New and in need of help

[Li]

Well heya and i'm new here...i'm usually called Li due to some friends...so you can call me that sense i put it as my name or call me Stephen sense that's my real name.

So i came here cause my girlfriend told me about this site and she is a MtF and i am supporting her all the way (she always wants me to call her a she and i don't mind either way). we have been dating a couple of months and she has always made me happy. i love her and to show my support i have also joined here to hopefully get answers to questions i may have so i don't end up messing up. right now i have two questions.

One is that i want to know if there's any thing i as a her partner should do? i am already supportive 110% and she keeps telling me that its awesome but i always want to make sure i'm on the right track to keep her in my life.

And another thing is..this one is mostly based on opinion but i have a ass of a family who already at this time think i'm ->-bleeped-<- but i'm afraid of telling them about her...i mean my sibs would accept her but the older generation most likely wont....so i want to know if it would be best to tell them? if it is best then i will and if they do not like it then i wont listen to them. any help would be apreciated

[Jessica Merriman]

A big warm welcome Li! I think you are making a very wise and supportive move by wanting to learn more on top of your acceptance of her. Good job! As for when to tell you need to talk to her to see if she is trying to go stealth or doesn't matter if people know her status. Anyway, here is a BIG HUG  to welcome you, thank you for your support and make you feel right at home!

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[LordKAT]

Personally, there is no need to tell anyone except doctors and sometimes for legal reasons. Let her be herself around them and leave it that way.

[Crackpot]

Welcome to the board!

I agree with the others here. If they've never met her pre transition there's no reason it ever has to be put in their heads. Just let them know her as she is. That should be enough.

As far as what your should do, you're already doing it. Support her and be there for her. She's going to need a shoulder to cry on and someone to share victories with. That's really the most important thing that I've noticed during my wife's transition. Emotional support and having her back especially when she feels like no one else does.

[Li]

Thank you guys and i will take the info. being here to get help makes things so much better.

[Rayne]

I already told you as far as I am aware you are doing all that I need. ^~^ I'm happy to be with you. As for your family, I understand. I'm working on that one myself. And by the way, to any reading, I've not come out to my family yet either. So I'm in the same boat. All of them would see me as dating a guy. (I am, but they wouldn't understand all the subtleties.) Either way, I love you. You don't need to do any more for me!

But thanks for all the effort, and even though it seems like you are doing enough as it is, the fact that you want to do more is touching. Thank you. ^~^

[Ms Grace]

It's primarily up to your girlfriend if she is OK with them knowing. But if she is and you think the ride would be too rough you should fill her in on that.

[Li]

Ok well me and my girl (Rayne) have talked about it. and we have agreed it would be best to tell them. They tend to not respect my privacy and are nosy so they are getting suspicious as it is so id rather tell them then have them find out on their own and blab to the rest of the family. Wish me luck.

[Rayne]

Be sure to update after you do. Even if it goes badly, at the very least you can get suggestions of where to go. And if it goes well, everyone could stand to read a story of an a comming out type thing going well. ^~^ I love you no matter what your family thinks of me. So I'm not going to worry about it. I just hope they don't hurt your feelings. But I doubt it from what you've told me.

[Li]

thank you and i havent gotten the chance too yet. they keep having friends over and they don't need to know

[Li]

ok i told them. they took it rather well and even one of my sister's thinks she is Bada** for being a MtF lol. but there is someone who thinks of it as a bad thing and keeps calling her an it which keeps pissing me off. my sisters have slipped a couple times and would sometimes call her a him and stuff but they are working on it lol. (i'm posting this to hopefully make things easier for those who may be coming out with their gender identity's to give them some positive hope.)

[Felix]

That's awesome that you are supportive and also that your family is more accepting than you expected. Just being kind and patient is going to make a world of difference for her.

It will take time for people to know the right language about her and her transition, but one of the best things you can do is help reinforce respect for her identity and her chosen pronouns. Other complications will be all over the place but that one can be a persistent problem and has a lot to do with dignity.

[AnneB]

You guys making me cry, being so supportive wanting to do this for her comfort!

um.. do you have a brother

[Li]

yes but he is taken and has a family lol and thank you guys i did it mostly to hopefully let others see a good story about telling others so it will ease their problems down