Baby steps...

[AmandaJones]

So, in my working out where on the mtf spectrum I am, I've just taken the first really big step...

A week ago, I was a crossdresser with some cute skirts and stuff, but no chance of ever passing (I.e. a full beard).

On Monday, I got my first bra, and some padding to put in it (two pairs of shoulder pads). Reasonably convincing chest, all considered...

But now... For the first time in (*mumble*) years or so, my face is clean shaven! It feel surreal to do it, and it still feels weird. The face in the mirror isn't me any more!

I'm about to go out to a friend's house, and the drive there and back, I'll be Mandy. The time there, I'll still be in a cute skirt, but as the D&D group includes my best friend's brother... It was enough to convince him to get used to my being a guy in a skirt, not brave enough to try being Mandy around him yet.

[Spiritwlker]

Have fun exploring and 'finding' Mandy The first steps are always the hardest, but also the most exciting!

[AmandaJones]

So... I'm out, with all my best looking feminine. Oh Lord it feels amazing. My lady companion tells me I look passable, and the voice is passable.

I feel fantastic, and surprisingly less nervous than the times I've been out as my male self in a skirt. Then, I was a weirdo in girl clothes, but now... I'm a somewhat homely young woman.

[AmandaJones]

I'm currently tossing up over whether I should post the picture that was taken of my as Mandy on Friday... I think its a reasonably nice pic, as a starting thing, but I'm not pretty, and also kind of terrified of anyone I know seeing it (other than a core trio of friends and my wife, I'm basically in Narnia)

[Jessica Merriman]

I'm currently tossing up over whether I should post the picture that was taken of my as Mandy on Friday

Well YES! Don't keep us in suspense girl!

[AmandaJones]

I got all ready and excited to post a pic, and then faceplanted into the 15 post rule. Ok, a little more lurking and trying to make a relevant contribution to conversations before I can share that!

So, since the evening described above, I've had some great moments for my Mandy side. I brought another friend into the circle of those who know the full story, and she's been really great. There's nothing like a whispered "you look great, gorgeous girl" to lift the spirits (even if I was out in boy mode at the time).

There's been a few down moments as well, especially as concerns my wife... She's having trouble with the new face, and isn't really that comfortable with Mandy (so I keep her hidden as best as I can around her). I think she's also convinced herself that I'll be doing a full transition and leaving her, which... Isn't what I want, or what I see happening.

[Rayne]

Have fun. Do what you want to do and try to relax, and don't let any nerves get to you. At least, I'd say that...IF... I had any right to speak. I've never had the chance to even wear the kind of clothing I'd prefer, let alone go out in it. But anyway. Have fun! ^~^

[Li]

well have fun. and Rayne is right you should do what you want to do and relax. and i applaud you for how far you are getting. Rayne here had to keep asking me if she should wear earrings she got because they were a bit girly and every time i told her its up to her and when she did the first thing i told her is they were cute and they were. I know how much she trusts me so if it was hard for her to even wear things after i said their would be nothing wrong then that means it must be hard to do so in public or at a friends. so that is a good reason for me to applaud you.

[AmandaJones]

Rayne, I don't see why you'd not have a right to speak.  Going past the basic "everyone has a right to be heard", even if you've not gone through a particular issue yourself, an outside perspective can be just as useful at the right time.

(edited to correct for autocorrect)

[AmandaJones]

OK, this is kind of terrifying...

But, here we go!

I present for your commentary and enjoyment, Mandy on her very first time feeling herself.



What do you all think?

[Reth]

Bravo, that is a great first step *applause!*

I remember the first time I tried to dress all out - it was a really eye opening experience and I remember just laying in bed for hours adjusting to the bra and clothes. Now that I think about it I've not done that in like 2 years... hm.

Anyway, you look awesome!

[LordKAT]

A natural red head? The earrings look good and I catch a glimpse of what you may turn out like. You seem to have some fem features already.

[AmandaJones]

A natural red head?

Nope, naturally chocolate-haired (ranges from milk chocolate to dark chocolate depending on lighting and season). The back-lighting is throwing the colour off a bit.

The earrings look good (...)

Thanks! They're one of my first *really* fem purchases (though I've worn them in boy-mode too). And extra-geeky, to boot.

(..) and I catch a glimpse of what you may turn out like. You seem to have some fem features already.

Thank you so much! That's encouraging!
I'm thinking some light makeup will do wonders (my social circle is almost entirely female, and none of them wear make up regularly, but they're all cisfem and quite pretty, so I'll be playing catchup)

[AmandaJones]

I'm thinking I may need to wear my hair down when I'm being Mandy...

I have approximately waist length hair (though curly-wavy, so it looks shorter than it is), but I almost always have it up in a bun (with a cute hair stick) to stop it getting in the way and getting tangled. If I wear it down as Mandy, that should also help to remind me to be more effeminate... and boost the look.

[LordKAT]

That isn't a bad idea. I love curly hair. I know that is personal preference, but I can't be the only one.

[AmandaJones]

So, getting ready for another night out with my friends, and I just had to get a picture of how I was looking. This is without chest padding, and I really need to get some makeup,  but... This was the most feminine I've ever felt.  cute slip under the dress,  and a new pair of shoes (my first real pair that's only for Mandy! 4 inch heels and so cute)

if I ever set a profile pic, this is in the lead so far...