Thanks everyone for the feedback. I want to apologize for being a huge mess in this thread. I just feel really bad about my body and appearance. Since that is how I measure my transition progress, I feel very trapped and miserable at the moment. Unlike most of you here, I don't allow myself to live or strive for the life I want until I know that I pass. And yeah, I want to be pretty too and it hurts so much to know I'm not and probably won't be anytime soon. I'm tired of being this way. I just want to be happy.
For all the girls that haven't started transitioning yet, please don't be like me. There are healthier ways to lose weight and make something of yourself. Really, most of this stuff is just working hard and putting your mind to something. Our dreams don't need to be impossible. I don't want to be the negative force that I'm becoming, but I'm very flawed and have many anxieties, but that doesn't mean this will be you. I felt compelled to write this warning because I feel like I may be contributing to other people's eating disorders. That is something I feel very passionate about and really don;t want to do. Love who you are and take care of your body. You're worth it.
Thanks again everyone. I won't take the diet pills. I'll just continue losing the weight the way I've been going. Thank you all.
