One of my new housemates is coming off phobic!

[FTMDiaries]

That sounds perfect.

[rosinstraya]

Jay, I think you're handling this really well!

It seems to me that when a person has come out with these vile, brainless comments as pretty much their opening greeting....well, it isn't likely to improve. There are would-be, tough, macho guys out there who are a bit insecure in themselves and have difficulty expressing themselves, and then there are also vicious, narrow-minded bigots who think they can threaten people on a whim. He's the latter, and whilst he needs to learn some basic human life skills, he shouldn't be doing so in your household!

All the best for your studies in sunny Preston! 

[Lonicera]

Jay, I can't hope to contribute anything more than others already have but I hope you don't mind that I noticed your location. I appreciate you'll have far better alternative options and I sincerely hope it never comes to it but if you can't get to somewhere safe after feeling insecure then I'm relatively nearby. I understand I'm a total stranger so it isn't offering much of anything but if you ever need someone to meet you in the surrounding area or somewhere to get away to rapidly then please feel free to let me know.

As for the transphobe, it doesn't diminish the vileness but I sincerely hope it's a case of something like a transference of opinion from his parents that he evolves out of rapidly as life tests his world-view. Unfortunately, it sounds like that might be difficult if his pride warps his perception to the point he's only capable of admitting to 'misspeaking' after such a blatant and sustained attack. You are inherently entitled to better and I hope you get it from now on.

[jaybutterfly]

Jay, I can't hope to contribute anything more than others already have but I hope you don't mind that I noticed your location. I appreciate you'll have far better alternative options and I sincerely hope it never comes to it but if you can't get to somewhere safe after feeling insecure then I'm relatively nearby. I understand I'm a total stranger so it isn't offering much of anything but if you ever need someone to meet you in the surrounding area or somewhere to get away to rapidly then please feel free to let me know.

As for the transphobe, it doesn't diminish the vileness but I sincerely hope it's a case of something like a transference of opinion from his parents that he evolves out of rapidly as life tests his world-view. Unfortunately, it sounds like that might be difficult if his pride warps his perception to the point he's only capable of admitting to 'misspeaking' after such a blatant and sustained attack. You are inherently entitled to better and I hope you get it from now on.

I've had a message from him today funnily. He claims he's just not educated on trans issues, and now he knows Im trans he wants peace in the house, so I'm going to have a face to face talk with him on it.

He also mentioned he was off his face on drugs that day, so his wording was off... I'm still going to remain exceptionally cautious, because I don't think vile comments like that come from drugs alone (moreover, they bring out something in people's deeper conscious or back of the mind). If he wants civility and to understand, I can give him that, but I wont have my guard completely down.

I appreciate the offer though, fancy pm'ing sometime?

[Ixera]

That is a person I don't want to share a planet with!

Or sharing my wifi or xbox or food or bathrooms...air...that sort of thing 

[Beverly]

To all of you shouting condemnation i have this to say.

Maybe he is genuine about apologising. Maybe, being faced with a trans person for the first time in his life, he is learning something. Maybe he is learning that trans people are PEOPLE and that many people, most people, are tolerant and not bigotted.

Maybe he needs a second chance.

Jay has put things in place in case it all goes wrong so why not give it time and space and maybe it will all come right.

We keep saying we want understanding and compassion.  Sometimes we have to show it as well

[Ixera]

To all of you shouting condemnation i have this to say.

Maybe he is genuine about apologising. Maybe, being faced with a trans person for the first time in his life, he is learning something. Maybe he is learning that trans people are PEOPLE and that many people, most people, are tolerant and not bigotted.

Maybe he needs a second chance.

Jay has put things in place in case it all goes wrong so why not give it time and space and maybe it will all come right.

We keep saying we want understanding and compassion.  Sometimes we have to show it as well

I actually agree. It sounds like he's just trying to prove to the other guys the world (and especially to himself) that he's a macho straight guy.

That's a typical reaction from my opinion when guys are confronted with 'treats' to their 'macho straightness'

Sounds like he's just being a dick.

I would try to show him the errors of his ways and not ruin his life with legal stuff for indirect comments. If you continue to be harassed the some direct action never hurts.

Wow you guys are lucky in the UK. Homophobia is as common as rednecks and ignorant f-ers here in the states. Wish those laws existed when I was in high school