Secretly transitioning?

[timbuck2]

Ever since getting top surgery the need to start Testosterone has been stronger than ever. I've realized how many aspects of my body can't change without the proper hormones and while my dysphoria has lessened greatly I'm now dysphoric about other things (hips too wide, wrists too small, jaw not strong enough etc.) and the only answer is to start treatment.
The only issue here is I've lived in the same place with the same people for 10 years now and I'm afraid of the consequences that may arise if any of these people were to notice what was happening with me.
My mother knows I  struggle with my gender but is otherwise oblivious to my transition. I think the fact that I've always acted stereotypically male and had very large breasts kind of made my clothing choices and the surgery make sense in her mind but thats beside the point, what I want to know is if anyone thinks theres any possibility of being on T without my family or neighbors finding out. I know the changes don't come immediately and it depends on the person but has anyone successful started hormones while keeping a tight lid on that aspect of their transition?

[mm]

timbuck2, congratulations on getting top surgery.  Having large breasts you had a valid reason for telling your family why you wanted it.  Were you able to become completely flat with a man's contour chest?  Does you family know you are so flat and like your chest so much now?  I am pre-t so don't have any good idea on dealing with your family when starting t.  I am at college away from my family, so don't them only a few times a year now.

[Sebryn]

Well I'm sorry to say there is really no way to secretly be on hormones for long periods of time since given time there are going to be very noticeable changes that people around you won't be able to ignore. Sure you could secretly start T but eventually the cat would be out of the bag. 

[timbuck2]

mm: thanks! My mother knows I am happy with my chest but I think she just thinks I'm happy I no longer have breasts, not the fact that it's very much a male chest.

Sebryn: Of course, I couldn't keep it a secret forever haha. I will hopefully be leaving in the fall and will no longer have to return home for any reason whatsoever  but thats many months away. If I was to start in say May I'm frightened about keeping that secret, or rather not being able to keep it, for 7 months. I can't stand not being on T...but being on it seems impossible.

sigh 🙁

[Adam (birkin)]

You can get away with it for a little while, depending how fast you change. I didn't tell certain family members for a while and for like...9 months...they just thought I had a bad cold or something. But there came a point where I didn't even have to tell them I was on hormones, they just knew because so much had changed. Like I have family who I've never mentioned the issue to and they mention it as though I told them.

[Kreuzfidel]

I've gotten away with it for 2 years - but only because I live in a completely different country to my family.

I'll also have to tell them eventually, but they pretty much know as they've said as much.  We've really just never had "that conversation".

[aleon515]

I think it's very possible for awhile. First of all the changes do take awhile. And your voice can get deeper for awhile while people think you have a cold. I suppose you can do other things to hide it (shaving, dressing femininely, etc.). I think you wouldn't feel too happy about this but survival is survival.

I had no trouble not coming out at work for about 3 months. Could easily have done 6-7.

--Jay

[timbuck2]

Thanks everyone.

I've always dressed in male clothes, had short hair, and have a relatively deep voice so I do have a few things working in my favor at least. I also have no real contact with the rest of my family outside of my father who is rarely around, I just have this crazy idea in my head that my mother will find out and I'll end up homeless. I might be moving in the fall and that would be a godsend, I could shave religiously for 6 months haha.

[Jack_M]

It's case by case but my voice definitely changed in the first month and noticeably so. I always had a low voice but it became far more resonant and obviously male. Now it's waaaaaay deeper but the first month definitely changed a fair bit. By about 4.5 months I had gradually gotten down to the level I'm at now. I was recording every week and that's when I stopped noticing changes.  By that point I had a lower voice than a lot of the cis guys I know! I wouldn't risk trying to get away with it myself. Better to either wait, or come out I'd say.