Trans Dating sites? o.O Lots of questions....

[MikaylaGC]

Ok so as you may or may not know I'm still very new to this site and all that. So I'm not exactly sure where to ask this but here goes....ok, so I'm nowhere ready to go fulltime but I am interested in going out in the next 3 or 4 mths to my local LGBT friendly clubs for a dance and to get used to a few things bla bla have fun and all that.
So I was looking around at Dating sites and what have you (LOL ikr but shush ) and they seem to be either A/non-inclusive of Trans ppl ie. just sticking to regular male/female binaries or having lesbian/gay options and thats it OR B/ there specific Trans dating sites like Trans Passions etc. Now I guess my question is, if your looking for new friends for dating or just random fun/hanging out etc are the Trans specific sites any good or are they just filled with those trans-pervs? as in a guy/gal who fetishes(is that even a word?) me as a MTF trans??Coz really thats NOT what I'm interested in. I mean I noticed there are plenty of those ppl on those sites but there does seem to be guys wanting to meet Trans-girls who seem genuine, I dunno I have zero experience with this :|
So please any thoughts/advice/experiences with regards to this would be great?

[IamNotxChristine]

They are not worth it
Always the same guys playing email tag.
Most of them never go past a stupid first email.
They are ->-bleeped-<-s

[Chloevixen]

AGREED!! I was on a couple of them and removed myself after a couple months of getting nothing but picture requests.  It was not a good experience for me, but I am sure someone has had good luck with it in the past.

[mandonlym]

Honestly just do OkCupid and indicate that you're trans in your profile. Simple.

[JennX]

Those places are full of pervs, creepers, ->-bleeped-<-s, and worse. Stay away. Far away.

[Androgynous_Machine]

I personally use OkCupid.

I make who I am and my intentions clear.

Sure some ->-bleeped-<-s come to call but I do get a fair amount of trans-attracted men and women to call.

Mileage my vary.

-AM

[Ltl89]

Are ->-bleeped-<-s all that bad though?  I'm thinking about how I should approach the dating situation myself, but I feel torn.  One, I tell a guy after the fact and risk getting rejected and hurt (maybe even physically).  Two, I disclose off the bat and hope for the best.  I imagine if I disclose I'm really only going to hear from ->-bleeped-<-s and guys that go for us, as most guys probably would avoid dating a transwoman.  So, are ->-bleeped-<-s all that bad?  Are there some that don't see us as objects and think of us as people that they can date long term?  Seriously, Do any of them actually consider dating us or is it always a sexual fling for them? I mean just because they are attracted to us doesn't have to rule out their ability to connect with us as people, right?  I really don't know how to approach this subject when I get to that point.  Right now, I'm still in andro mode, so I imagine the only guys that would go for me are bi since both straight and gay men wouldn't be into my andro appearance.  It just sucks because I would like to start dating and more interested in a relationship, but it seems like most of the trans dating scene is just hookups which I'm not interested in. 

[mandonlym]

Are ->-bleeped-<-s all that bad though?

I met some really nice people when I was pre-op and people I hung out with more than once were generally super-respectful. But a lot of people attracted to pre-ops have to deal with social judgment and so they have their own psychological issues to deal with. That's probably what was hard for me was dealing with someone else's stuff when I had my own stuff to deal with. So the main person I ended up dating when I was pre-op was an old friend who was straight-identified and figured out that he was attracted to me. There was a lot less drama and handwringing.

[IamNotxChristine]

Are ->-bleeped-<-s bad?
It depends on what level of trans you are and how
Comfortable you are with your thing.
->-bleeped-<-s are the kinds of guys who don't "chase" you coz
Your pretty intelkegint sexy and woman. No they want you
To perform oral on your thing and to have to penetrate their
Butt. Maybe if you enjoy being relegated to s she male its good
For you. Also they will lie right to your face and tell you what they
You want to hear snd EXPECT you to perform like a man, which for
Obvious reasons is very destructive to us.
Since most of us the thing in between our legs is what caused us
Great pain and a ->-bleeped-<- will make it the complete focus.
Which in turn reminds us about our issues .
I hate ->-bleeped-<-s and usually call them closet cased homos that
Aren't man enough to go to a homo bar.
And like I said it depends on what your comfortable with.

[BunnyBee]

I find ->-bleeped-<-s have learned how to say all the right things.  There is a feeling of urgency or desperation that you can pick up on that tells you they are full of it, even when the words they say sound wonderful.  I have never met one that didn't reek of it.  I'm sure there are nice ones out there, that exist, but geez.

[IamNotxChristine]

Not in my exepiece Emily 
Usually they tell me the truth depending where I meet them
Lately I find men are figuring it out to declare what they
Want. They outright tell me they want my tail and maybe
To check me out. Some you see talk about relationship.
The ->-bleeped-<-s....they are different snd you see them as different 
Real men that love woman usually tell me up front
" I'm the man I migjt want a taste up front but its just that"
->-bleeped-<-s omg they want to feed all day long.
Anywaus it is something we all learn the father we get

[Ltl89]

Interesting.  I'm appreciating the candid responses so far.  I just have no idea how I'm going to go about dating as a straight transgirl.  It's really just messed up out there. Maybe I will just keep myself from disclosing until a few dates, but I'm afraid of what will happen if I kiss a guy and tell him a night or two after the fact.  How will he react?  But then do I really have to tell someone on the first day, I mean come on, it's not the greatest piece of info to share then. 

[big kim]

Waste of time done with dating

[Ltl89]

I suggest seeing what or who is out there yourself LtL.

You're right.  I'm very scared though and want to go about things the right way, like everything with me, lol.  I just don't know what's out there and how I should deal with the situation.  Oh well, it's not like I can date yet anyway.  May as well wait for full time and find out what's out there at that point. 

[MikaylaGC]

Ya thanks for all the responses so far. It's pretty much what I though tbh. And actually coz I have alot of female friends, there like babes its just what happens, dick pictures, guys just have a 'thing' with sending you that crap, and yea I get the ->-bleeped-<-/fetish side of things. I just wasnt sure if there was a 'better' Trans dating site sorta thing or 1 that comes recomended or something.
I mean I dunno why I'm even looking atm, I mean my face currently looks like I was attacked by someone with lots of sandpaper....freakin 'Beard Burn' I never realised that could be so brutal on my now changed skin o.O

[big kim]

People especially men exagerate or plain lie on sites.my date described himself as looking like Jason Statham,the only similarity was that he was going bald and had a broken nose.

[Janae]

When I was looking I went on the regular old sites most people go to. Trans-specific dating sites are full of weirdos and ->-bleeped-<-s and no one has time for that.

I used to go on pof a lot.

I know what I'm about to say may not popular to say but I'm gonna say it. If your fairly passable and just put yourself out there most guys will just hit you up. I say be friendly and chat for a bit and if they seem like someone worth talking to just let them know your trans. Some will decline but there are others who won't mind at all.

I look at it like this, If I see myself as a woman why not just put myself out there like any other woman? Sure there may be a bit of explaining to do, but in the end isn't the point to carry on like anyone else? Why should we settle for "alternative" dating sites??

[Janae]

Btw, there was an update/info recently that POF had deleted accounts of all of their TS/TG members - it kinda just happened one day without any prior warning etc.

I never even knew they had the option to list TS or TG on profiles.

One time I did a Google search for it on the site and some did pop up but they were very few.

[HoneyStrums]

Dating arrrrg. I can't say its not somthing I have thought about, because I have, So I set myself a few rules the pool has got to be a pool that knows I'm trans, avoiding the dilema of rejection. And a whole lot of un necessery pain for us both. Not specifically intrested in dating antil my body has all the parts and atributes, because if you have somthing someone wants that might be part of why they are attractracted to you, even if its a part you'd rather not be remined you have.

Then I personally just plan on going out with freinds as Is normal, I love being out with my freinds, the're social magnets and I talk to so many people, I don't hide that I'm trans and I'm a bit of a magnet too, that is it just seem people find excuses to introduce themselves. Like walking past three groops of smokers to ask me for a lighter :p. Will I find somone in cis space? I don't care I go to drag and gay bars too. Will I find someone there? probably not, but someone is definatelly bound to find me

[Jess42]

I was on a trans specific dating site for a short while. I got a lot of lude requests, so that was a bit of a shock, but if you make it clear in your profile what you are looking for, you can meet some lovely people. I met my current BF on that site. Not everyone is a ->-bleeped-<-...

Well ->-bleeped-<-'s or fetishists will lurk on any dating sight that TG or TS is an option. S at least the ones on the TG/TS dating sights are looking for something specific and no up front who is who and what the deal is. I can't put ->-bleeped-<-s down unless they are fetishists and just want one thing. With a guy as a girl I will never be top. If they ask for that it's a no go. I leave judgement out of the equation until they say something, ask for something that just don't jive or freaks me completely out. As for pictures of certain body parts sent over the internet, yeah right. As for dating sights, I have only tried one and really wasn't that impressed and would a lot rather do it the old fashion way face to face and take things from there.