complicated sexuality issues thanks non binary gender identity & body dysphoria

[Kinkly]

ive recently felt my desire for intimate encounters to increase ( posibly thanks to my first ever encounter)  I have been comunicating with a lady who seems keen to help me experement and explore with her.
I have major dysphoria reguarding my bits - Im MAAB - Im concerned that she wants to engange in those parts and are looking for other intimate ideas. but almost everything sexual that i can find about ts women involves the bits I have no conection with  I'm sorry if this is asking for this info is not acceptiable here or should be posted elswhere on this site.  It has been a while since I posted here and know from past expierances that posting outside the Androgyne area can be asking for trouble as a non binary identified person dispite knowing that this is possibly better understood in the binary trans female forum

[suzifrommd]

I posted a sort of tutorial on how to use your hands to pleasure a woman just last week. Here's the link if it helps: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,161952.msg1388396.html#msg1388396

Most important thing about sex is the sharing. Doesn't as much matter what you do as who you are with. If you treat it as an adventure you're both part of, then figuring out what works for both of you will be a lot more fun.

Good luck Kinkly. Don't forget to enjoy and savor the experience!

[Open Mind]

Hi Kinkly,

I've been poking around this site for a little while, and joined just now so I could respond to your post, because I'm on the other side of it.  I'm not sure how to describe myself exactly yet, because the terminology is so new to me.  I was born female, but have felt male or non-gendered most of my life.  The gender of my partner has never been a deciding factor for me.

In any case, I'm currently dating an MtoF transperson, and what we are doing is just exploring.  Trying this and that.  Seeing what feels good to her, and what feels good to me.  Some things haven't worked out great, so we're putting those off to the side.  Some things have been fantastic and so we keep going with those things.  My lover is pre-op, and so while we have had PIV sex a few times with varying amounts of success, I have never seen or touched her penis (well, except with the inside of my vagina).  She doesn't want me seeing or touching that part of her.  I honor her limit.  There are so many other parts of the body to explore, and so many different ways to touch each other. 

You said your lady friend is interested in exploring with you, and that sounds great.  You are concerned that she will want to engage certain bits of you that you don't want engaged?  Then tell her up front that those bits are off limits.  You have to be clear and specific.  This is no time to be coy with her.  You can gauge by her reaction to your limits whether it's a good idea to get together with her or not.  Be open to exploring the things you BOTH want to explore together.  Be prepared for some things to just not feel great.  It's not a failure, it's a learning experience.

Just keep the lines of communication open, and I think you will do fine. 

[Kinkly]

thanks open mind.  I have told her I not interested in exploring that region but she has made comments questions reguarding that region that make me think she doesnt get it.  when the time comes I will be sure to explain a few thing first

[Open Mind]

Rather than tell her you're not interested in exploring those bits, be more specific and say you will not explore those bits. 

If she doesn't "get it", she doesn't "get you", IMO.  If she doesn't "get you" emotionally, and you shouldn't let her "get you" physically.