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A perspective from Cindy

Started by Cindy, April 24, 2014, 06:44:40 AM

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barbie

Quote from: Cindy on April 24, 2014, 06:44:40 AM
I have been thinking of resigning. Both as a Mod and a member.

My transition is over. My surgery is booked. I am a healthy happy woman.

I am .............happy.

Jeez that has taken a life time to say. And Oh my Goddess the journey. How did I survive?

I did.

I have been told by some ex staff what a horrible person I am.

I will agree, I am very flawed.

I offer no excuses. I offer no explanations.
To say may past was bad is an understatement, but that is no excuse for my present.

I will stay, if you want me too, I will leave if you want me to.

I am Cindy, I walk my path.

I shall walk it alone or hand in hand

Your choice

With Sadness

Cindy

Cindy, good luck for your journey!
BTW, I am taking a difference course.

barbie~~
Just do it.
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helen2010

Cindy

We haven't met but I count you as a valuable coach, mentor and source of wise counsel.   Friend and inspiration to many I suspect that you don't realise just how many lives you have touched and just how much you would be missed.   We are the richer for having spent time with you.  Go with our blessing or stay with our thanks.  While you deserve to chart your own course, from a selfish perspective please stick around if only coz it's Anzac Day and us ex servos need you.

Aisla
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DriftingCrow

Only leave or retire if you truly want to Cindy.

Not everyone will agree with your moderator calls, not everyone will like you personally, not everyone will agree with all your posts, but that's why there's more than one moderator.

You girls on the mod crew should be working together, evaluating each other, and improving together. If you think there's a problem, maybe take a short vacation to think things over, and then get back working with the team to implement a solution. Resigning doesn't always solve problems.
ਮਨਿ ਜੀਤੈ ਜਗੁ ਜੀਤੁ
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MadelineB

Cindy we can always become part of the problem, part of the solution, or part of the precipitate. I trust your chemistry and your humanity.

I believe Susan's isn't just about transition. I had already transitioned fully when I joined. Community and connection, and the opportunity to contribute to the well being of others is why I came and stayed.

I am saddened that I have repeatedly witnessed wounded helpers and vulnerable volunteers give in to stress, past trauma / triggers, substance issues, and mental illness flareups, and turn on each other causing lasting wounds. I don't end friendships because my friends get hurt and hurt one another. I do and have called them on it, the ones who I am close enough to that I can make a difference. I trust that loving big sisters like you will take care of the ones who don't open up to me.

Eventually my support for suffering souls and my empathetic words will be misunderstood by someone with authority who has been wounded too deeply to trust any more and I will be out on my ear then. Until that day I will keep befriending and trying to encourage trans and queer people through this site, and for the rest of my life to anyone that I can.

I can mediate and I can heal, but I am too sensitive an empath to be able to spend the hours you do.

If you ask me, there should be a regular program of planned as well as unplanned sabatticals for staff, to remove the stigma for those who need to take indefinitely long breaks for self care or personal development. You shouldn't have to break and feel like a failure to take a week a month or a year off. Burn out is real.

Love you, you tough, brash, vulnerable, softspoken woman of fire and steel.
History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.
~Maya Angelou

Personal Blog: Madeline's B-Hive
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Cindy

Love you, you tough, brash, vulnerable, softspoken woman of fire and steel.

Can I have that as my signature? :o :laugh:

Oh you dear dear people.

You sure know how to bring a girl to tears.

I feel humbled and blessed  to be your friend.
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Jenny07

Now that's better Cindy
Don't make us all be nice and sweet again. :)

Hugs but not to tight. Ouch.

QuoteYou sure know how to bring a girl to tears.

Chopping Onion also works! :laugh:
So long and thanks for all the fish
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Heather

Quote from: Cindy on April 24, 2014, 06:37:56 PM
I was feeling that I was the 'problem' that has troubled the site.

I received a post that made me realise that I am not.

I may, possibly, maybe, be part of the solution.

I want to make something very clear.

I love you all; you saved me from my past.
If in any way I can help another, I shall do so.

My arms are always open; as is my heart.

My love, thanks and deepest respect.

Cindy
I'm glad to hear your going to stick around this place wouldn't be the same without you Cindy. :)
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TerriT

I just want you and Jamie to work things out. I don't really care about admin/mod status.
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Rachel85

I can safely say that not many people have helped me in my transition as much as you Cindy.
For that I am and always will be deeply grateful to you and that there are people like you out there and on here.

You are an asset to the site and would be truly missed, look at the three pages of posters before me :)

It is completely your choice but as someone once told me, don't let other make your decisions for you and always be yourself.

It's your choice honey, but if I had a vote I'd say please don't go :)
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ToniB

Cindy you are one of the stabilising and cofidence building blocks that this site is built on and excells at .I always find your advice and insight very valuable .Please stay

Anita Brown
The girl inside is just as important expecially to Yourself :)
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Sandy

Cindy:

If you leave, who would be left to be a role model for those who come after us?

Yes, my dear, you are a role model.  You were my role model during my transition, and for that I'm thankful.  I'm glad you are staying.

You are one of the fixtures that I look forward to seeing when I come here.

Thank you.

-Sandy
Out of the darkness, into the light.
Following my bliss.
I am complete...
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Satinjoy

Quote from: Cindy on April 24, 2014, 06:37:56 PM
I love you all; you saved me from my past.
If in any way I can help another, I shall do so.

My arms are always open; as is my heart.

My love, thanks and deepest respect.

Cindy

Well I guess I can finally stop crying.  A whole day of it.  I never expected that.
What was it out of the Transamerica Flick?  At the end - the intense crying scene - it hurts..... thats what hearts do...

Stay my dear, stay, and be loved.  ;)
Morpheus: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the red pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the little blue pills - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes

Sh'e took the little blue ones.
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luna nyan

Cindy,

You've been a great support and role model for many on these forums.
To be so, means that you give a lot out of yourself and that can be tiring, especially if you don't feel appreciated and supported in return.

I think the vast majority of people appreciate what you do here, even if you don't often hear it.  The question is whether you're tired or not.
If you are, take a step back, you can always jump back in.  Your journey may be coming to it's conclusion, but there are many still finding their way who will appreciate your voice, even if you decide to leave staff.  As a human being, we are all flawed, in one way or another.

For me personally, this place wouldn't be the same without you around, even though we haven't really interacted directly much at all.
Drifting down the river of life...
My 4+ years non-transitioning HRT experience
Ask me anything!  I promise you I know absolutely everything about nothing! :D
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CindyCD

Cindy, my respect for you is immense! Like many here, I have had difficulty and anxiety facing the world. I felt very alone until I came here, people like yourself are like a light in the darkness. I no longer feel ashamed of who I am. As you have seen from the other posts, you would be greatly missed. Follow your heart, if you want to step down from moderating then do so. I hope you stay as a member, though.

Extra great big hugs!! :icon_hug:
Gloria
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MadeleineG

You bring tremendous knowledge, a balanced perspective, and near-boundless compassion. I look up to you, I respect you, and I admire you. I hope you ultimately elect to stay. I'm confident that most on the site feel the same.

Your departure would leave a tremendous void.

That being said, if and when you choose to move on with your life, there will only be three things to say: thank you, we love you, and we wish you happiness.
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Shana-chan

It is your life and your choice Cindy but for what it's worth, while I don't know you that well, every post I've read of yours has been fair, decent and nice. Stay I say. :)
"Denial will get people no where."
"Don't look to the here & now but rather, to the unknown future & hope on that vs. the here & now."
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Bombadil

I am glad you are staying. We haven't talked but I hope to some day get to know you better. I could use some big sisters in my life. I know there are issues here, but having been part of other forums and life in general I know that happens. There is a lot of love, honesty, support and consistency here. You are doing good work.







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Robyn

Cindy, your path is like no other. We can say that of all of us... like no other.

But you are mistaken if you think it's all over once one has surgery. No, that is just one more step in the journey. There will be new lessons, new experiences, and with each one you will have that much more you can share with those who come behind you.

I'm a Chat person and don't follow all the Forums ins and outs, but having had my surgery 15 years ago in early June, I can say that I've never stopped learning and never stopped sharing.

Listen to that inner voice but know that you will always be a valuable member here and will only bring more to share as time goes on.

Me ka mahalo

Robyn
Kupuna ikaika o Maui
When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly. — Patrick Overton
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Felix

I haven't tried chat lately. Now that I have a fancy pc maybe I should.

Maybe you can officially decide to stay and then just wander away when you need to? Like I do? I don't always need this site, and when I do I sometimes bumble in and get a facefull of suicide, but I'm not like gone for real and for good. You could take breaks so you stay sane, and come back and mod when you are up for it. Everyone would appreciate the oversight and advice, even weirdos who listen to cats more than you silly humans.

My "show unread posts" seems to be a little linearity-challenged, now that I scroll back. If I missed the boat on the entreaties for you to stay, then cheerio and best wishes. You have always been super important and your old posts will continue to matter. :)
everybody's house is haunted
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