Being pregnant is a most wonderful thing and is something that unless tech and medicine gets better I'll never be able to experience this for myself, the best way I can experience this is to do it with a women and HER have the baby, well, unless I'm unable too even do that. (I wouldn't know..) but that's no fun for me nor is it fair to me. I want so badly to be able to get pregnant and to have my own kids and I can't.
This is something I dislike thinking about or dwelling on and typically don't (Though sometimes if I see kids, especially with their moms, I'll think on it and get depressed) but the one thing that keeps happening to me is, when I speak to a women she says "I'm pregnant." Did I forget to mention all those women knew I am transgender? Did I forget to mention this was my Doc, my Psychologist (Which didn't work out even though I wish it had and in her case she'd recently given birth so she wasn't pregnant but you get what I mean here..) and as of yesterday, now even my neighbor has told me she's pregnant.
(Yes in this order) While I'm happy for them, and I don't "think" they're rubbing it in my face or mean anything by it other than simply stating facts and sharing the news, I still can't help but be sad by this and get depressed and to a lesser extent, even feel some jealousy because, I'll never be able to have kids of my own like they can.
I wish I really could cry so I could feel better but can't and am left with just depression.
I just, sometimes wish they wouldn't share this with me and would be more sensitive of my circumstances. (My neighbor I can understand sharing it with me, not the other two..)
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