A few problems with starting t

[Parkhockey27]

Alrighty guys I've got a hefty question here. My therapist just told me I'll be able to start t within this next week. Don't get me wrong I'm probably the happiest person on this earth right now but I have a few dilemmas. First, I play prepschool hockey in an all girls league. I was wondering if anyone knew if starting testosterone would effect this, such as it resulting in me being kicked off the team or worse? Or if my school could even find out I'm taking it? And second, I was wondering if It would be possible for me to maybe talk in a higher voice at school so no one really notices?(I dont talk much to begin with) And, yes I know there are big changes but i find the voice the most difficult to manuever around. I am not out to anyone at school and I'm not really close to anyone anyway. All my friends that know are outside of school. Switching schools, stopping sports, or holding off on t are not options. Im in 10th grade and once I get into college nothing will be a problem. Anyone have any advice??

[supremecatoverlord]

I would say if your all girls team found out you were taking hormones, you might be kicked off the team, and if the school is liberal enough, they might let you compete on the men's team. Being that testosterone is technically also used by athletes as anabolic steroid, you will have a bit of an unfair advantage against your female counterparts in terms of how easy it is for you to build and maintain muscle.

My advice is not to worry about the short term much and worry about the long term. If you believe making this decision is your life right now is going to make you happiest with yourself moving forward, then it is what you should do, minor problems aside.

[TRyan]

Alrighty guys I've got a hefty question here. My therapist just told me I'll be able to start t within this next week. Don't get me wrong I'm probably the happiest person on this earth right now but I have a few dilemmas. First, I play prepschool hockey in an all girls league. I was wondering if anyone knew if starting testosterone would effect this, such as it resulting in me being kicked off the team or worse? Or if my school could even find out I'm taking it? And second, I was wondering if It would be possible for me to maybe talk in a higher voice at school so no one really notices?(I dont talk much to begin with) And, yes I know there are big changes but i find the voice the most difficult to manuever around. I am not out to anyone at school and I'm not really close to anyone anyway. All my friends that know are outside of school. Switching schools, stopping sports, or holding off on t are not options. Im in 10th grade and once I get into college nothing will be a problem. Anyone have any advice??

That's a tough situation. I can tell that playing hockey is important to you. However, I don't think it will be possible to hide the changes on T. My guess is that by Fall it will all be noticeable.  Do you trust your coach? I wonder if talking to him or her in confidence would be useful?  That way it might give both you and them time to figure out how to handle the situation.  Like the previous poster said it might not be possible to continue playing in an all girls league while on T.

I don't know about talking in a higher voice---that might help some but the other changes will make people wonder. 

Congrats on getting the okay to start T. But it does put you in a difficult situation. Keep us posted. 

[Ayden]

I cab only speak to talking in a higher voice. (Pun not intended). I tried but now, it's impossible. I can raise my voice pitch but it's a far cry from feminine. In fact my voice was the first thing that got me pegged as male when I was in my androgynous phases. If your voice is relatively deep, it may not be a problem. I used the "I have a cold" excuse for a while until I was ready to tell people. But, you can only "have a cold" for so long.

Physically, I changed a lot after T and I can't tell you how my classmates would have reacted. I graduated from university shortly after I started hormones.

[runningbrave]

I'm so jealous  i wish i was starting T ,what about facial hair and things like that won't they notice

[Bimmer Guy]

Parkhockey,  not to be a downer, but you really should discuss all this with therapist prior to starting T.  Part of his/her role as a gender therapist is to go through all of this and come up with a plan PRIOR to you starting T, so that things go smoothly and you can plan how to respond to things.

It is true that you cannot hide your changes, so you need to figure out how to come out and transition at school.  The best approach is to meet with the administrators and plan for when you want to start being called by your correct name.  Your teachers need some education so that they can support you.  You need to work with them about which bathroom you are going to use and have a plan for that.  This is not something that can be hidden.  I have known guys who voices have dropped a bit after their first shot.

With all this said, since it is the end of the school year, you may be able to get away with not saying anything at school and plan for next year.

I would suspect that you won't be able to stay on the hockey team.  You will have an unfair advantage.  You need to look into playing on the boy's team.  You are going to have to talk to your coach.

Will your guardian(s) help you navigate the process of dealing with the school and the hockey team?  This would be very hard to do alone.

You may want to consider a more competent gender therapist who will help you plan for this process.  Sorry, it ticks me off that they are not working with you around the above.  It is their responsibility as a gender therapist to look ahead for you and help you plan how to approach these things.  Even if they are not a self defined "gender therapist", they should be competent enough to realize that they need to work with a person with moving through this process.

Maybe you want to have a few more sessions before you start T.  Even delaying it by a few weeks will get you through the rest of the school year.  Then you will for certain have the summer to plan how to speak with the school about the Fall.  You can also use those few sessions to talk about what it will be like to no longer be able to play hockey with the girl's league.  I am sure this will be a big loss for you.  Use the sessions to figure out how to tell your coach.

Good luck.

[Declan.]

You should be able to get through until summer break without anyone noticing the changes to the point where you'll be taken off the team. You will have some changes over the next couple of months, but they'll be minor. I'm afraid to say I don't think there's any way you'll be able to stay on the team next year, though.

[Parkhockey27]

Thanks everyone for your feedback! It seems like I'm unfortunately going to have to hold back on t till the beginning of senior year. Since I'll be forced to play girls hockey at this school, and I need to be at this school to get into my dream college starting t will have to be second on my priority list. Thanks again for all your advice!

[StormOfThorns]

Yea, as I have learned so far = just be. Do they need to know what is going on? I say don't say anything until they mention something. Why do they need to know your personal issues? Honestly, I am tired of binaries. This age is about moving beyond the 2 and moving onto the infinite. Basically, don't worry about it until it is time to. You cause yourself unnecessary stress otherwise. Just be. Worrying is common, but honestly, changes by testosterone are varying. You wont know until you are on it yourself how fast it will effect you. None of us can dictate. Similar experiences, to me, are... only let it out unless it needs to be. A few months on T could lower your voice or not, even cis-males take years to drop, lol my fav example is Ralph Macchio. Don't worry til it comes. And when that does come, we can be here to help.

[Sebryn]

Yea, as I have learned so far = just be. Do they need to know what is going on? I say don't say anything until they mention something. Why do they need to know your personal issues? Honestly, I am tired of binaries. This age is about moving beyond the 2 and moving onto the infinite. Basically, don't worry about it until it is time to. You cause yourself unnecessary stress otherwise. Just be. Worrying is common, but honestly, changes by testosterone are varying. You wont know until you are on it yourself how fast it will effect you. None of us can dictate. Similar experiences, to me, are... only let it out unless it needs to be. A few months on T could lower your voice or not, even cis-males take years to drop, lol my fav example is Ralph Macchio. Don't worry til it comes. And when that does come, we can be here to help.

The reason the OP can't neglect to tell officials about his hormone use is because of the strict rules about using steroids in competitive sports. Hockey is one of these. I played when I was younger also and can understand the OP's decision. If you neglect to tell officials about the hormone use you can lose everything and damage your entire team's reputation, potentially lose trophies, and lose any and all scholarships/grants for school you gained through playing. Not to mention get kicked off the team, usually with the reason why listed for other coaches and schools to see. They won't list the use as legal because of a prescription because T will provide an unfair advantage when playing in the women's league. So it is considered to be illegal by competitive sports UNLESS the person is diagnosed with gender dysphoria, is being treated by a licensed practitioner and transfers to the team that most suits the gender they are intending to transition to.


Some good news for the OP though is that in college, so long as you choose the correct one, it is possible for you to play on the mens team if you make the cut. I personally started playing for co-ed teams outside of school, but this isn't for everyone. Co-Ed teams are normally as evenly split as possible when playing against another team. All of the co-ed teams I have knowledge of aren't competitive in the same sense as a school team, just for fun usually. Sadly we moved to a state that hockey isn't a well know or played sport (too hot) so I haven't played in years. Keep your chin up Parkhockey27 

[aleon515]

I agree with the concept that you may be emotionally (way past) ready to start T, but not actually ready in that in your mind none of the options which anybody could suggest are an option. The thing is that all your dreams are understandable. I esp agree with Brett I think the therapist should be helping you with these things, and if they aren't because you aren't talking about it, you need to. ANd if they aren't because your therapist isn't aware of this stuff, they aren't competent as a gender therapist (though maybe otherwise).

On a full dose of T, your body is going to be more like a male body in a few months (at least in terms of strength and muscle development). So playing as a girl on a full dose of T is not really fair, beyond say maybe 3 months or so. You aren't going to be able to hide your changes, as I am guessing you will change quickly at your age which seems not quite adult. 

Do your parents have excellent health insurance? I think blockers *might* be an option, though I don't know re: someone who is clearly well into puberty. They would stop your period and stop the changes. But they are upwards of $12K a year. Blockers block the female puberty, but since you are several years into puberty, they wouldn't fully work.


--Jay

[Jack_M]

I do a lot of working out and sports and T makes a huge difference, very fast. In just a month I was able to do lift heavier weights, and do more pull ups and pushups and MUCH better than I've ever done my whole life doing them - deeper pushups and higher, slower, more controlled pullups. I used to be quite annoyed at the concept of men and women not being able to compete against each other but now I realise just how much difference it makes, it hits you when you actually experience it. In one month I got about 200% better at things I've been doing since I was a child. I'm not saying all guys are stronger than girls but with the same training the guy has a major advantage and will be much, much stronger.

So yeah, if you have to play hockey, you can't take T, but get yourself all set to go once that's over and done with so you can dive in and give yourself something to focus on. Eye on the prize! :-)

[aleon515]

I do a lot of working out and sports and T makes a huge difference, very fast. In just a month I was able to do lift heavier weights, and do more pull ups and pushups and MUCH better than I've ever done my whole life doing them - deeper pushups and higher, slower, more controlled pullups. I used to be quite annoyed at the concept of men and women not being able to compete against each other but now I realise just how much difference it makes, it hits you when you actually experience it. In one month I got about 200% better at things I've been doing since I was a child. I'm not saying all guys are stronger than girls but with the same training the guy has a major advantage and will be much, much stronger.

This is true. I'm an older guy and I could never do a regular push up. I wasn't read at all as male at a month or two but each month I continued to be able to do more regular push ups. I had been working out for a few months and never showed any benefit. I started T and my muscles started to show and I have definition. I didn't get 200% stronger but I rather quickly went up in the amt of repetitions and amt of weight I could lift easily. I agree that it's unfair for trans men to compete as women. There are also women a few women, who for whatever reason are stronger than the average guy, perhaps they have a higher natural T level, I don't know.


--Jay

[Arch]

If the current hockey season is over, you can start T fairly quickly after discussing it more with your therapist. You would then have several months to transition and investigate switching teams (pun intended) before the next school year starts.

But it looks like you have already decided to wait.

On the other hand, if you already have the go-ahead, you can make an awesome long-term plan, start T at the most advantageous moment possible, and maybe even start college with a new name and changed gender marker, if that is your preference.

But I'm not sure how hockey figures into your long-term plan. Do you plan to play hockey in college?

[aleon515]

More good points from Arch. I also had another thought. HS teams are occassionally testing kids for "steroid abuse" and some big schools have very big testing programs. . I don't know if little low visibility sport  like girl's hockey would get such attention, but if you started T and continued to play you might run into problems. Otherwise, I am pretty sure you could end the school year. I started T in March and didn't have anyone even notice for months. But I started very low dose, which is an option too.

The other thing, which I haven't seen anybody mention. If you have a letter from your therapist,  I'm guessing if you don't have an appointment or prescription in hand it is going to take anywhere between 1-4 months to get one, depending on who you can see as a doctor. An endocrinologist is going to take several months to see, and your own PHP is going to be the fastest. Then you get the blood tests and so on. But I am talking 1-4 for the whole thing from getting in to blood test to getting the prescription filled.

--Jay