Hello all.
It is my first post here and the first thing I would like to say it is a really Big Thanks for all your posts, kindness, informations and more... sincerelly.
So, english is not my native language ; then excuse me for my mistakes (may be not ? ah ah)
I am mtf, 46, live in usa, composer (if you have lyrics, it would be a pleasure to write music on ; just send me your poem, eventually music style and I will do it).
I am married with a wonderful person very supportive and the only person who know my feelings. I have two kids from my first marriage.
Since when ? hard to say. Something was wrong (and "is" because I am not yet a accomplish lady, all is to do except.. the wardrobe... and reading it is a begining). So, something was wrong in my life, irritated, not clear, but a guy life with a lot of good times. Yes but during these, love to wear feminine... so just cross dressing ? I think, I realize love to feel feminine. Step by step since may be 3 years, I bought my first clothes and now, I wear just female clothes at home. Out... I would like but job (a lot know that and transition needs money.. a lot) and my face is too much masculine. Since almost 8 months, I discover Susan's place, and others (the best, for me seems here) and "click"... it is possible and why not me and I lost pretty much easier weight (before, it was a fight) - about 30 lbs and I need to loose about the same.
Before, when I bought guy clothes for example, It was very fast, not really interested. I love now do shopping, take care of me, happy without body hairs (laser and electolysis are not finished...)... just to be woman and I feel so well to be one.
Next step will be probably to meet a transgender community where I live. After, hrt, ffs, srs... I have regret to do not have a magic stick... and then I will lend for you...
But there are again questions in me... and sometimes I think "Is it a fancy, a caprice ?" By the past, I tried to forget all of that, "to close the door"... but irreparably, that come back stronger like a little tree on your garden that you cut, and cut again... but roots become stronger and come back again.
So, since a few months I read a lot in this forum, think to answer but I did not dare. Sorry...
I consider that it is a real chance to be here with you and say again thank you for all.
Take care of you,
Sincerely,
Hannah