Is this normal?

[Jason C]

Yeah, it's normal. I don't really have dysphoria about my genitals unless with regards to something sexual, but even then, I just avoid what would make me feel bad so it's OK. I don't know if I don't want a penis because I've never had one before so I can't imagine it at all, or if I just genuinely don't want one. But I wouldn't want surgery except top surgery, so it's alright. Either way, you're absolutely not alone

[blink]

Wow, Manny. That is a bad experience, that therapist obviously wasn't familiar with gender dysphoria or she would know it's not remotely comparable to being unhappy with one's nose. No wonder you don't want to talk to another therapist.

Tell me if I understand what you're saying now. Are you saying you don't think the results are "good" because it's not exactly the same as being born with the male reproductive system? The thing about surgery is, results have to be evaluated with "reasonable expectations" in mind, that is, within the bounds of what is currently possible. If it weren't currently technologically possible to produce white paint, getting a very light grey paint would be a good result.

There is some very promising research going on for more advanced options, though, such as 3-D printing of organs. It would be amazing if they can someday print not only the correct genitalia but also, testicles for FTMs and ovaries for MTFs. We wouldn't need external sources of hormones anymore. It'd probably be very expensive, especially at first, but it would be an awesome option.

[AdamMLP]

I'm not going to get into bottom surgery because it's just a touchy subject.  People don't want to be told that their penis isn't good enough, whether they're trans or cis.  I completely understand that you don't want therapy, I've had some pretty harmful experiences myself, but it might be worth talking to someone about how you'll feel with the growth that T might give you.  You can't pick and change the effects.

So definitely not going back to therapy - although sometimes I do wish I could talk to someone about myself. I just want my gender dysphoria diagnosis and my T letter, and if I have to lie to get it maybe I should (though I wish I didn't have to). Especially because I live in Spain and here people don't have great knowledge of gender issues (most people don't even know that there are non-binary genders lol). Don't get me wrong, it's a very open-minded country when it comes to LGB people, just not with regard to gender, and getting a T prescription usually takes months so I'll see how my first few appointments go and if I feel like it's a waste of time then maybe I should start the transition process privately (and find a WPATH therapist maybe if there are any?) once I'm in the UK. But this is something to worry about later on, I can't decide yet.

If you're considering going private in the UK then you might need to start saving now.  It's around £200-250 for the first appointments and then around £100 after that.  I don't know what your situation is with getting NHS prescriptions but if you're not eligible for them you'll be paying out for T itself too.

[GnomeKid]

I don't think you need to feel like you want a penis to be legitimately FTM, but I do think that you're opinions on the matter may change with time.  I was of the same opinion when I was pre-everything.  I didn't want any bottom op at all.... but if you give a moose a muffin......

Now I'm post-top and on T for almost 6 years... all I can think about is how much I want bottom surgery.