I'm glad I didn't transition earlier because...

[Arch]

People still occasionally tell me that I am lucky because I know what it's like to live "both" ways or that I know what it's like to be a woman.

If either of those were true, I probably wouldn't have needed to transition. Sure, there's an array of male experiences that are fairly typical, and there's a bunch of female experiences that might be considered typical...but I have never lived either one of those arcs.

I'll also admit that living as a woman has given me insights that most men probably don't have, but I can't possibly know what it's like to be a woman. One of my biggest problems throughout my life was that I completely DIDN'T understand what it was like to be a woman. That's why I always felt so out of place and earned more than a few raised eyebrows.

I guess I know what it's like to be treated as a woman, but I sometimes experienced that strangely, too, because I didn't come across as typical. Sometimes, people didn't know WHAT to do with me.

I would have loved to escape most or all of that, but I suppose the experiences and insights I have now are uniquely mine because I didn't transition early. I might as well own them.

[Carol Chastleton]

Interesting comments & insights from y'all.  I respect everyone's transition choices and I can only only say that the path I followed was the right one for me and has worked out quite well.  I started transition the summer that I was 19 - basically just barged into the world as who I knew myself to be, without benefit of legit hormones or legal documentation (you could get away with that back then).  I wouldn't trade that magical time for anything.  I was young, fearless, pretty and on my own in the big city.  Unfortunately my journey did take me on some dangerous & disastrous detours but it's all part of who I am.  I also had some spectacular romances & affairs with some amazing men along the way.  And now here I am nearly 41 years later, a 60 year old well-respected female executive in a high profile career & very well known in the local business community ... that is not aware of my origins.  Works for me, and I like it.

Best,
Carol 

[AdamMLP]

My first experience with being out to a training provider/employer has been amazing.

People here have taken it better that I thought they would, probably because they already know me.  If I'd done it when I first knew them they'd probably think of me just as a trans person, now I'm me, who now happens to be known as Alex.

I'm out of my parents house and got accommodation lined up for me for at least another two years.

[emilyking]

While there are some interesting points, I would give anything to be able go back and transition earlier.
The thought of having sex with a girl was such a gross thought, but then again I'm asexual.
I feel after surgery I can finally have sex.

[Jeatyn]

Interesting thread; and I pretty much feel the same way as FA. I very much enjoyed my years of being able to just pick any guy I wanted and go for it.

My childhood was crappy, I couldn't have transitioned then even if I wanted to. My life was purely focused on survival

Early teens, school...eugh no, I can't think of anything worse than transitioning during secondary school. I got my ass beat on a daily basis just for being a goth.

Late teens when I moved out on my own was when I started to question my identity - it was also the first time I had the chance to explore the world around me properly and experience things. I had a lot of fun being young free and single. I still carried on my lifestyle when I started to transition but it was a lot harder and involved way more effort than just going to a club and picking a target.

Then of course I got pregnant which would have been way less likely to happen if I had been an early transitioner, that lead to me moving and meeting the guy I'm with now...I couldn't picture my life without him at this point.

I've made up for my lost male youth by going back to college, so I'm getting the socilisation and getting to act like a teenager again. Then I come home and I'm a grown up with a family. The only thing missing from my "male experience" is the dating....which I am actually REALLY glad I don't have to worry about. It's probably also helping my studies because knowing past me I would have slept with half the student body by now given half the chance xD My class is 100% straight dudes....I've pondered how it would have turned out if I had gone into this class as the only girl.

I've never given much weight to things like destiny and "everything happens for a reason" but the way my life played out to get me to this point seems pretty perfect  wouldn't give up the journey or the destination for anything

[Ms Grace]

Certainly  had the chance to transition early and didn't end up taking it. I think I'm happy to be doing it now because, unlike twenty years ago, I feel a lot more emotionally stable. Plus I'm in a good place - financially and with work and support and relationships - I know nothing lasts forever, but I feel I got myself to the best place possible to transition this time unlike the total f@#$ up it was unfolding as in 1991.

[eggy_nog]

I came SO UNBELIEVABLY close to telling a family member about me being trans when I was about 14. I was too shy and embarrassed and afraid of what the rest of the family would say. I am now 20, having come out to the rest of the family (and friends) february last year, and went full time at 19. Despite the fact that I could MAYBE  have transitioned earlier, I think it would have been quite disastrous. The way things have turned out now are amazing, and I really can't ask for more. I guess I'm just lucky, but I don't truly feel any regret at not saying something more previously. Also I realise that the difference is only a few years, and I am still very young for transitioning, but I guess could have missed out on puberty. But now I've frozen sperm and can have kids in the future! I really can't complain 

[jussmoi4nao]

I woulda basically been a baby considering I was like 17 when I started the whole process. I have enough self doubt as it is from not getting to live as male.

Like the above, I had a chance to come out earlier and very nearly did. I found out my sister was gay/genderqueer and a a very, very involved activist in the LGBT community when I was age 11 or 12 and very nearly told her I wanted to be female when she came back to live with us. That really could have changed my life honestly...not sure how but she had many friends who were trans and committed suicide because of their family. And I know that once I open up I get my way. And seeing how far my mom has come now...I'll always wonder.

I didn't go to school, either, so there wouldn't have been those negative effects. And everyone thought I was a girl anyway at the time. But I still don't regret it, strangely enough...

[Arch]

I firmly believe that most trans* people who are depressed should be given a chance to start transition before the depression is fully under control. If gender issues are causing the depression or most of it, then holding off until the depression is under control does no earthly good at all.

In my case, though...maybe it's better that I didn't go ahead and transition earlier. I had one really crippling depressive episode well before transition, and one after. If I hadn't had the experience of bootstrapping myself out of the first one, I might not have made it through the second one. It was a near thing.