Double Life Possible??

[alleigh]

Hi there, does anyone out there live a perfect double life  ?  I am so confused and conflicted because I don't want to spend all this time and money and get all my hopes up if it's not possible to just be able to spend a few hours dressing up and pulling my Act together then acutally Succeed out there but then the next day go back to work as a guy again.  Is anyone doing it  I had so much fun going out on Halloween is the only reason I am even thinking this maybe I should just go back to doing it at home but wait till next Halloween... the thought of going out and not passing though is not a good one  :-[

[tammygirluk]

I only get to dressup for a few hours a day and it can be hard at times when you want to be fem but you cant.

i wouldnt say i live a perfect double life but i kept it a secret for about 5 years untill my family found out.

iv been looking online in my local for events and places where crossdressers meet and iv found a few and i plan to go to them.

i know if i go to them then i can dressup as my femself without worrying what others will thin,.

hope this helps.

[Dennis]

I know there's a few people here that can shed some light on this.  Northern Jane?

Northern Jane lives a single life, not a double life. She's long term female full time.

Dennis

[Bdnewgirl]

I don't think anybody can say that they have a perfect double life. But some might come close.
I myself dress up only when I feel like it it, might be once a day, then I can go for weeks without dressing. I don't want to be a female full time or go out in public. Now what might be down the road, I don't know it might change. But I have come to terms knowing that this is not a sickness, or a disease It's just as it is. I am thankfull that I am the way I am. I got to meet all the great people at Susan's for one.
Do you want to be a part time crossdresser or do you want to dress full time
or go the whole nine yards and get SRS you and only you know what it is that will make you happy.
but to answer your question, I think yes you can have a great double life.

Hope this might help

Brandi

[Northern Jane]

Did I hear my name dropped? 

Actually, from about the age of 13 until 24, I DID lead a very active double life. Youth, hormones, and a fair complexion made it possible for me to live virtually undetected in two vastly different identities.

I don't think a "perfect" double life is possible though because there are some things that can not be changed back and forth in a short period of time and things that will "carry over" - like you HAVE to shape your eyebrows to look nice as a woman but, when playing the male role, shaped eyebrows are definately suspicious! One would need good Hollywood makeup to carry it off.

For me, I chose to emphasize the feminine role, which left my male presentation looking rather effeminate. Because there was overlap with some people and places (where I appeared in BOTH roles at different times), I chose to make my male and female presentations as different as possible, things like short blonde hair as a male and long dark hair as a female, very sloppy and unkempt as a male, neat clean and well-dressed as a female, reserved and gruff as a male, outgoing and bubbly as a female.

A few years ago I was going through some old photographs and came across a young woman I didn't recognize. I was puzzling over the picture of this vivacious girl with the long dark hair, slinky leather jumper, go-go boots (remember them?) and with the ear to ear smile and wondering who she was and why I had her picture. Then I recognized the background as my parents living room and rememberd the boots - that was ME! I would have passed me on the street and not even twigged!

A "perfect" double life? Not without your own Hollywood crew and a "neutral place" to make the switch! (A telephone booth only works for Superman!)

At the very best, there will always be part of one life seep through into the other and "tell-tale" things that sharp people will pick up on, something as small as a tiny bit of nail polish under a cuticle or the way move when you think no one is watching.

I think you could have one side "perfect" but not both.

JMHO YMMV

[Debtv]

Hi alliegh,

I live a double life, not sure it is perfect...but I'm happy. How I can do it....is I came out to everyone I know. So I'm totaly free to dress fulltime enfemme at home. If you visit me....better plan on seeing me in a dress! I don't 'talk' in a high voice or act any different when dressed enfemme...I want others to see me as an honest cd/tv.

I have other post here at susans where I talk about the "Price I have Paid" and "My TG Gift" where I talk about the pros and cons...check them out.


I do go out enfemme some, but I have to be carefull where I go...because I live in Redneckville, MO.

Good luck!
DebTV

[alleigh]

Thanks for all the thoughts!  Deb and Jane those are pretty inspiriational stories.  I will keep playing around with the idea.  I just want to be able to magically change back and forth  how do you brew polyjuice potion again?  I love the changing in the phonebooth idea!   

Maybe I can get to where I do well but only in the right outfits at night, etc... or just pass to people for a little while but anyone I am actually friends with be my full self, not just one side. 

Thank you for all the inspiriation!  I will let you know how it goes 

[alleigh]

Oh I almost forgot, check out page 143 in your making faces book!!  That is what I am hoping for 

[Terri-Gene]

the thought of going out and not passing though is not a good one 

The sad truth is, a few can pass totally undetected as far as appearance goes, but most have to many masculine edges on them and must rely purely on presentation alone to swing things thier way.

Dealing with not being visually passable is just a part of it all, but as you begin to believe in yourself, your presentation improves to the point where you will get by most people.

"passing" is much more then appearance, it has to do more with all the fine points in the way you move, the rythem and texture of your speach and how you relate to people.  You don't need to have a feminine voice, but you do need to learn how is is used by women as opposed to men.

Appearance is a relative thing, My Woman has always told me I was the most beautiful "Man" she ever met, but that I make a Butt ugly woman.  I get by better and better though with people who do not know who I am, It is simply something you learn to do as you gradually shake off the male overcoat.

There are no quick solutions for one who has lived long in male role.  You simply have to commit yourself, learn to ignore the stares and such at first and become comfortable with yourself and you will begin to notice more and more people calling you she or her, despite your appearance.  It is not an overnight process and all have to pay thier dues to get what they wan't.  It is just something you have to learn to let go of simply be yourself rather then continue to hold up the "Mask".  For most, it simply takes time, practice and experience.  I do not believe that those who attempt to rely on appearance are as successful as more masculin women who are more successful at projecting the true essance of themselves.  It is the essence of a woman that makes the woman, not her clothing, her hair or her features.  It all comes from within and if the essance of woman isn't there, all you have is a skin deep, or cosmeticly deep pretender.

Terri

[alleigh]

Thanks Terri, I am completely in agreement.  My Soul is female, as far as souls have a sex anyways.  I guess I would just feel a lot more confident if by a bare image things looked really good then if I could really just relax and be myself everything would work.. it would be so amazing!    Though it is not the same for example in World of Warcraft I played a female priest and was just... myself.  Everyone believed 100% and I felt so good and natural. So if I could really combine my true personality with a lot of practice and effort and pull it together that is my goal. 

[Terri-Gene]

It's just something you have to just do, or not do Alliegh.  So very few of us know for a positive fact we are going to make it through or not, despite  conviction and desire,   You just have to throw your ante into the pot and go for it.  some make it and most don't, all you can do is give it all you got and that depends on how much it means to you in the first place.

Terri