So, my sis who I've rarely heard from and only through emails for like, 3-4 months is probably going to get married in the near future, now, we talked a bit about it, she didn't seem to indicate she wouldn't let me come as myself, a woman, she seemed so supportive up until a few months prior to when we stopped talking and not until then did I realize, she'd stopped calling me her sis, stopped showing support for the most part. well, I just sent her an email to get clarification and then some, odds are I won't get a reply but it was a good enough one to warrant a reply, I even tried calling her two days in a row, didn't leave a message and yea, got no answer/return call. Anyway, the thing I need help with is this along with what's at the bottom too.
How do YOU handle family/friends who, won't let you come to a wedding/funeral or other big events unless you do as they ask? Before you answer that, keep in mind, I am not saying the person whose HAVING said wedding, funeral or event is the one saying you can't come unless you do as they say, but, I am saying the person paying for said event is saying this, regardless of how the person having the event feels. Keep in mind I am referring to MtF & FtM here and us being forced into a gender role we aren't. Before you answer, please read this, this is a part of what I emailed my sis, with some edits to it for privacy's sake.
Also, Daddy recently asked/told me that, if any funerals or weddings or major events like those happen I am to come dressed as a male, act like it and so on, or I can't come. I told him how if he wants to hurt you & me again like he did on your b-day which I couldn't come too then go ahead, as I cannot do as he's asking me to do which is when he said, how the event is not about me, how there are others there and I have to respect them (Even though no one is respecting me, this is NOT as simple as a cross dresser issue and is unfair to me to ask me to do what he's asking me to do), how no one wants such an event ruined by anything that would upset/bother them (He was referring to me being a woman which he still believes I'm confused but he was also referring to anything ruining the event in general) and so on, otherwise I cannot come unless I do what he asked me to do. I straight up asked him, are you (My sis) getting married (As I remember what all u told me), he told me, it is a very good possibility in the near future. He further said either If or that he is paying for it (if it is happening I assume is what he meant) that I cannot come unless I once again do as he says. (Yup, you were right) I told him how I felt, he seemed to understand at least a little bit that, if I do come, some things need to be done to lessen the hurt/disrespect and so on, on me and that for something like this, the only people I'd even be willing to possibly do this for are you my sis, Daddy and Dad's wife, no one else. I still told him I'd have to think about it and would need a good amount of time. (A month minimum) So, if you wouldn't mind telling me, how do YOU feel about me coming as myself, your sister? Do you know if anyone in your BF's family/your friends and so on would be accepting of me and let me come as a woman? And lastly, if you want to tell me, has your BF proposed yet?
That is what I sent her, it tells the story of what my "Dad" said to me and so on. As for the bolded, the real reason I created this thread is because, I want to know how YOU all here at Susan's feel about that part my "Dad" said to me? Any advice and such is greatly appreciated. Me? I don't know how to feel about what he said, yeah the event isn't about me but, it's not about others who are there either, it's about the bride and the groom. I feel, THEY should be the ones to put THIER differences aside for that one day (If any) and get over it, of course, some may not come as a result but I can't help I was born trans and that people are so darned closed minded! >_< I think I should tell him that but, I don't know, any advice what to tell him?
Lastly, I apologize to any cross dressers out there for the part in the bolded. I am not a cross dresser and am MtF so, I don't know whether it hurts you and such to be told you can't come dressed in the clothing you prefer like it does me because mine is gender related while yours is not. So by that logic, I am assuming it's easy or at least a LOT easier for any cross dresser to do what my Dad is telling me to do if I want to come than it is for me, again, because this isn't about clothing, it's about my gender which ties into the clothing. Again, sorry.
