Susan's Place Logo

News:

Please be sure to review The Site terms of service, and rules to live by

Main Menu

Why?

Started by Joanna Dark, April 12, 2014, 11:09:17 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Ms Grace

Quote from: Evelyn K on April 12, 2014, 01:25:24 PM
I would add sometimes the posts are so long and thought out that replying to each point is rather of an ordeal. So we may acknowledge what was written yet decide that maybe someone else, who has more patience, might say what we where thinking all along. I encounter this sometimes, reading a well thought out reply, wanting to agree, but I'd feel trite just adding my 2cents. So I just don't reply altogether.

Doesn't mean the message has been ignored.

I agree with this. It's hard enough responding to what I do respond to and I don't even read some sections of the site through lack of time, not lack of interest. If people don't respond to me, meh, whatevs!

I'd say I haven't noticed any particular cliques but then I know I am very chummy with some of the Aussie gals, but I've actually met many of them in person so of course I'm friendly and in jokey with them. I don't think we're a clique though. Doesn't mean I won't talk to anyone else, although sometimes, if I know nothing about the political/medical/whatever lay of the land where the OP is from I can't really help or offer much advise so stay quiet.
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
  •  

luna nyan

It's human nature to form cliques, but they're terrible for those on the outside looking in.

If we're talking about the basest form of human nature, we feel better if we see someone in a situation that is worse than our own.  "At least I'm not like... blah blah blah..."
Being lower on the human totem pole makes you feel more isolated, ashamed, and depressed.

My only response to that is "stuff that, I know my own worth", and each every person should know and feel this way as well.

I know I'm being cynical about this, but I am aware that I'm not part of the "real" demographic of this site and that my posts are either a) irrelevant to people or b) not necessarily what they want to hear or c) just straight answers for people who are fact finding.  That often means no reply.

In the two years I've been on this site, I've made zero friends, either by design or by fate, take it whichever way you will.  I'm willing to help people, that being part of who I am, but I'm expecting little in return.

I'm still going to stick around for a while yet.
Drifting down the river of life...
My 4+ years non-transitioning HRT experience
Ask me anything!  I promise you I know absolutely everything about nothing! :D
  •  

Ms Grace

Quote from: luna nyan on April 13, 2014, 07:26:57 AM
In the two years I've been on this site, I've made zero friends, either by design or by fate, take it whichever way you will.

To be honest I've only been aware of you in the last week or so... I thought you must have been relatively new. Have you been out of circulation for a few months? Are you using a new avatar a or did you change your name? Sometimes people do that and its hard to keep track of who is who - especially the people not using avatars. As a user I need something consistent to relate to, even if it is a cartoon character or whatever. For what it's worth I've enjoyed, respected and appreciated our recent brief exchanges.
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
  •  

luna nyan

Quote from: Ms Grace on April 13, 2014, 07:36:30 AM
Have you been out of circulation for a few months? Are you using a new avatar a or did you change your name?
I did change my avatar.  My original avatar was Maetel from Galaxy Express 999.  It's now currently chibi-Luna from My Little Pony.  I tend to drop out for a few weeks at a time depending on how busy I am.  Right now I have a bit more extra free time so my post count may spike a bit.

QuoteFor what it's worth I've enjoyed, respected and appreciated our recent brief exchanges.
You're welcome.
Drifting down the river of life...
My 4+ years non-transitioning HRT experience
Ask me anything!  I promise you I know absolutely everything about nothing! :D
  •  

Beverly

Quote from: kelly_aus on April 12, 2014, 05:57:27 PM
Bluntness, honesty and reality are not appreciated here..

True to some extent. It depends on how 'bad' the message is and who you are telling. Some people here have extremely unrealistic expectations. Others believe they know better than the Doctors/Endos. Try telling that lot something they do not want to hear and the negative responses flow in.

It is hardly surprising. Being pre-transition damages a lot of people and the process of transition can be very stressful in the early stages causing yet more damage, so it is hardly surprising that a lot of negativity and pain can be found here.

When people here start shooting at me for telling them the truth, I just ignore them or I go away from this place. I only come here to try and help those who genuinely need to know something because there is a huge amount of misinformation about the transition process in the UK, most of it coming from people who have not even started transition or who have an axe of some sort to grind. It is how I 'give back' because I was helped by those who went before me and I try to help those coming along behind me. However, I am getting to the point where I think I have done my share now and so I am slowly withdrawing from the trans community in general and just sticking to a dozen close trans friends in real life.
  •  

Eva Marie

I've been here a long time and i've seen a lot of cliques come and go. It's the nature of a forum like this.

I read threads where I just don't have any relevant advice so I don't respond. Others trigger me and I don't respond. Sometimes I am too tired to respond, or maybe i've had a couple of drinks and know not to respond. Other times I think that i've been too active here and people are tired of reading my .02 so I don't respond. My life experiences may be radically different than the OPs, or there may be a perceived age difference or a perceived difference in life values and I don't think I have anything relevant to share, so I don't respond.

The bottom line is that there are lots of reasons that people won't respond to a given thread, and a lot of those reasons may not have anything to do with the OP.

I have been on the receiving end of being ignored too. I had to find ways to move past it; and the way I did that was to realize that what I said might have helped the OP and they just didn't respond, or it might help someone when they look at the thread in the future. Or maybe what I said wasn't particularly useful and I need to quit posting until i've adjusted my thinking. I've had to realize that I am just a cog in the big machine of life and I don't know everything and its really not all about me.

We are all unique individuals with unique life experiences that we bring here and share; we are the fabric that makes up this forum. Without all of us there this site would have no value. Sometimes I can help and I get acknowledged, sometimes I think I helped and don't get acknowledged, sometimes it's me asking for help, and sometimes there are some not really well thought out posts that i've made that I later really regret making.

At the end of the day the best I can do is just try to be helpful and kind to people as I see opportunities to do so. Whether they accept what I had to say is really up to them.

I do read most of your posts JD.

  •