This is going to be my longest post ever. I am not too sure where to put it as it is all over the map for topics.
The doctor I see for trans is the only one in the medical network I deal with that handles trans. She is a Professor of Psychiatry in the Medical School of the University I work for. She is the one that will be handing HRT. She is also a transwoman; that is not a relevant point except for one thing that pops down near the end of this epistle in the "Ugly" section.
She has challenged me to do some social transitioning - basically cross dressing and going places - as that does not carry the health risks that medical transitioning would for someone with my health issues. So, I took this as a challenge to show up for yesterday's office visit fully "dressed." For a seasoned cross dresser I probably didn't make much of a splash, but for me this was pushing to the outer edge.
I wore shoes with heels, these gave me about two inches more lift than the other women's shoes I have been able to be comfortable with. This took a good bit of practice to be able to walk in them and not look the total klutz that I am. Yesterday was the first time out in public with them.
I wore a black leather suit with a "pencil" skirt. This was in the largest women's plus size that I can find anything somewhat stylish - and I could only wear that because I have recently dropped 25 pounds. So calling the skirt "pencil" as in the catalog is a bit of a euphemism. The skirt went a bit below the knee and was the most daring I have tried to date or probably intend to at my age.
The skirt and heels forced me to shave my very hairy legs and get some sheer tights. So we rack up another first.
The outfit needed a white blouse, so I got one. This forced me to break out the iron to get the wrinkles out of it.
I got as close a shave as I dared and went for my second try at makeup. For foundation I used a real "cover" base, then I blended other stuff to make the color match the rest of my face. A wee bit of mascarra, and lipstick and I was tuckered out on that.
The ensemble included a nice wig and some accesories. Then another first - I put on nail polish. The only time I have ever used polish in the past was on my youngest granddaughter when she was three - and it looked like a three year old did it...
So now Erin leaves the house in full Erin form.
Going into the doctor's office involved me interacting with people in my female form. This is where we get to the good, the bad, and the UGLY.
The Good:
The receptionist was pleasant and made me feel comfortable. She took a note to make sure I was called Erin rather than my male name.
I sat in a corner of the waiting room and read a wee bit. A mother and little boy came in. I had made a mistake and sat near the table with toys for kids, and the little one went right to it. His mother came and supervised him. To my vast relief neither took any notice of me. Success, Erin blended harmlessly into the background and did not get clocked by a little kid!
When I was in the exam room the doctor came in, stepped back, and exclaimed "You're beautiful!" She went on to say she would not have recognised me with all the change in just one month since the last visit.
I now have a prescription for Finisteride. A start, given my medical issues a start is all I can hope for.
The person in check out was pleasant and made me feel comfortable as well - but she did make sure and get the $20 copay.
The Bad:
The nurse that took me back and got vitals declined to call me Erin and called me in the waiting room by my last name. This was a bit of an "ouch."
The passive aggressive continued and escalated resulting in my weight including the shoes. She alternated between loudly calling me one of the ladies and treating me like, I know not what.
Once in the exam room she wanted me to climb onto the exam table to take blood pressure. There is a narrow step and then the table is still rather high. Usually patients are helped up and down to avoid any risk of falling. Well, no help. The heels set my equilibrium off a bit but gave me some extra height that I needed to get onto the table in a somewhat graceful manner.
The UGLY:
As the nurse left the exam room she said (about the doctor) HE will be in shortly. The deliberate misgendering sort of shocked me. Most of the cis people I know consider that to be flat out rude. In a professional environment, that is WAY out of place.
The blood pressure apparatus used was a manual sphygmomanometer out of some past century, so it takes some technique to use and is still a bit subjective. I take BP often and know how to use the equipment, and I know how my pulse feels during the process and can estimate with some accuracy what the reading is from watching the gauge. Well, this sweet heart of a nurse got readings about fifteen to twenty units high - or about as hard as one can lean their thumb on the scale with that sort of equipment and pretend they got honest readings.
My BP was up a bit over what it usually runs with all the circumstances and the way this nurse was treating me - but that would only have been enough to take it up to normal. I do NOT need to be over medicated. Later (after I changed back to drab) I ran errands and went shopping. As I got out of the car at one store I had to hang onto it for a bit to regain my balance after my BP went way low as I stood up. AARGH!
So, all in all it was pretty mixed. I didn't get clocked by a little kid, and I did get Finisteride - so there are good points.
An adventure!
Erin
