Sex as a non op

[ImagineKate]

 I'm trying really hard to keep things together at home and even though I don't really enjoy sex from a male POV that much I don't mind it. And truth be told SRS is daunting, especially post op maintenance. So if I remain non op and my wife wants penetrative sex, but HRT makes it hard to get it up, can you use conventional ED meds to help? Under a doctor's guidance of course. We aren't worried about getting pregnant. She has 5 kids, 3 of which are mine and we have 10 more in the freezer if we really wanted (we did IVF and froze the excess embryos).

What do you think? Yes I know I won't be completely happy but in a marriage there are compromises. I get to be me to some degree and she gets to be somewhat happy with our sex life.

[Randi]

None of the usual ED drugs work for me, and I've tried them all.  That doesn't mean my wife goes un-satisfied.  After some heart to heart talk we discovered that PIV sex was something neither of us cared for very much. We were doing it because we thought the other expected it. Without going into detail, there are many other ways to have sex and orgasms are in plentiful supply for both of us.

After over 30 years of marriage be both know how the other's body works.  We were both surprised to learn that when she sucked on my breasts, my shrunken penis blossomed into it's former glory.  There is quite a bit of re-discovery going on.

Now it's possible my wife is not like other women, but I really don't think so.

Randi 
 

[Jill F]

I probably still could if I wanted to, and I had an orchi.  Not interested in PIV sex unless it was my V though.

[ImagineKate]

So as it turns out I discovered a few things.

Even low dose E completely kills my sex drive. I mean I couldn't get it up at all when I was on it and a while after I got off it.

She plays with what little breasts I have and I enjoy it *a lot*. She also finds lots of other places where I get really excited.

That said she still wants penetration and sadly on HRT that won't be happening... So now we aren't in a good place. Transition will likely mean the end of our marriage

[Jill F]

Strap one on? 

[JoanneB]

I've seen some pretty hard core methods talked about on a eunuch forum. You got to REALLY want to have sex that to resort to them IMHO. 

[Jess42]

Strap one on?

You could always go that route.

If it's purely about pleasure, the "pencil and writing" usually isn't as good as the "talking".

Really though. Most girls that I have had relationships with or jsut one nightstands it has always been the way I "talked" to them and when it come to that, I've had more than my fair share of giggles. But they never complained about the first part. With guys I have never had a complaint or giggle. Wow that's a thinker.

[ErinS]

Who knows?,maybe things will keep working. My T levels are literally undetectable and I have zero functional problems. Granted, Im not sexually driven like I once was, but desire and performance is still there.

[ImagineKate]

I doubt anything will work. Even low dose E kills it for me. Anyway it's a moot point as we are probably not staying together anyway. Oh well.

[TSJasmine]

You will still be able to get it up if you're on HRT. I still can. If you lose interest it won't maintain but it's not hard to get. I think you can use Viagra though & it's fine

[Beth Andrea]

I asked my endo about this (more in the interest of keeping things close to proper size for later recycling and re-use), and he gave me 8 free samples of Viagra (which are kind of expensive, if one were to buy them).

We're still in the trial phase, researching and checking results. So far, negative.

[ImagineKate]

Yeah the NP I saw yesterday (who works with the endo) said they can do stuff to keep me functional, but at this stage why bother.

[ImagineKate]

Here is the weird thing now.

With my new medication regimen I'm actually back to functioning, which is weird. On E only it was totally dead. Now I can actually get to the point where she is happy and I can get in and even go all the way to the happy ending.

The difference is they replaced one half of my blood pressure meds (benazepril) with spiro. I'm on a moderately high dose of E.

Well whatever. Hey it works. I can be intimate with her for now while we figure out what to do next.
It's only been a week so let's see how it progresses.

At the very least I can preserve the skin for SRS by exercising it. I'm not circumcised (I don't believe in it and my son isn't either) so that helps too.

[StevieAK]

Ive been on meds for over two years and have a great sex life w my wife on spiro and e. It takes a long time to be able to get it done but 45 min of foreplay...well not really a draw back in her eyes or mine. All i can relate is my experience. Best wishes on your journey.