Not sure where to put this at all

[KilljoyMillie]

Ok so uhm two things one of which is a transgender thing the other is a transgender cosplay thing and I didn't want to annoy people with two separate threads;

The first thing is that tomorrow (well later today) at about 10 am I'm going to a paediatrician who I've been referred to from a gp and I have no idea what to say at all (I'm mtf and I live full time as female and I'll be going in with one of my tutu's as well..idk if that relavent ) and I'm scared that I'll say something wrong or do something wrong that doesn't fit exactly right with what their interpretation of being transgender is and be refused. I don't know what to say at all /:


Second way less important thing that I've got about a year to figure out.

Next year I'd like to cosplay as yami yugi or yusei fudo from yu-gi-oh who is a male character and I'd like to be able to cosplay him with it being obvious that I'm female and apart from keeping my bewbs in (idk if I'll have grown any by then..probs not idek) I have no idea what else to do. I want to do a good cosplay like not wearing heels *which I don't anyway* or anything.
I don't want to look like I'm a guy who's pretending to be a girl who's dressed up as a boy. So I want it to be obvious that I'm female but cosplaying , well , as a male. If that makes sense?

Again I know this might be in the wrong thread but I didn't want to be a bother by creating two.

Sorry if this all sounds stupid feel free to ignore the bottom paragraph about the cosplay thing


I'd really like some help as soon as possible with what to say to the doc though cos it's in 7 hours and I'm setting off in 6 (after sleeping )

I apologise if this doesn't make much sense and if I've made any spelling or grammar mistakes. I'm really tired and kind of stressed

Thank you,
Any help would be appreciated

Millie --<@

[KilljoyMillie]

Oh and the appointment is hopefully to refer me to a GIC
I should have said that Ҳ̸_Ҳ̸

Millie --<@

[AnneB]

First, hello Millie!! 

ok, first part.. you're going to see a Peds doc... for..?  Is he supposed to see you for HRT, a checkup (you didn't say your age, tho if its Peds, guessing.. ok.. nm..)  continuing..

What are you concerned about?  That the doc would refuse to see you for being trans?  Unless you're in a small (spelled "close-minded") town or somewhere where there is little to no transgendered people, I would think it wouldn't matter what you appear in.  As to what to say, just wait for (if any) the questions and answer as honestly as you can.  If the doc is skeptical, remind him/her that there are thousands of trans men and women on the planet, made that way for a variety of medical reasons (DES Sons, for example) and should be treated no differently than any other group.  Really, just be yourself, be honest, speak from your heart, really, it should not matter, the doc (again, unless you're in a small town) may have seen a trans kid or two, or knows of other practices with them. 

As for ...  Cosplay (dramatic fanfare music playing in the distance).. I have just begun to get into this, with watching SyFy channel's Heroes Of Cosplay show (was on last night). I LOVE Lauren, Holly, Inka and Ya-Ya!!  (swoon).  If you are on HRT, you may very well change where you are -not- read as male anymore, so the looking like a guy playing a girl probably wont happen with hormones, and the younger you are, the better (and faster) the results.  everyone is different tho, but still, you likely will have good luck there!

Can you, maybe, promise, when you do a character, you'll post it for us?  please??   

I wish you luck, just be yourself, speak from your heart.

Hugs!  Paula

[KilljoyMillie]

I'm going to try and get referred to a clinic I asked a gp before I was an age where I didn't need a paediatrician but now I'm at the awkward age where I shouldn't need one. I think at my age I shouldn't have to see a pead but I'm under 18 so uhm yeah anyway... And thank you for the advice
My concern was them not believing that I'm transgender and refusing to forward me on to. A gender identity clinic.
Being honest if I don't get reffered and I don't get hormones or anything well .. That would be really bad and yeah I'd probs anywayy

Cosplay wise I'll be playing a male character from yu-gi-oh probs yami yugi or yusei. I live full time as female anyway and I seem to pass ok-ish I've been referred to as female by people who didn't know my gender so that's good. I even got called a young lady at a car boot sale woo. Sorry going off topic and I'm gonna have to check that show out you mentioned.

This sounds strange but I want to make sure I look like a girl who is cosplaying as a male

Millie --<@

[AnneB]

oh, ok, got it.. there should be no problems getting a referral for a clinic.. really you should be able to search for one anyway, in or out of network (if you've got coverage).  If you get guff from the doc, say you are trying to get help for it, it should not cost the doc anything to give a referral.

As for (cue dramatic music again) Cossss---- Plaaaaaaaaay.. got it.. no worries.  The show is terrific to watch, each week its about costumes they have to whip up.  You'd like it.. one of the girls (Jessica) did Skeksis, from The Dark Crystal.. was awesome!  http://www.syfy.com/heroesofcosplay

ok, good luck, I hope you get the referral!

Paula

[KilljoyMillie]

Thank you for the quick replies, means I can get to sleep easier and less worried. Thank youuuu and I shall check it , sounds pretty amazecubes

Millie --<@

[KilljoyMillie]

I've been and it went perfectly well-ish.

The only negatives were the doctor had to google where there were clinics and two students wanted to sit in on the appointment *i refused to let them do so*

Apart from that

It went perfectly well. I've gotten all the labels on my nhs letters change to Millie Rose and I was called by my chosen name by the nurses, and doctor.

The sort of questions he asked were background stuff easy to answer eg sexually active, bullying etc

He said it was a "strange condition" but wasn't transphobic at all and apologise immediately for calling it so.

He said after looking at what I've said to my gp that it would be best to go somewhere where I can get support etc at which point because I thought he was talking about just getting therapy I interjected saying about gender clinics and he said that's what he was talking about. He says he's talking to some one he knows about if there any local clinics and asked if I had a preference to which one I go, which I do.

He asked if there were any online communities I didn't tell them which ones but I said yes.

It went very well but he says it'll take a while to enquire.
It went really well actually I just don't like the fact that he said he'd talk to his friend about it. Yes he did say friend. I'd prefer I straight on referral to leeds gic

Anyway it went well enough,

Millie --<@

[FTMDiaries]

Great! It sounds like the paediatrician did all the right things.

In all honesty, transgender is relatively rare so it's likely that the paediatrician has never knowingly come across another trans* patient before. But he's doing what a good doctor would do when they don't know the answer to a question: he's looking it up and asking other people who might have more experience in that area. Don't worry too much about what he said about asking his friend: he probably meant another doctor or health professional who might know more about this.

And good for you for being upfront about wanting to be referred to Leeds. You've given him a good avenue to explore, and he's likely to contact Leeds to ask how he should refer you to them. It'll probably speed things along if you ring his office and give his receptionist the number to call: it's 020 8938 2030. That's Tavistock & Portman's enquiries number for referrals for under-18s for all 3 of their clinics (including Leeds). They'll tell him what he needs to do.

Well done!

[KilljoyMillie]

In all honesty, transgender is relatively rare so it's likely that the paediatrician has never knowingly come across another trans* patient before.

Especially being a peadiatrion I'm guessing (yes I know young children can be non cis)

All the hospital staff called me by my chosen name and pronouns which was good although something that annoyed me a little bit was when he asked about bullying because of my gender but he called it "homophobia" which I should have pointed out to him that being trans doesn't make me gay *not homophobic myself as I've been with boys and girls so ya know pot calling kettle*

But thank you you've been very helpful ^.^

Millie --<@

[FTMDiaries]

You're welcome.

Straight cis people can sometimes struggle with the terminology because they don't tend to move in the same circles we do, but in all honesty, he may not have been 100% wrong about the nature of the bullying. You see, boys in particular will bully other kids who they perceive as being male but who exhibit feminine traits, because they think of these traits as being 'gay'. It doesn't matter whether you actually are gay or not; if they picked on you because they thought you were gay, that is a form of homophobic bullying. That's also a matter of law: under the Equality Act 2010 it's called 'Indirect Discrimination'.

So in that respect, some of those bullies might have been showing homophobic behaviour, particularly if they thought you were gay but didn't realise you're actually trans*. Does that kinda make sense?

[KilljoyMillie]

To be fair I've not told about any bullying because I can't be bothered talking about that shiz in any sessions but my ex best friend is way transphobic and tried to get my gf and I to kill ourselves so that probably counts
as something


To be fair I did wear a tutu a  few times *i now wear them all the time as a female I frickin love them* , I've had lots of hello kitty things and I sometimes dressed as a rainbow so yeah maybe I came across as a bit gay probs didn't help that I've had boyfriends too


Millie --<@

[FTMDiaries]

To be fair I've not told about any bullying because I can't be bothered talking about that shiz in any sessions but my ex best friend is way transphobic and tried to get my gf and I to kill ourselves so that probably counts
as something

Yes it does - and you made an excellent decision in making them your ex bestie.

To be fair I did wear a tutu a  few times *i now wear them all the time as a female I frickin love them* , I've had lots of hello kitty things and I sometimes dressed as a rainbow so yeah maybe I came across as a bit gay probs didn't help that I've had boyfriends too

You go, girl! It's all good. 

But yeah, a lot of the boys who knew you when you were growing up would be more likely to presume that those things are gay rather than trans*. Again, this is because transgender is quite rare... and sadly, 'gay' is pretty much the biggest slur in the schoolyard.

[KilljoyMillie]

I love gay rainbows and people ;-; gay gay gay it's so..rainbow-y...gay gayyyyyyy

Millie --<@