own myself and own who and what I am and just try to do away with people's stupidity -___- i just wish it didn't sometimes have such a harsh effect on me.

I'm really happy to see that I'm not crazy when I look in the mirror and think "wow... i look really pretty... still got a long way, but i'm off to a good start".. its just easy to forget when you are faced with a quick-fire barrage of misgendering in frequent repetition >_< it puts a huge smile on my face to see everyone's compliments and I appreciate the time everyone took to respond to another one of my frantic, silly, crazy hormone-raging posts <3 lol...

[Just Shelly]

That's great to hear that you had a good night!! You deserve that!

It sounds like you got the makeup thing down. Your skin looks flawless and it doesn't look like as it is all from makeup, good job there. The eyeliner thing is funny, I did the same thing for awhile....and then like you had that wow moment when I applied it on the upper!! This one thing alone can make a dramatic impact on appearance.

Have fun and keep experimenting. You are very lucky to have a supporting wife....not just for the obvious reasons but also for wardrobe advice!! This is a huge benefit for anyone in transition. I'm not only green red color blind, I also don't have anyone to ask about how things look. Well I do have my 13 year old boy ha ha this doesn't work the best!! Though I will say there are times he has told me I look nice! I really do appreciate this and believe he is being honest in his critique when he says it.

[TerriT]

Pink hair might look cute on you. I'd go for it. I mean, how often do you get to rock pink hair? Your girl Demi rocked that blue hair;)

Something to consider, maybe. I live in an area that is very image conscientious. Looks are everything. The girls are flawless and their mothers all look like their BFF's. It's loaded with plastic and judgement. IDK how Miami is, but I suspect it is a place that scrutinizes people a lot. Like LA or something. At least, that's my impression, I could be totally wrong. But whatever it is, I hate that feeling.

It sounds like you're doing better. Don't get so hung up on the negative experiences. Count on the times you're reacted to positively and think about what allowed you to experience that. Like your night at karaoke. Your attitude and emotions were in a different place and you weren't leaving the house expecting to come home angry. At least I hope you weren't. I've heard it here a thousand times, but it's true, passing isn't just about looks.

You're still learning. So am I. New tricks, new details, new life hacks on how to be a girl. My nieces got their first little girl makeup kits when they were 3 years old for crying out loud. You're not going to get it all overnight. IDK how anyone can. Just try not to pressure yourself so much. You're doing fine and you look great. Just breath once in a while.

[LittleEmily24]

Pink hair might look cute on you. I'd go for it. I mean, how often do you get to rock pink hair? Your girl Demi rocked that blue hair;)

Something to consider, maybe. I live in an area that is very image conscientious. Looks are everything. The girls are flawless and their mothers all look like their BFF's. It's loaded with plastic and judgement. IDK how Miami is, but I suspect it is a place that scrutinizes people a lot. Like LA or something. At least, that's my impression, I could be totally wrong. But whatever it is, I hate that feeling.

It sounds like you're doing better. Don't get so hung up on the negative experiences. Count on the times you're reacted to positively and think about what allowed you to experience that. Like your night at karaoke. Your attitude and emotions were in a different place and you weren't leaving the house expecting to come home angry. At least I hope you weren't. I've heard it here a thousand times, but it's true, passing isn't just about looks.

You're still learning. So am I. New tricks, new details, new life hacks on how to be a girl. My nieces got their first little girl makeup kits when they were 3 years old for crying out loud. You're not going to get it all overnight. IDK how anyone can. Just try not to pressure yourself so much. You're doing fine and you look great. Just breath once in a while.

lol oh yes, Miami is quite superficial. There is a place called Brickell... you don't go there unless you are dressed to impress... I have a friend who lives there and she tells me that she has to get all dressed up just to go grocery shopping lol you cant be caught dead in anything trashy looking in brickell. I mean, the suburbs arent as superficial, but the coast, the beach, brickell and fort laurderdale can be very superficial... thought fort lauderdale is friendlier because the party area is Wilton Manors (or surrounding areas) and its a total LGBT safety zone lol Transpeople and Gay/Lesbian people galore, lots of friendly people ~ but still equally as gorgeous and "dressed to impress", so sometimes its hard to compete >_< not to mention that 90% of the girls down here are TINY.... like 4-5 feet tall MAX... my wife is 5'3" and she would be considered "average" height for a girl down here, most of the other girls are either really short and cute, or slightly taller (average height lol) and REALLY skinny and slender.. the definition of beauty down here is a jaded and strange one -_- not to mention that hispanics can be very sexist... and that sexism is played in by hispanic women who allow themselves to believe the same thing... so its ALL about looks =/ and in the suburbs its a bunch of retired old people or miserable middle aged people, or worse: superficial rich kids who don't know the meaning of "struggle" to any degree... especially the town i spent most of my life living in (Doral), full of pretentious, ostentatious, rich and rude a-holes who have kids that are equally as rotten... honestly the only place i like talking to people down here is Miami beach along collins avenue or Ocean Drive (lots of tourists and people from all over) and fort lauderdale because of what i mentioned above -_- otherwise, Florida was actually declared the most miserable state by Forbes magazine and the most stressful state  by some other magazine who's name escapes me. If its not old fashioned sexist hispanics down south, its ignorant hate-group situated red necks up north... and your few gems and sanctuaries in between.

anyway lol didnt expect to go into that hahaha, but yes i feel much better and I do plan on dying my hair but only when it gets longer xD i follow Demi on facebook and her hair and makeup are mesmerizing <3

and no i left my house feeling quite good and confident, it turned out to be a night where i felt my prettiest and it DIDNT blow up in my face lol. I'm definitely gonna straighten my hair more often because it made a huge difference..

alternatively; i got a bit drunk and my inner drunky girl came out (they say drunken words are sober thoughts) and i started behaving in such an uncontrollable cute and girly drunken disposition lol which kinda made me feel better too because sometimes i am afraid that if I get drunk or high or something that it will bring out my dead male persona out of anxiety, but i was proven wrong lol I got all flirty and friendly instead of loud and vulgar lol

[Evelyn K]

As for not going FT... honestly i've been FT for 4-5 months now (even before HRT) because wearing male clothes or even presenting as andro really triggers my dysphoria... I remember when i started dressing, the dysphoria lifted off me by at least 55%... it was such a liberating experience that I decided i'd just tread on through all the male-figure in my body (which has reduced drastically with the size of my arms and chest decreasing), as fun as it sounds to be part of your pact xD hehehe going FT was one of those leaps I had to take ~ and i gotta admit that just taking that step alone raised my confidence level to extraordinary levels lol i just honestly wish sometimes that people flexed their courtesy muscle a little more frequently around here.

Having said ALL this wall of text in response to everyone's wonderful responses without making a huge wall of quoted text ~ I am willing to admit that after experiencing a good day yesterday... maybe for the last 2 weeks i was just "off my game" =P I mean... we all have off days right?... I guess cisgirls are just allowed more off-days because no matter how sloppy they behave, they'll always get gendered properly =p we gotta be top notch even on our off-days lest we risk the chance of being clocked (this is of course just a euphemism i dont pretend to say that anyone is obligated to behave in any way) I guess i just have to own myself and own who and what I am and just try to do away with people's stupidity -___- i just wish it didn't sometimes have such a harsh effect on me.

I'm really happy to see that I'm not crazy when I look in the mirror and think "wow... i look really pretty... still got a long way, but i'm off to a good start".. its just easy to forget when you are faced with a quick-fire barrage of misgendering in frequent repetition >_< it puts a huge smile on my face to see everyone's compliments and I appreciate the time everyone took to respond to another one of my frantic, silly, crazy hormone-raging posts <3 lol...

Yeah, if you insist on being full time while not 100% passing at this moment, then there's no sense in getting upset when you get misgendered here and there.

Just take it easy and be forgiving with yourself Em...

[LittleEmily24]

Yeah, if you insist on being full time while not 100% passing at this moment, then there's no sense in getting upset when you get misgendered here and there.

Just take it easy and be forgiving with yourself Em...

See, here is the problem: when i started living full time, i  still looked male, and i was still getting gendered properly more often than i was in the last 2 weeks, and i wasn't even on hormones at the time, so nothing about me looked female unless i lathered on the makeup or wore a very conservative outfit... but people would still gender me female SOMEHOW... now im actually ON hrt, looking naturally feminine (at least more feminine to say the least) and people were misgendering me left and right as if I had gone FTM or something... this post wasn't about being misgendered here and there without being fully transitioned... it was about having the rationality to look at myself in the mirror, not see anything that stood out as "obviously male" and having people misgender me in rapid succession...

So i may have been full time before passing 100%, but i was getting gendered correctly more often pre-HRt than i had been in the last 2 weeks or month (i lost count) which is why i felt the need to make this post.. I mean I try my hardest not to sound unrealistic when i say things.. i know that there WILL be misgendering from time to time.. but what i was receiving wasnt that... what i was getting made me feel like i was on a prank show... even my wife was thinking "are you f***ing kidding me?" whenever someone would misgender me so easily. As i've stated before; i know i have a long way to go, but I also have the eyes (and my wife's eyes) to see that there is no reason why people should be misgendering me like its "so easy to tell"... if I feel horribly misgendered NOW, i cant imagine decided to stop being full time, or being andro, and hearing it even MORE.... it would devastate me... it just seems like a step backwards for me... Sure, maybe i made a mistake by going full time so early.. but having been living full time for nearly half a year, if i were to suddenly stop... it would just further confuse everyone and make me feel worse.

Don't get me wrong, i understand what you are trying to say... but if it were just here and there, i wouldn't have felt so discouraged as I did... of course i get misgendered from time to time lol... Im not gonna make a post about it every time it happens... this time was just really impossible to grasp especially since i felt like i was getting more feminine in appearance, and getting misgendered more often... almost like the hormones were working in reverse but were making me "high" and causing me to see them in forward progression... it just felt surreal and was eating away at my confidence

[ashrock]

See, here is the problem: when i started living full time, i  still looked male, and i was still getting gendered properly more often than i was in the last 2 weeks, and i wasn't even on hormones at the time, so nothing about me looked female unless i lathered on the makeup or wore a very conservative outfit... but people would still gender me female SOMEHOW... now im actually ON hrt, looking naturally feminine (at least more feminine to say the least) and people were misgendering me left and right as if I had gone FTM or something...

Actually had a similar experience to this, just about the time I started hormones Id be gendered female about as often as male even wearing "guy" clothes.  Now that my face actually does look feminine to an extent, the gendering at all pretty much just stopped (and when it did happen it was male gendering) completely no matter what I wore, so after a while I just decided to present androgyny as that's how I get referenced anyway...  I know Im kinda giving in a bit. I also know the hormones are working and it wont hurt to give them a bit more time.  I just cant explain the period where I got gendered female earlier since I look, dress and talk much more female now and get gendered as nothing.

[Evelyn K]

Don't get me wrong, i understand what you are trying to say...

Actually, you might not be understanding what I'm saying hon. You're whining.

The real gist of the problem is, you are inviting CIS scrutiny because your girlie appearance isn't congruent with your currently passability. Things seem a little 'off'. This wouldn't happen if you present andro and wait for male fail to increase in frequency before wearing the more feminine stuff.

You need more time for the mones to do their thing, alright? Why the heck don't you think *I'm* full time yet either? I'm not the one putting myself through unnecessary torment.

[liz]

Maybe the clothes you wear makes you look manly or your voice? because on your picture you look kinda like a casual girl.

[Lady_Oracle]

I know it's frustrating Emily but 5 months just isn't enough time on hrt though. I wasn't being gendered correctly till about a year or so in and that was even with beard shadow. The changes I started to get in my face after a year were huge in comparison to when I was at the 6 month mark. Not saying you're not looking female now, it's just between 5 months vs 18 months on hrt, there are a lot of changes that happen.

Long hair helps a ton, having super short hair cuts won't help with passing. I've seen cis women misgendered at first just because of their super short hair, its just the way it is. In fact I was misgendered a lot at the start just because of how short my hair was back then and how I would put it up. If you're full time then worrying about people misgendering you is gonna drive you bananas, gotta go into don't give a f mode.

I guess cisgirls are just allowed more off-days because no matter how sloppy they behave, they'll always get gendered properly

Not true! A lot of women that don't dress/look fem get misgendered as well.

STAY STRONG EMILY!!!