It seems like an eternity ago and like I left another person behind. In the spring of 2012, through an odd set of circumstances, I came to know I was transgender. For a number of months prior I had reached the very bottom of my misery - depressed, tired, angry and dead like a zombie. I've previously written extensively on my life story so I won't dwell on it here. Suffice it to say, my revelation and the prospect of transition gave me something more than exasperated hopelessness and set me on an extraordinary path of discovery.
On this day three years ago, after a month or so of in-depth research and lurking around the forums, I made the bold leap of joining Susan's Place, marking my first coming-out of many. It has helped completely change my life like a 180-degree turn. This forum was group therapy for me when I was too scared to talk to anyone face-to-face in my city. I learned to not be so scared or secretive, to be a lot more out-going and social. It helped me gain the courage to make every following step that would help me grow and improve. Without this place I honestly don't know how I would have ever made it anywhere in my transition and healed my mind and body.
Through Susan's I've come to know many people from all over the place, even though I had such a tough time coming out of my shell right at home. Some of you have even met me in person! Many members have come and gone in the time I've been here, for various reasons, hopefully for most because they successfully moved on. I stuck around not so much because my transition was still progressing, but because I enjoyed being here so much and because I now can help others that are following in my footsteps. All-round this has been very rewarding and I've felt a sense of belonging and community like never in my life.
The main reason I chose to mark this anniversary is that I've also nearly reached the end of my transition now. I just recently went full-time. I just braved FFS. I've come out to everyone of consequence. Most importantly I'm happy and at peace! I've never experienced a single instance of discrimination or even a single odd glance in public, even before I looked anywhere near as good as I do now. Everyone I came out to has been supportive. My family is with me 100% and I have a closer relationship with my mother.
Transition has involved many things for me, but the most important and surprising change was that I was the one who had to become comfortable with my situation much more so than any else did. It was a very long process of allowing my brain to re-wire and there was no way to rush it. I wish it could have been faster, I wish I would have known to start earlier, but given how everything fell into place so well I understand it was the best and only time for it. It couldn't have happened until I was truly ready.
Thanks, everyone, for being out there. Never underestimate how much your presence means even to people who never speak a word on this forum. There was a time when I never said a word - now I've almost reached 1000 posts. Even if you don't think you need Susan's, there's plenty more out there that do, so stick around if you can. It's always sad to see members go. As a community we're on the cusp of a major, positive societal shift. These may be exciting times, and I may have had an overwhelmingly positive experience myself, but even if we 'fix' society there will always be a great need to support the next round of transitioners. Let's stick together, stick around, and stick to it!
Sincerely,
~Violet
