are there any straight women here?

[Ltl89]

That's true, but men seem very visually focused.  I feel like I have to be insanely pretty, which I'm not, in order to attract a guy.  Because I'm trans I'm automatically put at a disadvantage when it comes to cis girls and need to almost give him a reason for choosing me over a different girl.  The sad fact is men may love the girl they are with, but they usually find her or give her a chance because of her looks.  It's usually the initial thing they notice and confidence is something I don't have yet.  At this stage, I feel very ugly, and since I'm andro, I will have difficulty attracting gay and straight men a like.  I can't help feeling lonely about it because of where I am.   I do get checked out here and there (which makes me feel both nice and creeped out) but I'm just in such a weird uncertain stage looks wise.  Let's face it, dating is hard when you're trans.  then again I haven't tried yet, so maybe I am worrying about nothing.

[Michelle69]

But, if you had a wife is it fair to her to call yourself totally straight? Im not implying anything and its ok to like both though.

Not sure how to explain the process that led me to the conclusion I was straight. How it happened or why, I honestly do not know, but at some point I lost all physical attraction to women. Maybe I never was. When I told my ex-wife what I was going through she was angry at first because she thought after years of problems that there was something wrong with her. Then she said she should have known, she asked on our honeymoon, after way too many mojitos, how I had gotten to be so good with women when I had been with so few. Evidently I said I just do what I would want done to me if I was a woman. I don't know about the women thing. My therapist though at first I might be a sociopath because I never miss anything or anyone. I have way, way, way too much empathy for that. Now she thinks, that because of my childhood, I have become a world champion at forgetting.
As for guys, what can I say? I didn't, now I do. I do know that me feeling like a woman inside and me wanting men are independent of each other. I know that being around a guy I find attractive makes me burn. I know that the thought of a guy touching me the way I am now makes me ill. Maybe if the guy I dated and tried to have sex with would have been more willing to be the man of the pairing, my transitioning would have been delayed a little, but not by much. It's not about sex, not for me anyway.
Everything inside my head is female, the man is gone. I have to remind myself a hundred times a day that the world doesn't see a girl when the look at me.
Which do I believe, the body or the brain?
Going with the brain,  I am FEMALE.
I am only attracted to MEN.
By definition, doesn't that make me straight?

[kelly_aus]

From an old woman. You find people who want you for who you are and accept you when you are not looking for them.

People are not attracted to the desperate, but to the confident.

You will find your lover one day and he/she will surprise you.

Mainly because lovers are surprising

A somewhat less old woman agrees completely.

Lovers often come at the most unexpected times and from the most unexpected places.

[emilyking]

While I'm starting to transition at 34, I kinda knew I liked boys at 20.  I guess not having the right parts didn't help.

I was never sexually attracted to boys or girls growing up.

It sucks, cause the sex I crave is the sex I can't have till after SRS.

[Cindy]

That's true, but men seem very visually focused.  I feel like I have to be insanely pretty, which I'm not, in order to attract a guy.  Because I'm trans I'm automatically put at a disadvantage when it comes to cis girls and need to almost give him a reason for choosing me over a different girl.  The sad fact is men may love the girl they are with, but they usually find her or give her a chance because of her looks.  It's usually the initial thing they notice and confidence is something I don't have yet.  At this stage, I feel very ugly, and since I'm andro, I will have attracting gay and straight men a like.  I can't help feeling lonely about it because of where I am.   I do get checked out here and there (which makes me feel both nice and creeped out) but I'm just in such a weird uncertain stage looks wise.  Let's face it, dating is hard when you're trans.  then again I haven't tried yet, so maybe I am worrying about nothing.

I met my guy at the gym, he was loading weights onto a machine for me because I was struggling. A coffee, a chat, a friendship. I was positively radiant with sweat running down my face, I'm sure I looked as sexy as ..........................no one.

It will happen Hon.

[latoya rayne]

Thank you for the answers I'm also a straight woman who has only liked men for as long as I can remember

[Veronica M]

If you're interested, a survey of trans women revealed an orientation split of about 23% straight, 31% bisexual, 29% lesbian, 7% queer, 7% asexual, 2% other.

Off the top of my head, I know that Heather is strictly into guys, Joanna, Tristan I believe? and maybe ZoeM? Basically, look for the young transitioners, those who transitioned in their teens and twenties. They are statistically more likely to be into guys, where older transitioners are more likely to be lesbian or bi.

I'm bisexual myself, so I'm just rattling off the names of people I know who I think are into guys.

Well being one of the older folk here I suppose I would have to say I am Bi sexual, but in a sense not really anymore. Sexually I have pretty much lost interest in women. I know once I am further along in my transition I will most likely be seeking a man, so its a toss up I guess.

[Lauren5]

Well being one of the older folk here I suppose I would have to say I am Bi sexual, but in a sense not really anymore. Sexually I have pretty much lost interest in women. I know once I am further along in my transition I will most likely be seeking a man, so its a toss up I guess.

I think I feel the same way. I still have the ability to find women attractive, and possibly could sustain a romantic relationship with one, however I wouldn't choose to do so, nor do I think I could have sex with one.

[Nero]

Societal acceptance of gender and sexual orientation has changed so much, that unless you were living in those times it is incomprehensible about how difficult it was to express yourself. A bit like being homosexual or TG in Uganda nowadays.

Yeah, even for me. A lot different when I was in high school. Nobody was out as gay or lesbian in my high school except one gay math teacher who constantly got crap for it. Gays were still mostly a joke around there.
I think one guy actually admitted being bi and that was like the shock of the century. But he belonged to the goth crowd, so... he was already wearing black lipstick...

Just depends on the time and place. Probably wouldn'tve changed much for me anyway. I can't imagine dating a girl back then. They were like a different species to me, hot but not very nice. lol
I guess it was just as well that I was a lot more comfortable with guys.

I wonder if the comfort level with birth sex and 'target' sex have anything to do with it. Like for me, I had guy friends, dated guys, etc. Girls just really weren't a part of my life unless they were related. I was just really awkward around them and they were just... not nice. To me, anyway.

I wonder if it was like that in reverse for some of the women here? (of course, this probably doesn't work unless you have some attraction to the sex opposite the one you're assigned.)

[JulieBlair]

Interesting...
I've been on the fringes of the theater community, the gay community, been married, and have been trying to discover both gender and sexuality for as long as I remember.  I love men, I love women.  Shoot, I sound like a bi slut which I don't think I am (the slut part).  Anyway right now my testosterone is at undetectable levels and I'm not much interested in much other than casual flirtation.  My endo cut my spiro dose in half, so perhaps libido will return and I'll have to figure this one out.  Not soon I hope.  I have too much work to do becoming me.
Julie

[Heather]

If you're interested, a survey of trans women revealed an orientation split of about 23% straight, 31% bisexual, 29% lesbian, 7% queer, 7% asexual, 2% other.

Off the top of my head, I know that Heather is strictly into guys, Joanna, Tristan I believe? and maybe ZoeM? Basically, look for the young transitioners, those who transitioned in their teens and twenties. They are statistically more likely to be into guys, where older transitioners are more likely to be lesbian or bi.

I'm bisexual myself, so I'm just rattling off the names of people I know who I think are into guys.

Well I would never label myself as straight that's just too boring. I'm actually bi my main physical attraction is with men when I see a good looking guy it just sets something off in my brain. But with women it's less of a physical attraction more of an emotional attraction.
And lately I've been more open to dating a woman because I'm friends with a number of lesbians who are in committed relationships. And seeing how lesbian relationships work I've been more open to being in one. Doesn't mean I'll end up in one but let's say I meet a woman who clicks with me at that emotional level I would be willing to go out with her. But I still like men and do picture myself being in a long term relationship with one. (Well a decent one!)
I will also put it out there that recently I've been more open to dating women because I'm more comfortable with the woman I am. Before I was thinking would people think me less of a woman for dating a woman. I'm actually also kinda scared to tell my family after they just gotten used to me being attracted to men. If I do end up say dating a woman I think I'll spring it on them after I get back from surgery. I'm thinking maybe they'll be so happy I'm alive they want mind me having a girlfriend lol.

[Ryan55]

I like chicks, so I consider my self straight

although in high school when I was in "fake girl mode", I did date a guy to "fit in" and asked him so many questions about his penis because I wanted one lol

[Nero]

That's true, but men seem very visually focused.  I feel like I have to be insanely pretty, which I'm not, in order to attract a guy.  Because I'm trans I'm automatically put at a disadvantage when it comes to cis girls and need to almost give him a reason for choosing me over a different girl.  The sad fact is men may love the girl they are with, but they usually find her or give her a chance because of her looks.  It's usually the initial thing they notice and confidence is something I don't have yet.  At this stage, I feel very ugly, and since I'm andro, I will have difficulty attracting gay and straight men a like.  I can't help feeling lonely about it because of where I am.   I do get checked out here and there (which makes me feel both nice and creeped out) but I'm just in such a weird uncertain stage looks wise.  Let's face it, dating is hard when you're trans.  then again I haven't tried yet, so maybe I am worrying about nothing.

There are definitely shallow guys. And for the most part, men do seem visually oriented first (hate to admit, I'm that way too). But if you look around, you'll see a ton of women in relationships who are just average, fat, plain, whatever. It's generally easy for women, pretty much any woman to attract a man. Sure, most men may dream of having the hottest thing out there (not just for him, but because it makes him look good). I won't lie, even as a bi trans guy, I have a fantasy girlfriend ideal.  But doesn't mean I'd expect that. And I doubt most guys do either. I really think you'll have no problem. 

PS I think you're absolutely adorable and will only improve as you go. I can't imagine you having any problem attracting a man or competing with other girls. But I am trying not to say this kind of thing too much, not to praise a girl's looks too much. Because I think in the end it has a detrimental effect. Makes them feel good at the moment, but just reinforces the relentless focus on a girl's flesh.

Mattie (may I call you Mattie?), you also have so many other attributes to offer. You are very kind, sensitive, and feminine. Any man would be very lucky to have you and I really hope you find one worthy of you someday. And I'm sure you will, honey. Don't worry. Listen to Cindy. 

[Nero]

I like chicks, so I consider my self straight

although in high school when I was in "fake girl mode", I did date a guy to "fit in" and asked him so many questions about his penis because I wanted one lol

Did you ask to see it? 

[Evolving Beauty]

I'm strictly straight trans women. I can't even stand ->-bleeped-<--->-bleeped-<-s despite they 'pretend' to be straight when what they want deep down inside is to touch ur effing d*** that you hate the most. I like ONLY 100% REAL straight men. My friend who is a trans lesbian tried to seduce me once, I felt so disgusted and told her to stop it.  And genetic girls neither do not interest me but for friendship everyone is welcome.

[noleen111]

Well when I started hrt, I was a lesbian and I transitioned the idea of dating a man stopped grossing me out... i eventually met a man and he became my boyfriend. we went out for about 9 months.. I was a little uncomfortable in the beginning, but as time went on I overcame my uncomfortableness.. I even slept with him.

Now i am post-op and single.. I want to be someones girlfriend again, and maybe even a wife. I really want to experience vaginal sex with a man.. it must be amazing to have him inside me.

but I am also attracted to women, maybe just lust.. i dunno so bi ??

[FrancisAnn]

I'm strictly straight trans women. I can't even stand ->-bleeped-<--->-bleeped-<-s despite they 'pretend' to be straight when what they want deep down inside is to touch ur effing d*** that you hate the most. I like ONLY 100% REAL straight men. My friend who is a trans lesbian tried to seduce me once, I felt so disgusted and told her to stop it.  And genetic girls neither do not interest me but for friendship everyone is welcome.

We are very much alike. I'm not sure about you but finding a 100% straight man was so difficult. They would say anything to meet & date then go "gay" on me. I threw them out the door. For a while a dated married men some. One's that wanted oral sex that their wife would not give to them. I'm not proud of dating a married man but at least the man was like you say 100% a man. It felt good really & some gave me some so nice anal sex. Good luck, girl friends.

[Ltl89]

There are definitely shallow guys. And for the most part, men do seem visually oriented first (hate to admit, I'm that way too). But if you look around, you'll see a ton of women in relationships who are just average, fat, plain, whatever. It's generally easy for women, pretty much any woman to attract a man. Sure, most men may dream of having the hottest thing out there (not just for him, but because it makes him look good). I won't lie, even as a bi trans guy, I have a fantasy girlfriend ideal.  But doesn't mean I'd expect that. And I doubt most guys do either. I really think you'll have no problem. 

PS I think you're absolutely adorable and will only improve as you go. I can't imagine you having any problem attracting a man or competing with other girls. But I am trying not to say this kind of thing too much, not to praise a girl's looks too much. Because I think in the end it has a detrimental effect. Makes them feel good at the moment, but just reinforces the relentless focus on a girl's flesh.

Mattie (may I call you Mattie?), you also have so many other attributes to offer. You are very kind, sensitive, and feminine. Any man would be very lucky to have you and I really hope you find one worthy of you someday. And I'm sure you will, honey. Don't worry. Listen to Cindy. 

Aww, thank you FA.   Maybe I worry too much, but it's just being trans makes things hard at times.  All girls have to live up to these beauty standards, and for mtfs it gets even more crippling because we are almost expected to pass really well and be beautiful despite the roadblocks.  This is especially true with straight girls that get even more pressure, at least that's how I see it.  Like we have so much more to prove and sadly much of that is done through our looks or it has the expectation to go that way.   I wish it were a little easier and I wouldn't have to constantly worry about how I look.  But thank you.  What you said really did cheer me up and made my day.

[Nero]

There are definitely shallow guys. And for the most part, men do seem visually oriented first (hate to admit, I'm that way too). But if you look around, you'll see a ton of women in relationships who are just average, fat, plain, whatever. It's generally easy for women, pretty much any woman to attract a man. Sure, most men may dream of having the hottest thing out there (not just for him, but because it makes him look good). I won't lie, even as a bi trans guy, I have a fantasy girlfriend ideal.  But doesn't mean I'd expect that. And I doubt most guys do either. I really think you'll have no problem. 

PS I think you're absolutely adorable and will only improve as you go. I can't imagine you having any problem attracting a man or competing with other girls. But I am trying not to say this kind of thing too much, not to praise a girl's looks too much. Because I think in the end it has a detrimental effect. Makes them feel good at the moment, but just reinforces the relentless focus on a girl's flesh.

Mattie (may I call you Mattie?), you also have so many other attributes to offer. You are very kind, sensitive, and feminine. Any man would be very lucky to have you and I really hope you find one worthy of you someday. And I'm sure you will, honey. Don't worry. Listen to Cindy. 

Aww, thank you FA.   Maybe I worry too much, but it's just being trans makes things hard at times.  All girls have to live up to these beauty standards, and for mtfs it gets even more crippling because we are almost expected to pass really well and be beautiful despite the roadblocks.  This is especially true with straight girls that get even more pressure, at least that's how I see it.  Like we have so much more to prove and sadly much of that is done through our looks or it has the expectation to go that way.   I wish it were a little easier and I wouldn't have to constantly worry about how I look.  But thank you.  What you said really did cheer me up and made my day.

Well, if I made you feel a little better, that makes my day too. And straight girls (and to a certain extent, gay men) do get more looks pressure. Not that women don't appreciate or want a good looking partner, but not quite as much as men generally. However, I think the thing a man most wants and needs from a woman is comfort. Often this comes in the form of sex, but also so much more. A woman who knows how to comfort a man and build him up - he will love her. Not only am I a man, I have been with lots of men. I have both been this for men and desired it myself as one. This was Delilah's secret (and yeah, she was probably hot. But she didn't have to be). (And maybe Cleopatra's. After all, she really wasn't a great beauty unlike this clip). A man will love a woman who lifts him up and makes him feel good about himself above one more 'hot' who doesn't do this as well.

[Evolving Beauty]

We are very much alike. I'm not sure about you but finding a 100% straight man was so difficult. They would say anything to meet & date then go "gay" on me. I threw them out the door. For a while a dated married men some. One's that wanted oral sex that their wife would not give to them. I'm not proud of dating a married man but at least the man was like you say 100% a man. It felt good really & some gave me some so nice anal sex. Good luck, girl friends.

To get it more extreme about my 'heterosexuality', sometimes I wouldn't like if a straight guy accepts me so easily knowing I am trans. I like the transphobic and super duper straight guys WHO DO NOT KNOW WHAT I AM and who I know in advance would reject me if they knew I am trans. IT GIVES ME MORE THRILL & EXCITEMENT! Only then I feel like a REAL woman and this feeds my soul so much I swear. 

There are different 'degrees' of straight guys most commonly the liberal ones who wouldnt mind dating and trans and the other traditional strict ones who'd never date a trans no matter how beautiful and passable she is DESPITE operated SRS. It's this type of straight guys I love hitting on.