Susan's Place Logo

News:

Visit our Discord server  and Wiki

Main Menu

need advice

Started by Umiko, May 09, 2014, 03:50:54 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Umiko

So as you already know, i'm suppose to hang with my sister and her female friends. I feel as if my heart is about to burst. Need advice here  :'(
  •  

Ms Grace

So what's the problem for you? Heart bursting why? Do they know you are trans? Do you want to tell them? Are you presenting in guy or girl mode? Need the deets!
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
  •  

Umiko

Quote from: Ms Grace on May 09, 2014, 04:42:32 PM
So what's the problem for you? Heart bursting why? Do they know you are trans? Do you want to tell them? Are you presenting in guy or girl mode? Need the deets!
No they dont know, no i'm in stealth mode, its an all girls night out, i'm freaking cuz hanging out with them is making me even more aware which is driving my mind crazy because i already feel gross. I'm staying with my sister tonight. Basically everything that wpuld scream trans is whats happening here. Plus i just got out of a major episode a few hours ago o.o what should i do! Dont think my heart can take this torture. Oh i had to wear male clothing instead of my normal gender neutral clothes ._.
  •  

Ms Grace

Seems like you have a few options...

  • Don't go out, and feel miserable
  • Go out, and feel miserable
  • Go out and have an awesome time!
Personally I'd aim for the third option. :)

I don't mean to be flippant here, I've been in very much the same situation in the past prior to transition. Going out with a group of women, being the only "guy" and hating it, wishing I could be seen and treated by them as one of the girls. It sucked big time. On those occasions I had such a rotten time I'm sure they wished they'd never asked me along, I was such a killjoy sad sack. But when I was able to relax and tell myself it wouldn't always be this way, that soon I'd be one of the girls too, then if could at least enjoy myself and not feel like a freak. Better to find a way to enjoy it - and seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how faint and far away, is better than being in a dark pit of misery. Hope you have a great night out! :D
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
  •  

Umiko

Quote from: Ms Grace on May 09, 2014, 05:00:34 PM
Seems like you have a few options...

  • Don't go out, and feel miserable
  • Go out, and feel miserable
  • Go out and have an awesome time!
Personally I'd aim for the third option. :)

I don't mean to be flippant here, I've been in very much the same situation in the past prior to transition. Going out with a group of women, being the only "guy" and hating it, wishing I could be seen and treated by them as one of the girls. It sucked big time. On those occasions I had such a rotten time I'm sure they wished they'd never asked me along, I was such a killjoy sad sack. But when I was able to relax and tell myself it wouldn't always be this way, that soon I'd be one of the girls too, then if could at least enjoy myself and not feel like a freak. Better to find a way to enjoy it - and seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how faint and far away, is better than being in a dark pit of misery. Hope you have a great night out! :D
Haha, thnx grace. Made me feel a bit better
  •  

Umiko

so i decided i want to start transitioning but i dont know how to bring it up with my therapist o.o HELP!
  •  

Blue Rabbit

"I wanna start transitioning" is about the only way you can do it. Rip it off like a bandaid
  •  

Umiko

my therapist is a very observant person. its like he can pill my feelings back like an onion, so saying "i wanna transition" isnt going to get me anywhere lol
  •