As a small step, you could find something to act as a sort of token or reminder that although it's a crappy situation now, you are working towards building your future.
Could be anything, a necklace, bracelet, painted toenails or some object you can keep in your pocket that has meaning to you, but looks like junk to anyone who might see it. Last suggestion seems more appropriate to your situation.
The important thing is what you assign to it, not what it is. That way, when you're feeling really down, you at least have something to look at/hold/remind you that there is hope. To remind you of the steps you have taken so far, even you haven't been able to do much yet.
It can be easy to fixate on the negatives, especially early on, but I found that such a small reminder of the commitment (not sure if this is the right word given that not everyone finds out that this is the right way to deal with their gender dysphoria) made to being myself helped a lot to stop myself drowning in depression/destructive thought cycles.
As an example, I painted a thumb nail a colour I love. When out and about, like at uni, I could look at it and feel a little better, more hopeful. It was easy to explain to inquisitive people, I would just say a friend bugged me into trying it on one nail for fun. They just chuckled and forgot about it.
Naomi
