What's your current employment situation?

[Misato]

Changed jobs three times due to poor fits. One place artfully cut out every need someone in the LGBT community might need. Second I'm pretty sure my boss wanted to, "Make a man outta me" and I didn't take to that well nor handle it well. Third, adjusting to all the BS that goes with being a woman in STEM.

Since going full time on January, 11 2013 I'm making about 9% more than I did at the end of my old life.

But, money isn't everything and I am unhappy in the career I inherited but, not liking your job is pretty common so that's not a big deal. It pays well enough to let me pay back my student loans and live comfortably and proceed with transition so it ain't all bad. Just sucks being called "smart" but yet treated like I'm 50 I.Q. points dumber than I am. Or caring about my colleges feelings, I've gotten flack over that too.

[Auroramarianna]

But, money isn't everything and I am unhappy in the career I inherited but, not liking your job is pretty common so that's not a big deal. It pays well enough to let me pay back my student loans and live comfortably and proceed with transition so it ain't all bad. Just sucks being called "smart" but yet treated like I'm 50 I.Q. points dumber than I am. Or caring about my colleges feelings, I've gotten flack over that too.

A lot of women feel they are treated this way when compared to their male colleagues. Do you think you are treated like this for being a woman or do they know you are transsexual??

[Misato]

A lot of women feel they are treated this way when compared to their male colleagues. Do you think you are treated like this for being a woman or do they know you are transsexual??

I'm 100% certain it's because I'm a woman. Other women at work even tell me it's because I'm a woman or share their own micro-aggressions the boys give them.

No matter their background, people don't generally give me any grief cause I'm trans. I hit a bad egg once in a great great great great great great great great great while but if I had to rank things that I'm likely to be discriminated against or catch flack over in a day I think that list would be:

• Woman
• Vegetarian
• ...
• ...
• ...
• Transwoman

[Eva Marie]

My experience at work seems to be far different that other people's experiences have been.

I do computer programming for a smaller company here in the L.A. area. I nervously came out to the CEO and president of my company a couple of weeks ago and it went far, far better than I ever imagined it would. The CEO and president (a female, she holds both positions) is 100% supportive of me as has been every upper management person that's been told to date (about 7 of them). She runs the place with a firm hand and maybe she laid down the law to the other managers. I'll never know for sure about that but it would not surprise me one iota if she did. I've always admired her and the way she runs the company.

When we finished talking she even said that she was glad to have another female on the engineering team.

I show up at work sporting a purse and wearing heels in just a couple of weeks from now.

Its eerie...... I keep waiting for the other shoe to fall. I've read the stories of people getting fired and discriminated against and I wonder why none of that happened to me. After all, I'm not worthy of treatment that's more special than anyone else gets.

So I'm feeling tons of stress now to be the best employee I can be and make them glad that they were so great about accepting me. I also don't want to do anything that would ruin the acceptance that they have shown me. I'll work like a dog for this company to show my appreciation to them because they were so great about this.

[Handy]

   Currently a student but the company I interned at over the summer has already hired me on full time for after I graduate as a mobile developer! They are aware of my being trans and are incredibly supportive, though I haven't gone full time yet, but they are REALLY harping on diversity lately; they have an LGBT networking forum I am a member of (very large company) and they've chosen me to help run the company's booth at the local pride festival!

I've never experienced any direct harassment or microaggressions at work for any reason; I HAVE heard that trans people are disproportionately represented in engineering/programming fields, so maybe the people I work with are desensitized to these sorts of things!

Whatever the case, just wanted to throw out that sometimes things work out pretty darn ok!

[Misato]

Its eerie...... I keep waiting for the other shoe to fall. I've read the stories of people getting fired and discriminated against and I wonder why none of that happened to me. After all, I'm not worthy of treatment that's more special than anyone else gets.

So I'm feeling tons of stress now to be the best employee I can be and make them glad that they were so great about accepting me. I also don't want to do anything that would ruin the acceptance that they have shown me. I'll work like a dog for this company to show my appreciation to them because they were so great about this.

I've done work for a Board Game Store too, back in Wisconsin. They don't care I'm trans either. They just want people with common sense.

I get the fear of the shoe dropping but I do think what's important is just being someone that other people like to be a around. Same as is true for cis folk. Forgive me but, sometimes I wonder if some of the problems that the trans community experiences isn't due to us being trans but the collateral damage that comes from being in the closet and living in fear for a long time and having a lack of trust.

[Misato]

I've never experienced any direct harassment or microaggressions at work for any reason; I HAVE heard that trans people are disproportionately represented in engineering/programming fields, so maybe the people I work with are desensitized to these sorts of things!

I wonder if the acceptance is more due to the plethora of extreme personalities that Engineering seems to attract. On that level being trans or the side effects from being trans are just par for the course when it comes to behavior.

[Michelle G]

Self employed now but the last company I worked for was a large family owned construction company that proved to be trans friendly when a close coworker announced she was going to start her transition, the company made the comfort level very easy and my coworker/friend had zero issues at all as far as work went. I worked there for 21 years, good people!

[Apples Mk.II]

Coming out at my old job meant a lot of personal attacks and discrimination that ended with nearly one year of sick leave I was in the hardest stage (RLE) and transphobia combined with mobbing broke me. After managing to finally put all my crap together after fighting depression, anxiety, I told my bosses that I was feeling able to work again. Two days later they called me telling that they had a vacant in a new project and needed personnel fast.


I did not have to think about it a lot (no work, no thai pussy). I went into a controlled shopping spree in order to have enough semiformal clothing to look ok for five days a week and a week later I wast at the main office, working in a new project in a whole new different field of IT. So far I don't pass (my status is "suspected to be trans, but not confirmed"), but since only four persons know my background things are pretty calm. No trans questions, bathroom drama... They even had no issue when I needed three weeks off for my upcoming FFS. So I could say I'm on a rather trans friendly environment.

Best thing is that not having to do physical stuff anymore, I can wear anything I want; including dresses and shoes that otherwise wouldn't have been "apt for work". Yesterday I went to in a black casual dress for the first time and I loved it. Until I had to sit down in a cold stone seat while waiting for the train.

Edited to correct my awful touchscreen ortography.

[Michelle G]

Julia! That is fantastic, being able to be comfortable at work by wearing what you want is a big deal

[Eva Marie]

I get the fear of the shoe dropping but I do think what's important is just being someone that other people like to be a around. Same as is true for cis folk. Forgive me but, sometimes I wonder if some of the problems that the trans community experiences isn't due to us being trans but the collateral damage that comes from being in the closet and living in fear for a long time and having a lack of trust.

I think that you might be on to something with that idea Paige.

My specific field of programming work is very, very vertical - the job is specialized and these jobs are few and far between. When I took this job a couple of years ago I moved all the way across the country for it since I had not found a job that was closer to me in several months of looking and my bank accounts were getting desperately thin - I felt very lucky to find it. I had a family to feed and hanging onto this job was critical.

So, given that, I made every effort to be friendly to people and I jumped into anything that the company needed with an apparent good attitude and I worked my butt off. Meanwhile, I was in the closet and was suffering horrible bouts of dysphoria during this time but I managed to hide it from work. I was drinking like a fish every night after work just to cope.

I think that my cheerful, positive, upbeat attitude I projected went a long way toward them wanting to keep me around when I came out - I was lucky because I was able to successfully fake being that kind of person even though I didn't feel it prior to accepting who I am.

The damage from the years of suffering for who we are make it difficult for us on the job and during interviews. It is very hard to be cheerful and upbeat and positive when the dysphoria monkey is on your back.

[Misato]

Eva,

I was such a mean, nasty person to my family before transition the feedback I got back from them after was, "You're nice now!" And they embraced me.

I was also in a bottle before transition. Delightful kicker on that is my SO told me she nearly left me because of my drinking. Now, when I told her I needed to transition it wasn't a happy time but she stayed and we get along better now than at any other time in our 10 year relationship!

Transition gave me my life.

Good luck on your upcoming big day!

[Apples Mk.II]

Julia! That is fantastic, being able to be comfortable at work by wearing what you want is a big deal

Thanks. Check it again, please. that was only half of the story since I had to stop writing to get in the morning train.


PS: As usual, the trans knowledge on hair removal methods and the best places to do it gives me a lot of talk with the girls. Pretty much the thing that can out me the most is that I am a huge geek and the office is filled with comic book fans, LOTR and Star Wars Addict... Not very common in Spain, and less on women.

[RosieD]

I have worked for the same company for about 13 years. I do project work and came out without changing projects. Everyone got an email on Thursday and I came into the office on Monday as myself and that was about 18 months ago. I was senior technical staff before and I am senior technical staff now. If you live in the UK I can guarantee that some of the things I have worked on affect your life pretty much every day.  So far as I am aware there has been no discrimination, certainly not to my face. I am very, very good at what I do though and transitioning has only improved my performance.

Rosie