d'oh! Misgendered MYSELF!

[kelly_aus]

I've done it a number of times myself. Especially if I'm telling a funny story or something about me when I was a kid and like I've told it so many times and have it down a certain way and will slip up and say she O_o then I'm like -facedesk-

Yep.. It's the funny or interesting stories from my past that get me.. Especially the ones that don't entirely make sense if I don't misgender myself..

[Rina]

Even though I'm not out to most people yet (and definitely nowhere near even thinking about passing), I find myself not only misgendering myself among those who know, but also right-gendering (is that a word?) myself among those who don't (or at least shouldn't) know. It's embarrassing, but I can't help enjoying the puzzled look on people's face

I'm really finding this difficult, since I spent most of my adult life always making sure to distance myself from what women do, how women feel etc. Even when I'm now with people who know, I sometimes do this, it's a reflex that simply takes a while to get rid of. At the same time, I'm getting so used to accepting myself, that I sometimes slip when speaking to everyone else.

I'm getting increasingly successful at simply not gendering myself though, which is probably the best strategy for a while. Now I just hope I won't have to work a lot to get rid of that habit too, when I'm going full time...

[mandonlym]

I haven't done it in English but I've done it in French where you have to use feminine adjectives in writing to describe yourself (i.e. fatigué for tired if you're a man and fatiguée if you're a woman). On one of my French compositions once my professor got tired of this habit, corrected my error for the umpteenth time, and in big bold letters in red ink on the margin wrote:

"VOUS ETES UN HOMME?" (Are you a man?)

She was just reminding me to use female adjectives but it was kind of mortifying!

[HoneyStrums]

The firth thing noticed is that you were talking about what "other people" and I do the same, when I think of what other people think about me I auto asume that they are going to think he. So I use he when I talk about what people think. The highlight to this is that that's not always what they think, with no hormones, or surgeries I was shopping with a freind and asked if I could borrow a note for my purchases to save using my card, and she says ends up saying he, barring In mind I'd been talking to this shop person about shoes and stuff before that, and she was surprised, in her words, "you know I never would of guessed you can't tell at all" but yeah reffering to ones self as he is a habbit that it takes a loot of work to get out of :p

[Julia-Madrid]

I just laugh about the whole misgendering thing, and cry occasionally     People try so hard to get it right, and then they fall right into a misstep.  I was out shopping for clothes with a girlfriend this weekend.  Girl's clothes, me looking and talking like a girl etc.  And then another mutual girlfriend calls her mobile, so I shout out "Tell her I say hi."  And my dear friend says "He says hi, by the way!"   

Aaaaaaargh!  Irrelevant and yet totally not!

[Shantel]

This issue has morphed into a non-issue for me probably because of my andro presentation now, but there was a time that I self identified as MtF, but years of my spouse, kids and grandkids referring to me as he or dad or grandpa, I just never had the urge to try and break them of it, so I am different things to different people and decided in the long run it just wasn't worth hassling everyone over it. If I dressed en femme all the time then of course it would be an entirely different matter. As it is I just don't have the heart to disrupt their lives with it, my friend Marcie Bowers is still "dad" to her kids too and I'm sure Shelly gets this at home as well. Nice thread tho ladies and gents, something we can all be considerate about with each other.