Body dysphoria . HELP!!!

[Umiko]

well i just noticed changes in my body definition. broad shoulders are forming, my face is morphing, my voice got a little deeper though i can still control it, my curves are vanishing, muscle mass is increasing and my strength perimeter is increasing ( could barely lift 20 pounds without struggling, now i can up to 50 pounds no problem) i know i said i love myself but this is to much. now i have to add body dysphoria to my list and since i have to look at yself everyday, this is going to kill me. !

[Ms Grace]

You'll be fine, honest. You're in the process of starting counselling so use that opportunity to discuss feelings towards your body and appearance with them. Presumably you will be fortunate to begin hormone treatment, or at least T blockers soon. This should nip masculinisation in the bud.

As for coping techniques I find body dysphoria has only been a major problem if I focus on it. There are some things you will never be able to physically change and regrettably, despite whatever personal grief that may cause, you'll feel better if you acknowledge it, grieve it, move on. Some things can be changed but not without some considerable pain, time and money - the end results of that change won't always be perfect either. As long as you realise that fixing these things may or may not make you feel better about yourself you're at least starting off on the right foot. Focus on the good parts of yourself not the ones that cause you dysphoria. The more you do the latter the more anxious and distressed you will feel, why would you want to do that to yourself?

Be easy on yourself.

[Umiko]

You'll be fine, honest. You're in the process of starting counselling so use that opportunity to discuss feelings towards your body and appearance with them. Presumably you will be fortunate to begin hormone treatment, or at least T blockers soon. This should nip masculinisation in the bud.

As for coping techniques I find body dysphoria has only been a major problem if I focus on it. There are some things you will never be able to physically change and regrettably, despite whatever personal grief that may cause, you'll feel better if you acknowledge it, grieve it, move on. Some things can be changed but not without some considerable pain, time and money - the end results of that change won't always be perfect either. As long as you realise that fixing these things may or may not make you feel better about yourself you're at least starting off on the right foot. Focus on the good parts of yourself not the ones that cause you dysphoria. The more you do the latter the more anxious and distressed you will feel, why would you want to do that to yourself?

Be easy on yourself.

o.o been in counseling for almost 2 months now lol. its just my gender therapist isnt covered by my insurance so i cant go see him as often as i need to right now and my side therapist isnt a gender therapist, just a therapist at the regional hospital and i'm not quite sure if he can even issue letters even though he is competent enough to discern dysphoria from mental illness. god i hope i can stop and possible reverse masculanization since it just started to happen in the past week. i mean, i learn to love myself enough and start the process of self acceptance but i'm on borrowed time. to tell you the truth, i'm surprised i lived this long. every waking second could be my last so i'm not trying to rush things but my time is almost up in a sense. i've already made a promise and i have to fulfil that promise before i kick the bucket

[stephaniec]

o.o been in counseling for almost 2 months now lol. its just my gender therapist isnt covered by my insurance so i cant go see him as often as i need to right now and my side therapist isnt a gender therapist, just a therapist at the regional hospital and i'm not quite sure if he can even issue letters even though he is competent enough to discern dysphoria from mental illness. god i hope i can stop and possible reverse masculanization since it just started to happen in the past week. i mean, i learn to love myself enough and start the process of self acceptance but i'm on borrowed time. to tell you the truth, i'm surprised i lived this long. every waking second could be my last so i'm not trying to rush things but my time is almost up in a sense. i've already made a promise and i have to fulfil that promise before i kick the bucket

I'm sorry if I sound uncaring , but your talking like your 85 years old with only a few months to live. I'm 62 and just started HRT 7months ago and I'm feeling mentally better than I've felt all my life. My physical body is changing quite well under the influence of estrogen as you can tell from my avatar I think I look more female then male . I think you need some patience .

[Umiko]

sry, i know i need to learn patience but its just, i have a sue case against the state which frankly the lawyers are literally getting there hands on every record of mines to use against me so not only am i being forced back into my closet but this case could drag on for years since they are that stubborn to just admit their wrong but nothing i can do about that, i'm trying to ramp up the volume in my school work becuz frankly i should of had my bachelor's by now, my extended family is to delved into religion so i'm trying to get there attention and say lets hang out since you guys wanted to know if i was alive or not, i have my SSI court date and they are going to try and be stubborn and deny me again which would force me to yet again reapply, be denied and repeated cycle, trying to find work and apparently the interviewers see right through my guise and chose someone else over me becuz of my uncomfortability and unsureness. its just a lot to throw a young person who just literally hit adulthood right out of the gate. so i know i may be impatient and i know i need to really stop and relax but i rather not be forced back into my flannel but i am working on my patience thus why i have my secondary therapist so i can just unload and not have to think about this for another week.

[stephaniec]

well, good luck. You have so much life ahead of you to work through these problems Any type of job will do right now just to get some cash to start getting you life organized.

[Umiko]

well, good luck. You have so much life ahead of you to work through these problems Any type of job will do right now just to get some cash to start getting you life organized.

thus why i am hoping the SSI case doesnt have me going in circles. at least i can build myself up, finish school and get into a police academy, but i really do have a habit of counting my chickens before they hatch. 

[beren_ts]

Hmm... Then you must have had a very late puberty. If i were you i would do anything to get on t blockers.
I thought that in the u.s you can start with t-blockers right away. Estrogen is important too but after masculinization has happened it's almost useless. Aren't there any gender clinics where you live?

[Umiko]

Hmm... Then you must have had a very late puberty. If i were you i would do anything to get on t blockers.
I thought that in the u.s you can start with t-blockers right away. Estrogen is important too but after masculinization has happened it's almost useless. Aren't there any gender clinics where you live?

nope. the nearest one is about an hour by drive (I dont drive) the only way i can start is if i can get my therapist to give me my letter but depending on how tonight goes, i may just have sit and wait and yes, i entered a very late puberty which is another reason i decided now is the time

[beren_ts]

nope. the nearest one is about an hour by drive (I dont drive) the only way i can start is if i can get my therapist to give me my letter but depending on how tonight goes, i may just have sit and wait and yes, i entered a very late puberty which is another reason i decided now is the time

Then i hope that everything goes well tonight and you can start hrt soon