Small Victories

[PhoenixAsher]

I am fairly new to life as an ftm, comparatively, and I am still pre-everything (including coming out). However, I'm positive that this is what I want, and I can't wait to get moving, which is extremely difficult when no one around me *knows.*

With that being said, last night, I managed to separate myself from my mom at the store just long enough to purchase my first pairs of boxers and some sexy cologne. I know it's not much, but I know this is a long process and after waiting for so long, I'll gladly take pleasure in the small victories.

Just thought I'd share some good news with you guys (and ladies).

[Jamiep]

Good on you taking that first step in the process of aligning yourself physically to your brain gender. More baby steps give you confidence & lead to bigger steps.

All the best in your journey to being who you are.

Jamie

[PhoenixAsher]

Thank you, Jamie. I'm very happy with steps like these right now because even if others can't see it, I can feel it, and it feels a lot better.

[AnneB]

I wish you luck, bro. 

[LordKAT]

A change in clothing can help and it was a good move. Sometimes using deodorants or shampoos and such that are made for men can help, too.

Have you seen about visiting a therapist yet?

[PhoenixAsher]

Thank you, Paula.

Kat, those are what my sights are set on next, and I'm doing my best to slowly shift my wardrobe to a more androgynous, if not completely masculine, style.

I have yet to see a counselor who deals specifically with gender identity, but I am trying to get my mom to take me to the counselor who talked to my sister because of depression. Seeing as I have suffered from depression, and my mom is taking note that I "haven't been real happy lately", I think I'll get in.

[Bols]

Sometimes the little steps are all you can do, and can be the most important! Good on you!

[PhoenixAsher]

Thank you, Bols. Little steps are all that are possible for me right now, though I'm very anxious to see more differences.

[LordKAT]

You don't need a person who specializes in gender issues, just one that understands and is willing to work them through with you. If your luck holds out, this counselor may be just what you need. I'm hoping it all works out right.

If not, let us know, perhaps there is another option.

[PhoenixAsher]

Thank you so much for the help (both here and the other post). I'm hoping that this counselor can help me; that would be really lucky.

[LordKAT]

Glad to be of service.

[Rayne]

No such therapist or councelor where I live either. Far more importantly, have fun with your new underwear. ^~^ I'm new to this kind of thing and I'm contemplating what baby step to take first myself. All I have done is get my ears pierced 2 months ago. (If only I knew what was safe to wear, but that's another topic.)

I like your name btw I have a nephew named Phoenix. Anyway, great first step, I hear undies are a good way to go for first steps. Too bad my clothing is too baggy to risk it. Anyway, I hope your first step feels great! ^~^

[PhoenixAsher]

Thanks, Rayne. XD (I was also going to comment on your name as well, seeing as it's actually my boyfriend's brother's name, haha. Small, small world.)

As for you, you could start by changing some of your products to feminine ones (I.e., female deodorant, shampoo, conditioner, etc.). You could start shaving. As long as you have your clothes on, no one else will see this, but more important than that is that it can help make you *feel* like you pass. That's certainly how I felt when I stopped. XD as for baggy clothes, you could try tying your shirts up with a band (to make them more form fitting), and maybe invest in a push-up bra. also, if you really want the undies, you can maybe invest in a bright or girly belt that will keep your pants secure and piercings are always awesome. XD I'm contemplating snakebites the now.

[Rayne]

Thanks for the suggestions, and I may have to do some of those. Oddly enough I was looking up a goo feminine/unisex name that was close to my name or started with R. It said Rayne/Raine was feminine, and I liked the sound of it. Though I think I like the other spelling better. As for shaving, I already do. It's not something I look forward to but I just don't feel clean if I am hairy I feel dirty. Not sure why. I always wanted to but only got up the nerve a few months ago. Thanks for the help, but for now let's stop about me in your topic. ^^

[PhoenixAsher]

No problem; it is a nice unisex name. (Don't tell him I said this, but I actually think it works better as a girl name. I don't know why...something feminine and soft about the rain, imo.) and sure thing, if you want any advice or anything about you, you can just ask. I'll gladly help.