I look at a number of blogs and discussion web sites and occasionally add my USD 0.02 . I've always used non-gendered handles instead of my real name. Well, I posted a comment yesterday to a post on Mother's Day on a feminist-y site that I like, and one of the comments that responded kindly to my comment used a feminine pronoun for me. It kind of "zinged" me when I saw it.
It was weird, because up to now, I've never had anyone assume I was female (if they'd seen me in RL, there's no way they'd have done so.)
But it was also kind of nice, especially since I didn't make any effort to come across as female. (In fact, I have mentioned that I'm male in some comments in the past.) Anyway, I'm still trying to figure out why it felt nice. Right now, my guesses go in the direction of:
- I've associated "being male" with being like the entitled and often arrogant jerks that so many men are and make great efforts to be. So it's nice to feel like I've managed to not come across that way.
- I feel accepted by a group that I feel more or less comfortable with as "one of them."
It was a little like the thrill I get when someone (especially a woman) compliments me on the dress or skirt I'm wearing.
I recognize that it probably didn't mean all that to the others in the comment thread, so it's really about what's rattling around inside my head.
But it was still nice. I imagine it might be nice to have it happen more often, at least if it doesn't involve me getting catching the @#$%^ that women get just for being women. I wonder if it would still feel that way if I transitioned, and it happened all the time.
