Venting+optimism thread

[campenella]

Hi all, I've been struggling lately with transitioning. I'm passing easier and easier thank goodness, but difficulties surrounding getting my gender marker changed are leaving me a mess. The process is so long and tedious and full of dysphoric weeks having to explain and have rude people address me that I've been really needing a good long cry about it. I'm in a state that doesn't allow for birth certificate changes so the road is really frustrating for me and trying to figure out financing for top surgery is stressful on top of that. I'm definitely bottling my feelings up, and I'm a little lost right now stuck in limbo of playing the waiting game. Right now everything I do feels so self conscious.

I sort of need some support from you all if you don't mind and give you some well wishes on your own journeys. Maybe we can vent our complaints together and talk about even small things that bother us, as well as things that are positive.

Some of the things I've been seeing in the community are really quite amazing. I see more and more black transmen within my own age group that are transitioning or post transition and it helps so much to be able to see people like me so I can visualize better. The information I've seen for hrt and operations is so detailed and the fight for rights is better than I could have hoped for in all the years I've been transitioning.

[Ayden]

Hey man.

I've been in process for about 2.5 years, and I just wanted to say it gets better. When I came here, I was just starting and I was a wreck. I was on the verge of losing just about everything and I probably spent a week crying my eyes out. The guys and gals here helped me a lot.

I met a guy through this site who I talk to about once a week. He's not a member as far as I know, but he's another American trans guy living in Japan. He saw my posts and found me via The internet. He's in Sapporo and I'm in Osaka so it's a big distance. We haven't met in person but we talk a lot and he's right about where I am transition wise.

The reason I bring him up is that he's black. He's from Detroit and I hear about his experiences and I am amazed by how much he has done to get to where he is. There are a lot folk from all over the world here, so you will find a lot of black men and women here who can help you and have a lot of the same upbringing that you have. Hell, I've seen people from both my hometowns here. I don't need to tell you that transition is a roller coaster. But, everyone here understands.

Getting gender markers changed is terrible in some places. My home state and my birth state both wont allow changes without bottom surgery and I'm not sure I can ever get there. Even if I did, my marriage would be nullified. I don't know what I will do in the future but for now I take it day by day.

What I can say that is encouraging (I hope) is that my life is amazing now. I started transition in university but I was working full time as well. My husband was then (and still is) a very public figure and we worried about how my transition would affect his work. It hasn't. I came here with that big F on my passport and ID and I was able to get a job as a man. I have family that refuse to accept me, but I also have family that I know would fight tooth and nail for me.

I'm rambling, so I will stop here. My brain isn't working all that well today since I stopped smoking. But I wanted to let you know that you're not alone.

[campenella]

Hey man.

I've been in process for about 2.5 years, and I just wanted to say it gets better. When I came here, I was just starting and I was a wreck. I was on the verge of losing just about everything and I probably spent a week crying my eyes out. The guys and gals here helped me a lot.

I met a guy through this site who I talk to about once a week. He's not a member as far as I know, but he's another American trans guy living in Japan. He saw my posts and found me via The internet. He's in Sapporo and I'm in Osaka so it's a big distance. We haven't met in person but we talk a lot and he's right about where I am transition wise.

The reason I bring him up is that he's black. He's from Detroit and I hear about his experiences and I am amazed by how much he has done to get to where he is. There are a lot folk from all over the world here, so you will find a lot of black men and women here who can help you and have a lot of the same upbringing that you have. Hell, I've seen people from both my hometowns here. I don't need to tell you that transition is a roller coaster. But, everyone here understands.

Getting gender markers changed is terrible in some places. My home state and my birth state both wont allow changes without bottom surgery and I'm not sure I can ever get there. Even if I did, my marriage would be nullified. I don't know what I will do in the future but for now I take it day by day.

What I can say that is encouraging (I hope) is that my life is amazing now. I started transition in university but I was working full time as well. My husband was then (and still is) a very public figure and we worried about how my transition would affect his work. It hasn't. I came here with that big F on my passport and ID and I was able to get a job as a man. I have family that refuse to accept me, but I also have family that I know would fight tooth and nail for me.

I'm rambling, so I will stop here. My brain isn't working all that well today since I stopped smoking. But I wanted to let you know that you're not alone.

Thank you for  your kind words Ayden! I'm also a Japanese student who thought long and hard about going over and am still thinking about doing it one day. I know it's a waiting game, but I needed to just let all that negativity off of my mind. I'm so glad you got the support you deserve and that you're doing so well in your relationship and transition. Congrats to you on the quitting of smoking. Quitting addictions can be tough.

[Kreuzfidel]

Vent all you need to - that's what we're here for. 

There are still a lot of things in the world that are pretty backwards - but we're making huge leaps forward, so I'm sure in a few more years we'll see an even brighter future.  Hopefully all of the US states come around and amend their legislation so that everyone can change their BC's.