Still struggling with whether this is a "want" or a "need"

[Jess42]

I relate all to much to this.

I cant look at myself and feel I will ever be happy with my body as it is. My face, my shape, it all looks wrong, so very wrong. I want kids, so I want to try to stay in a male body as long as possible so I can have them

Hate to tell you jaybutterfly, don't let it just be about kids. I ain't never been able to have' em. Sorry but life sometimes screws severely with your plans and hat you want. Sorry to be so brutally honest.

[Kova V]

Yes, you could do those things. I know I did, and guess where they led me back to? I threw myself into my hobbies and work for twenty years and in the end I still couldn't deny I was miserable.

What Ms. Grace said. You'll find that you can only lie to yourself for so long, after awhile your brain will revolt, and then hold on to your butt.

As for kids, I totally understand that. With the relationship I'm in, we're to a point where we probably couldn't have kids if we wanted to. Life can be funny in a "pie in the face" sort of way.

It's simple. At the end of the day, make the best decision you can at the time. There is no wrong answer as long as it's what you want. When you start to doubt it years later, know you made the best choice at the time. So you wipe the pie off your face, laugh cry whatever, and you keep moving forward. It's simple. Not easy, just simple. 

[PoeticHeart]

To be honest, as seems to be the case with a lot of the responses, this is a struggle I can relate to.

In the end, the one thing to remember is that it's your body. Even if you just want to do stuff with it, that's valid simply because you have the power to make that decision. Sometimes the line between want and need blurs, and all that's left is to follow how you feel.

[jaybutterfly]

Hate to tell you jaybutterfly, don't let it just be about kids. I ain't never been able to have' em. Sorry but life sometimes screws severely with your plans and hat you want. Sorry to be so brutally honest.

Having biological offspring is actually one of the things I'm actually adament I have. If I find someone who doesnt mind my gender issues and stays with me, then maybe try for some little uns before I do anything, but it depends entirely on how long I can hold out :S