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Living In Fear

Started by Sasha Waysin, February 20, 2014, 10:13:16 PM

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Sasha Waysin

I guess to start i should explain my situation a little

I have been in a relationship now for 9 yrs and for the first 5 yrs I was reluctant to tell my gf that i was a cross-dresser as I was still coming to terms with that aspect myself. Although she has never been supportive of it she was at first excepting that it was a part of who I am but asked that I did not allow our children to see me dressed up. I was  more then willing to except those terms but as time has gone by she has  demanded I stop completely because she didn't like it. I tried to compromise with her so that I would only dress up if her and our children were not present in the home. That was not good enough for her and the name calling begin. Although her calling me(forgive the phrase) a "->-bleeped-<-got" was hurtful I tried to ignore it at first and tried convincing myself that she was just having a hard time dealing with who I am. After finally being able to work up the courage to talk to my doctor about my situation and I have since discovered that I not only want to dress like a woman I want to be a woman and things have gotten worse ever since my gf has now been trying to have several of the men in our neighborhood attack me while being outside of my home. Today I found my toothbrush sitting in a glass of bleach after it was used to scrub her cats litter box. I tried getting myself into a shelter but was denied because they feared for my safety if any of the other residents there found out.

I am truly scared to even go outside of my home and equally as scared of what is going to happen if I stay here much longer. I really need help and any advise would be much appreciated. 
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Jessica Merriman

I am so sorry for your situation. Are there and family or friends outside of the area who would let you stay until you get something else. Is there a LGBT organization near you to could call for assistance? Is Law Enforcement an option since you were battered? Are there any domestic violence laws in your city? All I can do right now is give suggestions and let you know someone is thinking about you and hoping you can be safe. I hope that is a small comfort. Others here may have better ideas. All I can do is give you an E-Hug! :) Give some of the others here a chance to read this and maybe they can help more, OK?
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Cindy

You need to report this to the police. A threat to harm you is a criminal offence. Trying to poison you is a criminal offence. It does not matter a jot about your gender or sexuality.

It would help to know where you are so members in that country and give you specific advice.
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mrs izzy

Quote from: Cindy on February 21, 2014, 01:35:30 AM
You need to report this to the police. A threat to harm you is a criminal offence. Trying to poison you is a criminal offence. It does not matter a jot about your gender or sexuality.

It would help to know where you are so members in that country and give you specific advice.

I totaly agree with Cindy.

You need to go to the police and make a report. Not sure if you live in the States? Gender of any kind is covered under federal hate crime laws.

Get out and walk away. Not sure if the shelter has the right to turn you away, seems like a little discrimination invalved there also maybe.

Lots of luck.
Isabell
Mrs. Izzy
Trans lifeline US 877-565-8860 CAD 877-330-6366 http://www.translifeline.org/
"Those who matter will never judge, this is my given path to walk in life and you have no right to judge"

I used to be grounded but now I can fly.
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Sasha Waysin

I'm sorry didn't realize I hadn't said where I lived I am in east side of Hamilton Ontario.
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mrs izzy

Quote from: Sasha Waysin on February 21, 2014, 10:44:05 PM
I'm sorry didn't realize I hadn't said where I lived I am in east side of Hamilton Ontario.

I know there was efforts to get it in the law in canada but not sure if it ever did. I have seen some say it is already covered under the gender part of the law

Does not hurt to talk to the police or check with your local LGBT center.

Isabell
Mrs. Izzy
Trans lifeline US 877-565-8860 CAD 877-330-6366 http://www.translifeline.org/
"Those who matter will never judge, this is my given path to walk in life and you have no right to judge"

I used to be grounded but now I can fly.
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Sasha Waysin

To be honest I don't even know how to even start looking for a local LGBT. I tried looking on the web but only ever get results for Toronto and London, Ontario. And going to the police is not an option. I can't be the reason my children lose their mother if she went to jail and I would rather die than have them go to foster care.
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kelly_aus

Quote from: Sasha Waysin on February 21, 2014, 11:39:49 PM
To be honest I don't even know how to even start looking for a local LGBT. I tried looking on the web but only ever get results for Toronto and London, Ontario. And going to the police is not an option. I can't be the reason my children lose their mother if she went to jail and I would rather die than have them go to foster care.

Are you prepared for the fact that she might take it further and you end up in hospital?
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Sasha Waysin

I understand that it is a possibility that I might have to face but I am hoping to get at least 1 of the places I applied to before things go to far. I hope it does not escalate but if it does I have been able to gather some evidence to prove the threats. But if you asking if I would rather be hospitalized then let my children go to a foster home I would have to say yes. It isn't fair that they be punished for something they didn't do. I don't know how better to explain it then I always believed that to protect your children means putting your own safety aside.
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kelly_aus

I'm a little puzzled.. Why would your children go to foster care if you report her to the police? Are you not the other parent?
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Sasha Waysin

Because I have been told by the landlords that because I am the cause of the problems I have until the 28 to vacate the premises or I am going to be charged with trespassing. And unfortunately because I am the "male" and she is a female crying victim i am automatically treated as the villain. Which means I am going to be homeless as I have now been turned away from 2 shelters and have giving up on even looking into shelters and started looking for places I could afford on social services. Which doesn't even give you enough to rent a 1 bedroom is a run down roach infested dump in this city. Which means I do not have a safe place for my children to be so CAS will just take them
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Rawb

If you're still around, come to Nova Scotia!
You can live with me <3
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