Question about Origins of GD

[bobowhoa]

I recently read an article by Suzi here from and had a question. Unfortunately, the email noted there is no longer active. Would anyone be able to help answer my question? I really want to understand it. So far it has given me a lot of comfort and clarity in explaining my own feelings, and I feel like this is the missing piece I need to get the full understanding. Thanks.

http://www.reocities.com/suzijet/lateblooming.htm

My Message To Suzi:
I understood everything in your article and Sarah Fox's article except for this portion:

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Why the late blooming CD/TV/TS? My theory is simple - if a boy gets patterned a bit towards the female side of the spectrum he may be covered by the available testosterone (and maybe a lot of other factors like not fully understanding his "feelings" or the options) until sometime later in life. However, when the testosterone level drops then the female side will come popping into his life with all kinds of consequences. It may be a mid-life crisis that seeks to cover the issue with more sex (and maybe a new, younger partner.) Or it may be "feelings" that can no longer be contained in the closet. Drugs, alcohol, depression and a bunch of other problems have been reported by "T" people that I know, which were "cured" when they finally let their other personalities out of the closet. Some go all the way to transition while others are satisfied at something that is far short of a transition (like just being Suzi occasionally.) The response is a scale not a set of absolutes, as is the underlying condition.



I think the same thing may apply to people who transition young. If they "feel" like girls (or guys) but are in the wrong body, then as the hormone levels change they may quickly get to the point where they are so in the wrong body that it is either death or fix the problem. Talk with enough people who have transitioned and you hear this same story over and over again.

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The two paragraphs seem to contradict each other. Can you please explain? From your first paragraph you suggest that testosterone will help biological males be more accepting of their biological gender. However, under that logic for those who want to transition young, wouldn't you expect that the surge of testosterone for GD biological males during puberty help to alleviate their dysphoria? Instead, indeed you often hear of the teens being more suicidal due to them seeing their body further differentiate from their gender identity.

[helen2010]

Interesting hypothesis which is entirely at odds with my experience.   Increasing my T levels only amplified the dysphoria.

The only effective treatment for my dysphoria was low dose hrt.  It was immediately effective.

It would therefore appear that a biological male with a female gendered brain needs the hormone consistent with their brain structure ie E, otherwise their dysphoria remains.  The interesting question is why does dysphoria increase with age if T levels are also decreasing.  I suspect this is because the E level remains insufficient to address the dysphoria and the individual senses that time is running out and that their dysphoria can no longer be ignored.

Aisla

[VeronicaLynn]

I'm probably not the best person to answer this, but I wished I were a girl when I was young, and it went away as I became a teenager. That was largely because I fancied myself becoming an androgynous rock star, that did whatever they wanted, looked however they wanted, toured the world, and made millions doing it. At some point in my thirties, I realized this wasn't EVER going to happen, I didn't luck out and meet the right band, and there aren't nearly as many rock stars now as when I was a teenager.  I did party like I was a rock star throughout this period so it wasn't a complete waste...

I don't think, for me, it really has anything to do with hormones, just that new recording contacts are rarely issued to those in their late thirties or older...That just makes me an ordinary person that's androgynous which is far less acceptable in the normal world...

[kelly_aus]

My pre-hormone bloodwork showed my T level to be boringly normal for someone my age.. As an apparently 'later' transitioner, I think I can pick a hole or 2 in that theory..

[Rachel]

I do not know about the theory. I am a late transitioner but have had dysphoria all my life (since 5). I used exercise, eating disorder, alcohol, drugs (not hard stuff mostly), smoking, ( I had to give up alcohol and drugs and chose to stop smoking) work and hobbies (science experiments) and selling on-line to occupy my mind as much as possible during my life.

I had many defenses in place. I think the worst was how he was so so mean to her and made her feel ashamed of being her. He allowed her 10 minutes at night and in the morning. At some point in December 2013 I started to believe in compassion (my work friend became Buddhist) for others which I think lead to compassion for myself. I stopped believing in god but believe in being good.

I can remember when I finally broke the last barrier. I was being sued and I was waking across a street in downtown Philadelphia. I was giving a deposition and I had been in a high level of stress for 3 years over this issue. I can remember being so mean to her as I walked across the street. I said no more. Then it started to happen over the next month the feeling I had suppressed for so long were on  top and he battled back. There was a final battle and a victor, me.

[abbyFlame]

I definitely got diagnosed with low T about the time I was starting to feel dysphoria in a very palpable way but I suspect I've been somewhat low T all my life. Pretty much everyone I've ever talked to said there was no correlation. I suspect that the late tranistion is due more to being totally unable to connect to my real feelings and emotions.

[suzifrommd]

Can't say I agree with Suzi (though she picked a good name  ). I don't think think people who transition late in life are any less trans, or as she puts it "a little more to the female side".

My theory is that we have evolved the ability to ignore our wired gender into middle age in order to reproduce. This ability gets passed on as part of our genes to help any descendants who also are transgender.

[Umiko]

My theory is that my second X chromosome lost its leg due to a defective sperm cell. So honestly i fell like i should of had two X's but ended up with a odd looking Y. Sometimes when i think about it, i say "why daddy' why must i get the defective chromosome"

[Northern Jane]

Speaking as one who was sure she was female from a very young age, facing a male puberty was absolutely terrifying.  My puberty wasn't normal, which was a good thing. If it hadn't been for some female development and very little male development, I would have taken a swan dive off of a bridge before age 16. As it was, I got by to age 17 and HRT (estrogen) and estrogen was like a tranquilizer and helped me survive to SRS at 24.

Estrogen was good for me but testosterone was like poison!