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What I fear continuing this path is that I may actually become really attractive

Started by Evelyn K, April 15, 2014, 07:41:37 PM

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Evelyn K

What if the changes you are seeing are pointing overwhelmingly in one direction? That (as conceited and subjective as it sounds) you really actually may become beautiful? "I'd take it! Why even think twice about it???" you say? Well you see...

... I'm not sure how to reconcile being beautiful with the andro-masculine personality that's already me.

Wouldn't it be the most insane paradox to transition into a beautiful gal with all of its benefits, only to feel more like a man?
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Tori

Ah, first world problems.  :P

I admit, I share that fear from time to time, but I have little to worry about.

I blended in as a guy. Now I get noticed as trans.

I hope to blend in as a woman, not to get noticed even more.


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Evelyn K

oh gawd.

The reality:

I can look average as a 5'5" (not tall) guy - yet women prefer height, other options.
I can look good as a 5'5" (not tall) andro guy - bit better charisma, appeal to women who like the softer types
Become very attractive as a 5'5" (average height) gal - attractive only to maybe, lesbians (never mind men, not going there)

If I had the ability to pick one. Which one would offer the better quality of life overall.

See the conundrum?

If only there where more openly available lipstick lesbians in this world. Because I'm a girl luv'r true and through. Maybe the answer would be easier...
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Sophia Hawke

Quote from: Evelyn K on April 15, 2014, 08:29:16 PM
oh gawd.

The reality:

I can look average as a 5'5" (not tall) guy - yet women prefer height, other options.
I can look good as a 5'5" (not tall) andro guy - bit better charisma, appeal to women who like the softer types
Become very attractive as a 5'5" (average height) gal - attractive only to maybe, lesbians (never mind men, not going there)

If I had the ability to pick one. Which one would offer the better quality of life overall.

See the conundrum?

If only there where more openly available lipstick lesbians in this world. Because I'm a girl luv'r true and through. Maybe the answer would be easier...

Are you on hormones yet? 
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Tori

I have not had trouble meeting lipstick lesbians... but I am married so that is probably why. Heh...

Perhaps volunteer in the box office or lobby of a local burlesque show. Many burlesque artists have an adventurous side, and they also have circles of friends.


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Just Shelly

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Evelyn K

"Tall, Dark and Handsome" that's what CIS women want, 5'8" at the minimum.

Know what I mean?
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katiej

I know what you mean.  I'm 5'8" which is on the short side for guys, and when I was trying to blend in as a guy I was always a bit envious of taller guys.  But for a girl I'm relatively tall, but still not tall enough that it impedes blending in as a woman.
"Before I do anything I ask myself would an idiot do that? And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing." --Dwight Schrute
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Evelyn K

Yeah, people, even Evelyn K has her own issues and dysphorias, I have insecurities too. I'm not perfect either...
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Eva Marie

Quote from: katiej on April 15, 2014, 11:23:10 PM
I know what you mean.  I'm 5'8" which is on the short side for guys, and when I was trying to blend in as a guy I was always a bit envious of taller guys.  But for a girl I'm relatively tall, but still not tall enough that it impedes blending in as a woman.

I'm also 5'8" and I have the same issue. On the shorter side for a dude and a wee bit taller than average for a female. Since I wear heels and wedges all of the time that makes it a little bit worse. I think that people tend to notice me when I'm out and about because of that.
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Tori

We all have body issues.

That you are too short to be a, "Man" is delightfully new to me.

We ALL have them.


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Ms Grace

As a guy, as far as I can tell, I was "tall, fair and whatever". I just wasn't that interesting to cis women, surprise surprise, it was because they were interested in cis guys. My height was no magic pass to attracting women, which never seemed to happen. I never had any manly charisma which seems to be the real secret ingredient.

As a woman it would seem I'm "tall, red and (apparently) attractive". But being tall puts most guys off, many just can't see themselves with a woman that's taller than themselves. (A lament I've heard from a few tall women.) That's fine, don't see myself with guys anyway... but I really do find myself noticing the few guys who are taller than me! Don't know what lesbian women feel about tall chicks. Hopefully it has more to do with how we click than relative height and beauty.
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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mandonlym

Female attractiveness has a lot of perks, whether you use it to attract men or not. But one thing about it is that it's easy to make it go away more or less. So many women use so many products to make themselves beautiful that if you just don't wear makeup and wear baggy clothes people are much less likely to notice you. Lots of pretty cis women do this all the time.

I'm 5'6" and it's a great height. Taller than average but not too tall.
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Jane's Sweet Refrain

There's a refrain from one of my favorite Elvis Costello songs that runs through my head when a man finds me attractive but doesn't really want to date when finding out I'm a transsexual: "What shall we do? What shall we do / With all this useless beauty?" (I'm taking the lines out of the song's context). I wonder if most women (cis or trans) whom others consider attractive find that beauty exceeds its usefulness in so many ways.
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JamesG

Quote from: mandonlym on April 16, 2014, 04:46:11 AM
Female attractiveness has a lot of perks, whether you use it to attract men or not. But one thing about it is that it's easy to make it go away more or less. So many women use so many products to make themselves beautiful that if you just don't wear makeup and wear baggy clothes people are much less likely to notice you. Lots of pretty cis women do this all the time.

This rings true to me.  Most "beautiful"men Tom Cruise, Orlando Bloom, Johonny Depp, etc. are very "pretty" with more than a little bit feminine aspect.

As I have gotten "prettier" (thinner, longer hair, fairer skin, etc.) I have found that I've caught the eye of cis women more often (and i think it wasn't because they were staring at a freak, lol). As well as gay men, but I've always had that problem no matter what I looked like (i have a gaydar transponder apparently)...

I'd say don't worry about it.  Be internally motivated. Do what makes you feel better, not what effects others.  If that makes you more "attractive", try not to let it go to your head.
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Seyranna

Welcome in my world.

I'm a hot chick and I'm polygender, not even binary identified. But sometimes it's funny to be such an attractive woman and exert a certain level of masculinity. Really messes with people's mind.
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Veronica M

LOL... Just my two cents for what is worth... I think it comes down to that saying that "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" It is really what is on the inside that really counts. Me, I will be happy just to be a happy o'l lady. If beauty comes along with it that's cool, but I am the one that has to look in the mirror and as long as I am happy with what I see, I'm good with that.
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katiej

Quote from: Eva Marie on April 16, 2014, 12:45:17 AM
I'm also 5'8" and I have the same issue. On the shorter side for a dude and a wee bit taller than average for a female. Since I wear heels and wedges all of the time that makes it a little bit worse. I think that people tend to notice me when I'm out and about because of that.

How tall are your heels?  I tend to wear shorter heels, and I'm still shorter than most guys.  2-3" gives the look, but I'm still under 6' tall.
"Before I do anything I ask myself would an idiot do that? And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing." --Dwight Schrute
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Evelyn K

Kate, I don't wear heels or womenly clothes. I'm still andro.

This is the kind of stuff I wear in professional mode (except the accessories, maybe a thin charmed chain).

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