What made you happy today?, for MTF members please

[Wednesday]

I was in shock, totally stunned. I guess I would call that a pass? Why, yes I would.

Nope. I would call it "u rocking it", seriously.

[pollypagan]

I was in shock, totally stunned. I guess I would call that a pass? Why, yes I would.

And the gold medal goes to.........

[akegia]

I was in shock, totally stunned. I guess I would call that a pass? Why, yes I would.

Yep, Keep rocking it Girl!!!

For me a new-ish friend saw me in Girl Mode for the first time and said I have the legs of a model. Made me smile.

[ImagineKate]

Thanks. I am really happy now. I feel as though I know what I need to do to pass properly now and as long as I stick to the plan I'm good. It helps that my hair is a decent length, but still short. By summer I should have a good length. I may even push my fill time date at work up a bit if I have confidence about completely passing (which really isn't an issue at work but I would like to.)

[pollypagan]

  By summer I should have a good length.  .)

A sad reflection on me that this made me giggle.

[Kellam]

I was feeling a bit low the last couple days so I took myself shopping this morning. I went to the hipster thrift store that I had bought women's pants at by accident (I think I subconsciously knew) when I was deep in the closet. I went in those very same pants, my pink baseball cap and my new pink and black trail running shoes. I allowed myself to hang out and shop like I always do. Now I have two more pairs of pants that could pass for men's if you don't look too close. I needed them for work, so I could feel more comfy untill I'm ready to tell everyone. Let 'em guess! The changing rooms are unisex at that shop so nobody hassled me. I also got a cute pair of skinny black jeans and a nice plaid blouse, I might be able to swing them too but they'll take more courage. Or whatever. But they made me feel better, the jeans are a six! I thought I was an eight. The best part was at checkout. The clerk was a pleasant young woman who rang me up with no reaction, until she saw my credit card then she got a bit awkward. I think I might have been passing! With my hat on, freshly shaved and my winter coat I guess I slipped by for a bit. I wasn't trying! Of course it could all be in my head too and she was just a nice clerk. Either way, I feel better...

Congrats on your actual passing ImagineKate!

[ImagineKate]

What is most amazing about this whole incident is that I wasn't really dressed hyper feminine or anything. Just jeans, and not even really tight ones (size 6 though), a v neck, a (women's) fleece I got for $5 on clearance and my short winter coat. I did have very light makeup on. Also I wasn't constantly worried about passing. In fact most of the time I was keeping the kids out of mischief... Something to keep in my notebook, I guess.

I also bought a manhattan bag from Woot last week, hopefully I should get it soon. This will double as my handbag. I can keep my iPad and stuff in it too. I dumped my old beaten up guy wallet and I use a pocketbook now.

[ImagineKate]

I was feeling a bit low the last couple days so I took myself shopping this morning. I went to the hipster thrift store that I had bought women's pants at by accident (I think I subconsciously knew) when I was deep in the closet. I went in those very same pants, my pink baseball cap and my new pink and black trail running shoes. I allowed myself to hang out and shop like I always do. Now I have two more pairs of pants that could pass for men's if you don't look too close. I needed them for work, so I could feel more comfy untill I'm ready to tell everyone. Let 'em guess! The changing rooms are unisex at that shop so nobody hassled me. I also got a cute pair of skinny black jeans and a nice plaid blouse, I might be able to swing them too but they'll take more courage. Or whatever. But they made me feel better, the jeans are a six! I thought I was an eight. The best part was at checkout. The clerk was a pleasant young woman who rang me up with no reaction, until she saw my credit card then she got a bit awkward. I think I might have been passing! With my hat on, freshly shaved and my winter coat I guess I slipped by for a bit. I wasn't trying! Of course it could all be in my head too and she was just a nice clerk. Either way, I feel better...

Congrats on your actual passing ImagineKate!

Hey, small steps will get you there! Congrats on being brave and being yourself.

Clothes shopping helped with my dysphoria quite a lot. It was nice to go pick out stuff and try it on. Oh yes I did try it on. I used the men's fitting rooms at first then just said screw it, use the women's. No questions at all. Occasional weird looks but no questions or challenges.

I used to be 8 but now I'm 6 but I don't know what I will end up. I don't want to be ultra thin, I want a cute butt and to be a bit curvy. Not plus size but just average size. HRT, diet and exercise has basically taken inches off my waist very quickly.

[Lynne]

I was happy that I could go out as a woman in the morning without too much preparation to get some stuff from the shop. If I could reach a presentable state in 10 minutes on a worse day too that would be even greater.

[ImagineKate]

Good God my wife now complains I take too long to get ready in the morning...

"You are such a woman! Taking longer to get ready than me!"

[Kellam]

I finally got a full night's sleep. If I didn't have to wake up for work I would have slept even longer. I think I need to lay off drinking coffee past noon. The best part was an old recurring dream came back. The action centers around the house where I grew up. My family is all there and I'm just never able to tell them how I feel. I would always wake up before it could happen. The dream was full of anger and frustration. This time though, I got to tell them and they still loved me. I can't wait to get to do the same here in the waking world! ...this is reality, right?

[jeni]

Just saw that my insurance is covering the Factor V Leiden blood test I got before starting hrt. I figured it would be, but it was "pending" for long enough that I was starting to worry. Much nicer to be responsible for $4.52 than $290.

[Jessie Ann]

Waking up and seeing some of my facial hair is gone after having a 2hr electrolysis session yesterday.

Oh, there is also that little thing of going to the Dr. today to get my first injection of E to start HRT   

[ImagineKate]

A mostly smooth face after this morning's shower, cleanse and hydration. I didn't even shave today. looked in the mirror and had to try hard to find a guy in there.

[ImagineKate]

Waking up and seeing some of my facial is gone after having a 2hr electrolysis session yesterday.

Oh, there is also that little thing of going to the Dr. today to get my first injection of E to start HRT   

Congrats girl!!!

[Dodie]

This from my son! I got it last night with a beautiful drawing..
I drew for you. I haven't done any artwork like this in at least 10 years so my skills aren't perfect, but this is my representation of your struggle and strength to go fourth with your transition. To me it represents hiding and turmoil in the middle like a black hole in your soul hiding, but then keeps courageously reaching out to the outside wanting to find peace and beauty. So then you finally get out to sunlight and bud into a flower, but sometimes the flower dies when you were unsure about budding. But then there are the seeds in your soul you can't deny so they grow and won't let you deny them anymore and become buds. More buds and flowers are created until you turn into a new flower and embody the person you really are inside. If I completed this drawing to show your whole transition there would be really nice pretty flowers all around it but I felt it was more important in this case just to show your struggle and strength because this large part of your life should be recognized as a reminder of how hard you fought for it. I'm proud to be your son and I love you so much.

Wow, best gift I have ever been given.
Dodie

[Jayne]

I spent most of today in bed with "Manuel"
I've discovered a way to see pink fluffy clouds without having to touch my yucky bits, this means I don't have the good vibe ruined by being disgusted with myself. Happy Daze 

[Kellam]

This from my son! I got it last night with a beautiful drawing..
I drew for you. I haven't done any artwork like this in at least 10 years so my skills aren't perfect, but this is my representation of your struggle and strength to go fourth with your transition. To me it represents hiding and turmoil in the middle like a black hole in your soul hiding, but then keeps courageously reaching out to the outside wanting to find peace and beauty. So then you finally get out to sunlight and bud into a flower, but sometimes the flower dies when you were unsure about budding. But then there are the seeds in your soul you can't deny so they grow and won't let you deny them anymore and become buds. More buds and flowers are created until you turn into a new flower and embody the person you really are inside. If I completed this drawing to show your whole transition there would be really nice pretty flowers all around it but I felt it was more important in this case just to show your struggle and strength because this large part of your life should be recognized as a reminder of how hard you fought for it. I'm proud to be your son and I love you so much.

Wow, best gift I have ever been given.
Dodie

That is beautiful! You are cleary a wonderful parent to have such an amazing child!

[Dodie]

Thanks Kellam,
I used to mourn the fact that I did not have a female childhood but the blessings I have from life I now accept and embrace fully.. now I can be me and complete the journey.
Dodie

[Mallory]

My therapist said he was going yo start writing my letter for HRT this week and would finish it after out next session next Monday. Time to schedule an appointment.