Told my hairs beautiful angered me.

[Larisa]

Today was weird and yesterday was a bit odd. Today my hair well near shoulder length and straight even though I have curly hair naturally looks girly. So a coworker today called my hair beautiful and I cringed at it. Not the girly part but I'm not gay at all and was annoyed by it badly. Made me feel very uncomfortable and all. Yes I can make my hair look very cute or wear my blonde and look cute but a guy saying it is odd. If a girl had said my hair was beautiful, I'd taken it well. Another guy at work pulled the same thing yesterday and I felt just as uncomfortable. I like girls, not guys and anyone who knows me is unaware I'm trans. I hope this makes sense.

[Sincerely Tegan]

Nothing wrong with a compliment, Larisa. I'm not into guys, but if a gay man checks me out and likes what he sees, I'm flattered. Validation is validation. Take your compliments where you can get them, girl.

Next time, just say thank you.

Cheers,
Teg

[Asche]

So a coworker today called my hair beautiful and I cringed at it. Not the girly part but I'm not gay at all and was annoyed by it badly. Made me feel very uncomfortable and all. Yes I can make my hair look very cute or wear my blonde and look cute but a guy saying it is odd. If a girl had said my hair was beautiful, I'd taken it well. Another guy at work pulled the same thing yesterday and I felt just as uncomfortable. I like girls, not guys and anyone who knows me is unaware I'm trans. I hope this makes sense.

I don't know what you consider yourself, but if a cis woman were writing this it would make perfect sense.

Because in the world we live in, when men make remarks about a woman that draw attention to her being a woman, it takes on a sexual implication that it (usually) doesn't when a woman makes the same remarks to another woman.  Because in the world we live in, sexism, sexual discrimination, sexual harrassment, and sexual assault are real things that women have reason to fear pretty much any time, anywhere.

That's why it's considered unprofessional to make personal comments about people in the workplace, especially comments which draw attention to someone's sex.

I'll let you figure out how that applies to you if you don't consider yourself (or present as) female. 

[JamesG]

As long as he wasn't being sarcastic, I'd take it as a compliment.

[Shantel]

They were probably intended as complements if you didn't hear a facetious tone to either. We're all strangely unique and react differently, I was set on edge over being constantly ma'amed and de-transitioned for two years over it, many would have loved it but in spite of everything I am, I just don't see myself as ma'am.

[Ltl89]

Today was weird and yesterday was a bit odd. Today my hair well near shoulder length and straight even though I have curly hair naturally looks girly. So a coworker today called my hair beautiful and I cringed at it. Not the girly part but I'm not gay at all and was annoyed by it badly. Made me feel very uncomfortable and all. Yes I can make my hair look very cute or wear my blonde and look cute but a guy saying it is odd. If a girl had said my hair was beautiful, I'd taken it well. Another guy at work pulled the same thing yesterday and I felt just as uncomfortable. I like girls, not guys and anyone who knows me is unaware I'm trans. I hope this makes sense.

I can understand what you mean in a different way.  Whenever I would be called handsome or something like that in the past by a girl it would make me feel uncomfortable.  It's nice to recieve a compliment and all, but it can be dysphoria inducing for many different reasons.

One thing to note is that guys will check out people with "feminine" qualities.  It's just going to happen.  I'm still not full time and out living more andro than anything and I get looks from guys.  It's something that just happens.

[Jessica Merriman]

Take it as a compliment. I am at the stage where any compliments I get receive a hug right away! I don't care who they come from I just know it feels so good inside. I never had that sort of attention before.

[TRyan]

I agree to take it as a compliment. It could be that he's unconsciously picking up that you're female and sincerely thinks your hair is beautiful.

[@Diana]

few of my friends told me i am a "handsome" girl .. i still thank them and think it's a great compliment (i was a handsome boy when i was a boy lol)!

[Shantel]

few of my friends told me i am a "handsome" girl .. i still thank them and think it's a great compliment (i was a handsome boy when i was a boy lol)!

You are a handsome and very beautiful girl, I have seen your lovely face and know this personally.

[@Diana]

You are a handsome and very beautiful girl, I have seen your lovely face and know this personally.

awww thank you , its an honor came from a beautiful Auntie Shan !

HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS 

[mandonlym]

So ambivalent about gendered niceness. Sometimes I like it and sometimes it makes me cringe. I think it makes me cringe more when there's a hint of the guy making advances. I had dinner alone last week and the waiter kept calling me "miss" and said something like, "I'm surprised you're alone tonight," with a suggestive hint so I wasn't happy he was so aggressively gendering me female. But last night the bus driver while I was getting out said, "Take care young lady" and I perceived that as nice. Well also because I'm 38. :p

[Jess42]

Yes it does make sense. I find any compliment extrememly flattering. But, if it was sarcastic and you said you are not out at work, tell the guy his girlfriend or wife liked it lastnight.

Even if it was a genuine compliment, yeah we all have different preferences, but I try not to limit myself because you never know from where true love will come. But that is just my crazy bi opinion though.

[Shantel]

This is the only place I do complements and engage in flattery. In my daily life I avoid it like the plague as it invariably is mistaken for other than it's intent and people either feel offended, uncomfortable, or want to have an affair. I avoid eye contact and don't return smiles to women that I don't know because it always morphs into something I don't want or need in my life. Just getting smart after years of being stupid, yes old dogs can learn new tricks! 

[Larisa]

I think it was more the guy who said it that put me off. I'm not gay and his tone if he's gay sounded not just a compliment as I thought about if a good friend, a guy had said it, I would have taken it as a compliment. I actually asked my friend and he said just take for the basic of what it is.

[mehscape]

Sounds like you have some internalized homophobia to work through.