Ladies, how important is it for you to be beautiful?

[jussmoi4nao]

(triggers)





Boy or girl, I'd kill myself if I had no chance of being pretty. Not even joking, I don't have anything else.... yeah it's horribly immature but if I'm being honest, that's how I feel.

And I'm with Abby here.. I never planned on getting old. I don't want to think about it, tbh I still live like I'm 12 and don't feel older either. Even when I was seriously 12 I knew i wanted to die young. I can't really imagine getting to that point and going, "oh, I was wrong all along, life is so beautiful ;-;" I mean I feel like dying pretty much as often as I feel like eating. And significantly more like dying than eating when I feel uggo, lol. It's just always somewhere close to my consciousness.

Yeah and like the thing is like, its even on here tbh. People are always so nice to me. I'm sure a ton hate me but by and large they're nice and always say things like I bring so much to the conversation and I'm like..wut lol? I don't post that much but look at my thumbs up to post ratio. Higher than a lotta peeps who post a ton. Why? Cuz I have a pic and its pretty. And THATS what I bring to the convo.

Everybody on here can look past my controversial B.S. and the stuff that I say that's just passive aggressive. And suure I don't mean to be mean spirited,but people are only willing to look at my intensions cuz I look pretty. Most of why I post is just whiny, complaining, downerish or even what would otherwise be called transphobic.

And it's like it's all that I can think about anymore.I spend my life looking in mirrors. Everybody in my life says I'm vapid and shallow. I slashed my leg apart pretty badly yesterday cuz my hair is at an awkward length (it was a lott of stuff but thats what really set me off) and it triggered me so badly. I couldn't stand my face and I literally wanted to take those stupid f-ing razors to it. And its so shallow and its stupid and I know but its all I f-ing care about anymore cuz it's all I f-ing have.

[Allyda]

I want to feel beautiful no matter how I appear in peoples eyes...

FP I've seen your photos and you are pretty whether you see it or not. Don't let anyone tell you any different.

[kelly_aus]

Depends on how we are defining beauty.. I'll never be conventionally beautiful from a physical perspective. On the plus side, I am fairly well constructed for a woman my age. I'm one of the odd ones who recognises internal beauty as well as external beauty.. And you only really need one of them to be a beautiful person to me. As for my own looks, I'm happy being average looking. Makes it so much easier to blend in to forest.

I never planned on getting old.. 30 was my limit. Live fast, die young and have a good looking corpse.. Somehow, it just didn't happen. Not for want of trying. I really shouldn't still be here. But here I am, 8 years past my Use By date and I seem to have learnt a little secret along the way. It's not that you get less beautiful as you age, it's just your target audience tends to shrink.

[Allyda]

Yeah and like the thing is like, its even on here tbh. People are always so nice to me. I'm sure a ton hate me but by and large they're nice and always say things like I bring so much to the conversation and I'm like..wut lol? I don't post that much but look at my thumbs up to post ratio. Higher than a lotta peeps who post a ton. Why? Cuz I have a pic and its pretty. And THATS what I bring to the convo.

Everybody on here can look past my controversial B.S. and the stuff that I say that's just passive aggressive. And suure I don't mean to be mean spirited,but people are only willing to look at my intensions cuz I look pretty. Most of why I post is just whiny, complaining, downerish or even what would otherwise be called transphobic.

And it's like it's all that I can think about anymore.I spend my life looking in mirrors. Everybody in my life says I'm vapid and shallow. I slashed my leg apart pretty badly yesterday cuz my hair is at an awkward length (it was a lott of stuff but thats what really set me off) and it triggered me so badly. I couldn't stand my face and I literally wanted to take those stupid f-ing razors to it. And its so shallow and its stupid and I know but its all I f-ing care about anymore cuz it's all I f-ing have.

This is very very sad you feel this way Abby. If that's really the way you feel then......-Ask yourself this, why in the world would anyone on here hate you? That's just silly. Your making assumptions based on literally nothing. And you know what they say about assumptions. Personally I could give a flying sh*t less if your pretty or look like Mr. Magoo. I won't reply to your post unless you've something interesting to say, is relevant to my situation, or could help our fellow sisters out in some way and that's the bottom line. So go ahead and wallow in self pity if you want. Or, here's an idea, if you think your Avatar pic is too pretty let's see one of you just after getting out of bed (clothed of course)-bed head and all!

[sad panda]

Yeah and like the thing is like, its even on here tbh. People are always so nice to me. I'm sure a ton hate me but by and large they're nice and always say things like I bring so much to the conversation and I'm like..wut lol? I don't post that much but look at my thumbs up to post ratio. Higher than a lotta peeps who post a ton. Why? Cuz I have a pic and its pretty. And THATS what I bring to the convo.

Everybody on here can look past my controversial B.S.and the stuff that I say that's just passive aggressive. And suure I don't mean to be mean spirited,but people are only willing to look at my intensions cuz I look pretty. Most of why I post is just whiny, complaining, downerish or even what would otherwise be called transphobic.

And it's like it's all that I can think about anymore.I spend my life looking in mirrors. Everybody in my life says I'm vapid and shallow. I slashed my leg apart pretty badly yesterday cuz my hair is at an awkward length (it was a lott of stuff but thats what really set me off) and it triggered me so badly. I couldn't stand my face and I literally wanted to take those stupid f-ing razors to it. And its so shallow and its stupid and I know but its all I f-ing care about anymore cuz it's all I f-ing have.

Hah yeah it's not even funny, fact is it matters to people, even people who make it their mission to treat people equally regardless of looks. They will always like the same personality better on a pretty girl (maybe for some people once they realize she doesn't bite, but still.)

And that's why it matters to me, cuz i know that wherever I go, whoever i talk to, it will never ever count against me to be pretty. It will always make people like me better, treat me better, love me more, again, the only exception being if their self worth is too low to think they deserve whatever from me or to believe I would care about them.

It's funny too, there's this stupid face people make when they meet you, you know, the "oh, you're pretty!" face. They're so obvious about it too.

And it's not even that I feel pretty, but people treat me like I am so I know they think it. It's the only thing I've ever had from anyone, cuz I remember what it is to be not pretty. To just be a gross blob to people. I never wanna feel that again. Ever. It's got to be the lowest feeling that exists.

That's just so sad i think I'm about to cry. But regardless, your worth much more than just being pretty. yea, I'm a total hypocrite cause Im obsessed with my looks, especially now I somehow look way more pretty than even a month ago. You're young and you write well have you ever thought about being a magazine editor? It's rewarding, you're around all women, it's fun, you get free makeup and clothes, I could go on and on. Think about it because your worth more than that. My BF is really hot, like model hot (6'1, 190, blah blah...pretty face but still rugged) and he got in a horrid car crash and lost the use of his lower left arm. He's lucky he isn't dead. But, even though this happened and he is incredibly self-conscious about it except around me, he struggles on.

I was a woman's mag editor for years and years and it was awesome and i think it's something you;d not only enjoy, but also be really good at it becuase it rewuires a certain amount of self awareness and awareness of peeps in general and you got that.

Mm thanks lol, but not my thing, I want to be a nurse or a dr but I would never trust myself with people's health so, sucks lol. I don't think i will ever have a job tbh.

[jussmoi4nao]

This is very very sad you feel this way Abby. If that's really the way you feel then......-Ask yourself this, why in the world would anyone on here hate you? That's just silly. Your making assumptions based on literally nothing. And you know what they say about assumptions. Personally I could give a flying sh*t less if your pretty or look like Mr. Magoo. I won't reply to your post unless you've something interesting to say, is relevant to my situation, or could help our fellow sisters out in some way and that's the bottom line. So go ahead and wallow in self pity if you want. Or, here's an idea, if you think your Avatar pic is too pretty let's see one of you just after getting out of bed (clothed of course)-bed head and all!

Some people on here hate me because of the things I've said. A couple have even said so in as many words. I don't try to be mean I'm just opinionated and I guess its sometimes combative and triggering. I'm not a mean person its just yeah. And when im not being opinionated im usually whining or I guess feeling sorry for myself like you said. But then by and large people are nice and I guess I think its cuz of that cuz that's how it is in real life, so many people just like me or pretend to like me cuz they think I'm pretty. I'm not saying anyone in particular either,so don't get offended

And then that's the thing its always made out to be self pity. Maybe a lot of it is but its almost like everyones like "ohh if I were pretty I wouldn't be complaining cuz life would be swell" so everybody acts like I bring everything on myself but its nott just that, you all don't know my life or my brain or my past, and I'm not saying you should care but don't go around acting like its all just me being a whiny baby cuz I'm pretty and my life should automatically be easy. a lot of things ARE easier cuz I'm pretty yeah, and that's exactly why all my self worth is centered around looks to the point f obsession and that's why I wana die young

I'm sorry if the things I say are off base or not accurate its just how I feel and I can't help it and I'm having a bad day and I know tomorrows go a be even worse cuz its my stupid f-ing birthday. So I wont post cuz I know I sound like a self absorbed arrogant whiny b-ch so I'm sorry about that and I'm sorry for putting words in peoples mouths

EDIT:

Hah yeah it's not even funny, fact is it matters to people, even people who make it their mission to treat people equally regardless of looks. They will always like the same personality better on a pretty girl (maybe for some people once they realize she doesn't bite, but still.)

And that's why it matters to me, cuz i know that wherever I go, whoever i talk to, it will never ever count against me to be pretty. It will always make people like me better, treat me better, love me more, again, the only exception being if their self worth is too low to think they deserve whatever from me or to believe I would care about them.

It's funny too, there's this stupid face people make when they meet you, you know, the "oh, you're pretty!" face. They're so obvious about it too.

And it's not even that I feel pretty, but people treat me like I am so I know they think it. It's the only thing I've ever had from anyone, cuz I remember what it is to be not pretty. To just be a gross blob to people. I never wanna feel that again. Ever. It's got to be the lowest feeling that exists.

Exactly, like this, exactly. When I wasn't pretty I was dead to the world. Life was horrible. Idont even know that person. Everything was so horrible it was like I wasn't even alive to people or even to myself.

And yeah, I've turned into such an arrogant b-ch too and I hate myself for it. I hate reading what I'm writing right now

[V M]

No-one here hates you

Have you considered that maybe some people here care about you and are trying to help you?

You are a young and attractive individual, possibly actively pursuing possibilities (Modeling) that would make good use of your attributes would be better time spent rather than raising a stink on a support site

Just a thought

[sad panda]

And yeah, I've turned into such an arrogant b-tch too and I hate myself for it. I hate reading what I'm writing right now

I dunno. Being pretty is basically an opt in thing for most girls anyway, feminine looks are more generic than unique. If you sell your soul for it anyway at least you should have some claim to your experience...

I'm sure they proved it's all true anyway. Though it still surprises me every time how little people actually care who you are if you have the right face. I always feel like I'm doing something wrong and leaving bad impressions but in reality people always have a surprisingly positive impression of me. And it's definitely not cuz of my math skillz or something, lol.

And I absolutely know that people treat me better, are more lenient, try to agree with me more and give me more attention here if I post a pic or esp if I have one as my avatar, the difference is incredible. But I'm not blaming anyone for that or anything, it's just how people work I guess.

[jussmoi4nao]

I honestly just think its a product of how objectified transwomen are, so much so that it internalizes. A transgirls success is measured by how pretty she is and I'm not blaming people on here for internalizing that cuz its just natural. So cuz I'm pretty people on here are a bit nicer cuz pretty subconsciously equals success. And if a transgirls pretty it somehow validates others' experiences. Its more to do with transphobia and the effect it has but I don't judge.

Or maybe its just me projecting my real world experiences on to people on here. I guess maybe I just hate my personality so much I can't see why anyone here would "care about me" for more than that cuz why? I see no reason

[Sincerely Tegan]

Yeah, being pretty is important, but as has been stated, we should remain realistic.

I never considered transition in the past as a viable option because I didn't feel that I could be pretty enough. My height was a big factor-I was too tall.

These days, that physicality matters less to me. I now kind of relish the idea of being a tall woman- it feels empowering to me in a way my height never was as a man. I mean, I could be the woman who doesn't need help to reach the top shelf!

I've been a relatively-handsome guy and it hasn't done much to feed my soul, so I'll take what I can get at this point if I transition. I probably won't be conventionally beautiful. I'll most likely need to experiment a lot before I find a look that works for me, and even then I won't be signing any modeling contracts. But if I feel pretty, then that will be huge for me. And I think feeling pretty is simply liking what you see in the mirror. Feeling pretty is important. Looking pretty? That's too subjective.

I don't need to be a stunner, nor do I expect to be. I'm a tall, geeky dude, and I'll be a tall, geeky chick. It's possible that I might look a little off, but hopefully I can look cis, as that part is pretty important to me.  I'll bring my personality, my sense of humor, and my unique sense of style to the table, and that ought to work things in my favor. I'll be a female version of my current self, and at this point I'm okay with that since I'm finally okay with me; it's just the gender that's an issue.

So, is it important to be pretty? Maybe. Is it important to feel pretty? Absolutely. Is it important to be happy with yourself? More than anything.

Sweet dreams, all!
Cheers,
Teg

[V M]

I honestly just think its a product of how objectified transwomen are, so much so that it internalizes. A transgirls success is measured by how pretty she is and I'm not blaming people on here for internalizing that cuz its just natural. So cuz I'm pretty people on here are a bit nicer cuz pretty subconsciously equals success. And if a transgirls pretty it somehow validates others' experiences. Its more to do with transphobia and the effect it has but I don't judge.

Or maybe its just me projecting my real world experiences on to people on here. I guess maybe I just hate my personality so much I can't see why anyone here would "care about me" for more than that cuz why? I see no reason

Naw, couldn't care less if you looked like a stick in the mud, just trying to help you make good use of your attributes

[Lady_Oracle]

I honestly just think its a product of how objectified transwomen are, so much so that it internalizes. A transgirls success is measured by how pretty she is and I'm not blaming people on here for internalizing that cuz its just natural. So cuz I'm pretty people on here are a bit nicer cuz pretty subconsciously equals success. And if a transgirls pretty it somehow validates others' experiences. Its more to do with transphobia and the effect it has but I don't judge.

Or maybe its just me projecting my real world experiences on to people on here. I guess maybe I just hate my personality so much I can't see why anyone here would "care about me" for more than that cuz why? I see no reason

Abby everything you've said on this page I agree with. It's pretty much why I've never posted a pic and probably won't ever actually.

Regarding the thread topic. I say yes because "pretty" people are always treated better in our society. As messed up as that is, it's the sad truth. However at the same time I think taking care of ourselves, staying healthy equates to a personal natural beauty. So if you feel beautiful then you'll more than likely project that image even if you don't fit society's standard of beauty.

[Sincerely Tegan]

I honestly just think its a product of how objectified transwomen are, so much so that it internalizes. A transgirls success is measured by how pretty she is and I'm not blaming people on here for internalizing that cuz its just natural. So cuz I'm pretty people on here are a bit nicer cuz pretty subconsciously equals success. And if a transgirls pretty it somehow validates others' experiences. Its more to do with transphobia and the effect it has but I don't judge.

Or maybe its just me projecting my real world experiences on to people on here. I guess maybe I just hate my personality so much I can't see why anyone here would "care about me" for more than that cuz why? I see no reason

Abby,
I won't lie-you are pretty. You're a little cutie, and I wish I had your looks. Your prettiness makes me want to like you, which is a definite plus for you. However, if you proved yourself to be a nasty little thing, then I would look past your looks quite easily. If people are still supporting you, then it's probably because you haven't been quite the nasty thing you believe yourself to be. Yes, you are cute. However, that doesn't mean that people only like you because you're cute. Clearly they see more than that.

I want you to consider something, hon. The people here, regardless of age, have all been through quite a lot of soul-searching and character-building to reach this point in their lives. We haven't had the luxury of sleepwalking through life, oblivious to the roles we engender, or how they sway our actions or our perceptions.  We haven't had the luxury of living a life of uncomplicated emotions. We have lived through pain and learned the lessons that come with that. We have evolved as a result. We think about things, analyze them, try to understand them. It's a natural byproduct of spending every waking moment trying to understand and psychoanalyze ourselves.

My point is, I think most of us here have a highly-developed sense of compassion and empathy. You think that you are coming off as bitchy, but it's quite possible that what is really being read by the members here is that you are scared, or in pain, or upset. Maybe they're standing by you because they can see what you really mean and what you are going through.

We shouldn't try to invalidate the support that is offered to us by telling ourselves we don't deserve it. You're going through a rough patch right now, what with your birthday coming up and all. Is it just because you're getting older, or is there another reason? I hated my birthday for nigh a decade because in my head it  was a reminder that nobody cared about me or loved me enough to celebrate me.

So, Aly, if you're being a bitch, I think that you'll be told, although probably in kinder terms. If you aren't being sent that message, then stop projecting it onto your brothers and sisters here. You'll just serve to alienate yourself and bring yourself down by submitting to this persecution complex and victim mentality.

Hang in there, girl. You're just making your way through a stormy time. But remember that we 're here to offer you an umbrella and hand you a towel.

I hope your weekend gives you a reason to smile. It's a cute smile, after all.

Cheers,
Tegan

[Veronica M]

I honestly just think its a product of how objectified transwomen are, so much so that it internalizes. A transgirls success is measured by how pretty she is and I'm not blaming people on here for internalizing that cuz its just natural. So cuz I'm pretty people on here are a bit nicer cuz pretty subconsciously equals success. And if a transgirls pretty it somehow validates others' experiences. Its more to do with transphobia and the effect it has but I don't judge.

Or maybe its just me projecting my real world experiences on to people on here. I guess maybe I just hate my personality so much I can't see why anyone here would "care about me" for more than that cuz why? I see no reason

Very interesting analogy Abby... Now, let me tell you why I like you, and it has nothing to do with how pretty you are. Your opinionated, strong willed, when you have something to say, you say it, yet you sometimes don't let the cat totally out of the bag as to your emotions at times. Your blunt and to the point, and usually don't mince words or beat around the bush. I respect that in a person. Yet and still your not afraid to show your weaker side and wear your emotions on your sleeve. Some will say that is a bad quality, I personally do not think that. You are full of life, even though you get down just like the rest of us, you hide it behind this cute billy bad ass attitude. Which is not an insult mind you, just an observation.

You have a long life ahead of you and it is just my stupid opinion but I think your attitude will change as to the growing old thing. For now though go out and live life to your your fullest. You only get one go around so make it worth while. 

[crowcrow223]

I feel kind of terrible for it, but as someone else mentioned, I really don't have any other goals, that keep my mind that extremely busy, like wanting to be beautiful and attractive.

Thank G-d, I might have a perspective of reaching my goal at least partially, at least to some extent, where I would be able to live my life. Not being pretty holds me from meeting new people, going out, enjoying my life, I don't want to do anything unless I feel beautiful. Like I'm this shallow, superficial, blonde imbecile that worries how she looks 24/7. I tried fighting it, but we hear everywhere "be yourself", and as far as I can remember, even when I was a child, I always wanted to be beautiful. It is me... It's me. I'm trying to be myself.

Although reaching this goal can be quite lengthy and draining, so I decided to ask my local GP for counselling sessions, as from time to time I get this day where I'm on the verge of having a mental breakdown because of the way I look, so I decided to combat it slightly, just so that I would keep it together.

[Kimberley Beauregard]

My main concerns will be 1) can I pass, and 2) can I look feminine?  Everything else won't matter as much, but I'd probably play around once in a while to see what different looks I can achieve.  I imagine I'd like to look pretty.

I think (to some degree) everyone is concerned about their appearance, especially the guys who want to look manly and heterosexual.  I know for sure I am as a guy.

[piglet smith]

It was fairly important, but I've mostly given up on it. Now I'm just trying to keep what little sanity I may still possess.

[Kara Jayde]

I'd be lying if I said I didn't care about looks, or else I think my dysphoria would be less intense (it's mostly triggered by looking at myself and seeing a man), but I'd be happy to pass and be attractive enough that some guys/gals would be interested in me. I don't need to be a supermodel, but I don't want to be ostracized either.

[Heather]

To be honest from what I've discovered if you want to find happiness in this life and in your transition is that you shouldn't focus too much on your outer appearance. Focus on your heart and your mind for they are far more important for living a life that is full of happiness.  

[Nero]

And I absolutely know that people treat me better, are more lenient, try to agree with me more and give me more attention here if I post a pic or esp if I have one as my avatar, the difference is incredible. But I'm not blaming anyone for that or anything, it's just how people work I guess.

Well, I wonder if part of it is that you've been around here awhile, having multiple names and accounts. And so when you come in under a new name, we don't know until you post a pic. And then we're like 'oh it's 'fiercegirl'!' I for one, liked you long before I ever saw your pic (I don't tend to look in the picture threads). You have a very distinct personality. So, I doubt looks is why people like you here. Though of course, you're right. Pretty people are treated better.

Part of it may also be age on here. More leeway tends to be given and a lot of members may have daughters your age.