Do you ever just get to the point where you just don't care? what gender you are

[barbie]

Everybody knows that I am dad, and I am wearing skirt, heels and lipstick. What can I do at this point? It is no longer my business, and nowadays it seems that it is no longer their business, either.

barbie~~

[Cindy]

I had a think on this and realised that I'm no longer misgendered by anyone but my mother in law, and she is 92 and does try. I don't think I 'pass' particularly well, but my attitude to life is such that I think people just accept me. Would I be upset if misgendered? I don't know, but I think it would just be so odd for someone to do so.

[Inanna]

For 6 years, I've thought about gender and its complexities all the time; I'm starting to get to the point where I just don't care about it anymore.  I'd love to live in a genderless world.

[kelly_aus]

I had a think on this and realised that I'm no longer misgendered by anyone but my mother in law, and she is 92 and does try. I don't think I 'pass' particularly well, but my attitude to life is such that I think people just accept me. Would I be upset if misgendered? I don't know, but I think it would just be so odd for someone to do so.

My 94yo grandmother misgendered me until she saw me.. Seems seeing is believing..

On the odd occasion that I get misgendered now, I find an incredulous look and a raised eyebrow works well. I don't let it get to me, what's the point? My past is my past..

[jussmoi4nao]

Yeah I've kinda gotten to that point. I realize, in a weird way, what I truly want is to be *expected* to be female. So basically i wish i was cis. But yeah, passing is a breeze, I even pass as female when I deliberately try to look male and I just don't care anymore. I'm burned out.

I dont want it to be some shameful little secret like it is in my interactions with people who don't know. And for people who do know, I don't want it to be something they so graaciously accept. And that's all it'll ever be so I don't care.

I think that's why the idea of being male, partly, appeals to me...even though I ironically don't pass as one anymore. It's something I can be without being denied. It's something I'm expected to be. And a part of me might rather that. At this point I don't care about gender...I just wanna be real.

But it's whatever. If you'll excuse me, gotta take my hormones, ironically. I made my decision, fullll steam ahead lol.

[Inanna]

I realize, in a weird way, what I truly want is to be *expected* to be female.

I really feel that way too. 

In a sense, it would be nice to be expected to be a heteronormative female, with the accompanying pressures.  Instead, informed and accepting people that know I'm trans don't assume I'm attracted to males.  They don't assume I have or want a vagina.  They don't assume I have stereotypical feminine interests or goals in life.  They do, however, make such assumptions about any other random woman until shown otherwise.

It's nice they don't make assumptions about me, but in an irrational way it still makes me feel different.  My (mostly) accepting mother still puts pressure on my sister to find a nice husband and settle down.  Otoh, she actually wanted me to be a lesbian when I came out. 

[David27]

I prefer male pronouns and to be treated like a man. However, as I'm kinda in the andro-phase it bothers me when people stare as even though I've always had an appearance that doesn't fit into main stream appearances, which causes people to stare at times. It's not that I don't care about the gender I'm referred to as, but being seen as an it or something weird bothers me.

TLDR: I'm a person and I should be treated with the same respect as other people on this Earth.

[Ltl89]

I've been following this thread and I must say this is very interesting.  Honestly, I can't imagine ever getting to that point.  Maybe that says something about my transition status or my age, but gender still plays a big role in my life.  Perhaps it won't matter once I can look the way I way and present the way I feel.  In time, things like pronouns probably will feel more like formalities as long as I can be myself to the greatest extent.  If I can reach that stage, maybe the title itself won't matter. 

[defective snowflake]

I do care what gender I am, that's why I transitioned. I don't think about it much though and I don't get stressed when people that known me for a long time misgender me occasionally, just so long as they don't do it consistently.  Most of the time, I am just Jaime and I go about my business and don't pay a lot of attention to how most people refer to me.

[Shantel]

Personally I don't care, but I don't like people arguing over it like the male and female employee at the local hardware store that argued over whether or not I was a man or a woman, and if I was a woman they wondered if I was some kind of dyke lesbian. It's just too crazy when that happens. The woman employee became a friend, the guy is still smarting for being called out as a dork.