The "it" Question

[Rayne]

I've been told by my boyfriend Li that his family, who knows knows of my gender issues, has had a tendency to call me "it." Many here would be angry or depressed. I can't help but giggle myself. I just can't muster any anger over it. My boyfriend, however seems a bit hurt and mad about it. It's like we switched places. Shouldn't I feel hurt and mad, and shouldn't he be the one brushing it off? None the less I'm glad he loves me enough to be offended on my behalf. Anyway As I'm in a great happy bubbly and giggly mood, I thought I'd like to ask...

What's the funniest, strangest, or goofiest thing anyone has ever called you in relation to your gender? Heck in relation to anything really. ^~^ I know it can be hurtful. But I guess I feel laughter or, in my case, giggling, helps sometimes. Turning something insulting into something funny can help resolve any pain. I'm glad this didn't bother me, at least for now. At any rate... Share the strangest or silliest things you have been called.

[immortal gypsy]

It wasn't what they would call me but said they would do. If I went into a full partial complex seizure friends joked they would put the cocktail shakers in my hands and have me mix the drinks.

[alabamagirl]

As much as I hate being called masculine pronouns, being referred to as "it" might actually be an improvement. =P

I don't really have any stories to share.

[Michaela Whimsy]

Funny now, but when I was a teenager I got called girl a lot.  Being called girl at the time really hurt.  Looking at old pics I would have passed real easy then.  To feel better I would get home from school and dress up in the few girl clothes I had and change back before my parents got home. Some days I would "stay tuff" all day when I had a bad day and wait until I got home get into girl mode and cry.  I wish I would have known what was going on then.  Michaela has always made me feel better.

[Ms Grace]

Think I would pretty offended if someone called me "it", it's very dehumanising.

[Junebug]

Think I would pretty offended if someone called me "it", it's very dehumanising.

I agree.  I've been called a "he-she" before. 

[LordKAT]

I have been called 'it' by family. I considered the source.

[TheQuestion]

I haven't been called anything, but I know I'd be upset if someone called me it. It's good you were able to brush that off - I respect that - but part of me feels like you should be offended.  The fear of people seeing me as an "it" is probably why I haven't started hrt or anything else.

[Megan Joanne]

Can't think of anything funny. But things like 'It', 'He-She', 'Freak', '->-bleeped-<-got', nothing good at all, all of which in the past have been used towards me. As Ms Grace said, very dehumanizing. Sure you may be laughing or smiling about it on the outside, even if simply giggling to yourself, but deep down I'm pretty sure the opposite is more true to how you feel, it'd be, and has been for me when I had to deal with those issues.

[Rachel]

I have been called the names Megan has by family, friends and total strangers. All I can say is they are devastating to me and I internalized them. Now, they hurt, but on the inside I just think F.Y. and move on. Sad thing is for many years I thought those names of myself which made it hurt even worse when someone would label me. Unless it is your name they are disrespecting you and marginalizing you, not funny.

[defective snowflake]

I've been referred to as an it, a whatever, thing and a few other terms, but usually its not directly to me, but about me. I've gotten to where I just figure, screw 'em, they've got some issues if it bothers them that badly.   


Now I do often refer to myself as a thing, but I've got a weird way of coping with stuff, including some of the names I come up with for here.

[Jess42]

Think I would pretty offended if someone called me "it", it's very dehumanising.

I definately second you on that one Ms Grace. He-she, ->-bleeped-<-, ->-bleeped-<- and so on still, even degrading, doesn't take away you from being a human being but being called "it" to me is more offensive than anything els. It knocks you down to no more than a beer can because a beer can is an "it" too.

But hey, if it doesn't bother you, more power to you. I can kind of see why it doesn't bother you too much because your "protector" is sticking up for you and in the end, that is what really matters. He seems to think highly enough of you to let his family degrade you.

[Rayne]

Well... As a child being bullied, I caim to a realization that if you could take the thing that hurts, and somehow make it funny, it stole their ammunition to attack you with. For example, being named "Ronald" as a child I got a lot of "Ronald Mc Donalds" and that bugged me a lot for a while. But at some point I realized that if the best thing they could throw at me was a fast food reference, then why am I insulted? Clearly they are either way too obsessed with fast food, or they have no better things to use against me. I think the first thing that they attacked me for was being a midget. (Growth hormone deficiency  would had made me a pituitary dwarf, yay daily shots.) Anyway, I guess I learned as maybe a 7-9 year old, that if I made their insult funny or ridiculous, and managed to laugh, they would stop saying things that hurt me, as it wasn't fun.

It's not an easy way to do things...oh and by the way... In my honest opinion...Never tell a child to just ignore bullying. It doesn't work. The bullies will attack harder because they know what you are doing. I was told that... and no matter how hard I ignored... They just attacked harder to compensate. Whatever adult who said that has forgotten what it is to be a bullied child, or to be a bully. Anyway, back on topic. I guess I thought that if I made a hurtful topic entertaining it could help others cope, and help myself as well. But I guess it failed as all anyone wants to think about is how hurtful it is. My effort failed I guess.

[Adam (birkin)]

I've been called a he-she, an it, erm...a hermaphrodite...a drag king...lol. I honestly think the one I hate the most is "a transgender" or "a trans." A trans? Wtf?

[Rayne]

Also I have a question. I've seen other transgenders be called "->-bleeped-<-" and seen them be offended. I'm not sure why. can anyone explain? The way it was used almost seemed like an affectionate way to shorten transgender. I mean... There are infinite ways to think of something that make it depressing or hurtfull. Why don't we find ways to make them less hurtful? Do not misunderstand, I am not trying to belittle or underestimate the pain any are feeling, nor do I mean to be hurtful in any way. I just think that perhaps we should make the hurtful things less so. Lessending the potency of something that hurts must be a good thing right? Honestly I think i'd giggle if called a he-she.  But I think birkin's drag king would bug me, I'd have to take some time to find a way to stop it from bugging me. I can't think of anything right now to be honest.

Anyway...Dwelling on the depressing things is...depressing. (Gee who'd have thought that?) So let's find ways to make them less so.

[Jess42]

Also I have a question. I've seen other transgenders be called "->-bleeped-<-" and seen them be offended. I'm not sure why. can anyone explain? The way it was used almost seemed like an affectionate way to shorten transgender. I mean... There are infinite ways to think of something that make it depressing or hurtfull. Why don't we find ways to make them less hurtful? Do not misunderstand, I am not trying to belittle or underestimate the pain any are feeling, nor do I mean to be hurtful in any way. I just think that perhaps we should make the hurtful things less so. Lessending the potency of something that hurts must be a good thing right? Honestly I think i'd giggle if called a he-she.  But I think birkin's drag king would bug me, I'd have to take some time to find a way to stop it from bugging me. I can't think of anything right now to be honest.

Anyway...Dwelling on the depressing things is...depressing. (Gee who'd have thought that?) So let's find ways to make them less so.

I really can't answer too much but "->-bleeped-<-" is short for transexual and ->-bleeped-<- or transgend, in which I am so I personally don't find it offensive. "->-bleeped-<-", at least there is "She" in the title and also "emale" and I personally don't find that offensive because I am a She in a male body. That kind of sux but still not offended. "It" though, in my opinion takes away all human aspects of a person and belittles us down to nothhng more than an inanimate object that can't think, love another or has no Soul and so on. I think most people are ignorant to the fact that most of the transgender community find ->-bleeped-<- and ->-bleeped-<- offensive but that may be all they can call us because a lot of people don't know us on a personal level or know any better. But "it", like Ms Grace said earlier dehumanises us and makes us less than another human being that can love, be hurt emotionally and so on. To me being called It is the most offensive thing that I can be called and that one word really hurts. I am definately not an it. I breath, bleed, experience emotional pain, cry laugh and get angry just like any other human. Because to the person calling me that I am no more than a rock and I and we are so much more than that.

[HoneyStrums]

I got called "hovis"
At first I was like, wtf???
Then they turned around and said, that's what you are isn't it? Again huh?
Then they point out that hovis is a brand of white bread with all the goodness off brown.
And is reffered to as, the best of both.
Had to let it slip, as a reaalisation that, this person thinks that both my male femal qualities are choice ones to them.

[ChelseaAnn]

When my in-laws and I finally sat down to "talk" (read as argue) about everything, my sister-in-law told me to "man up" to what I'd done (sort of offensive, considering.)
My father-in-law called me ->-bleeped-<-.
I had comebacks for both of them instantly, but I decided not to say them aloud.

[TheQuestion]

Well... As a child being bullied, I caim to a realization that if you could take the thing that hurts, and somehow make it funny, it stole their ammunition to attack you with. For example, being named "Ronald" as a child I got a lot of "Ronald Mc Donalds" and that bugged me a lot for a while. But at some point I realized that if the best thing they could throw at me was a fast food reference, then why am I insulted? Clearly they are either way too obsessed with fast food, or they have no better things to use against me. I think the first thing that they attacked me for was being a midget. (Growth hormone deficiency  would had made me a pituitary dwarf, yay daily shots.) Anyway, I guess I learned as maybe a 7-9 year old, that if I made their insult funny or ridiculous, and managed to laugh, they would stop saying things that hurt me, as it wasn't fun.

It's not an easy way to do things...oh and by the way... In my honest opinion...Never tell a child to just ignore bullying. It doesn't work. The bullies will attack harder because they know what you are doing. I was told that... and no matter how hard I ignored... They just attacked harder to compensate. Whatever adult who said that has forgotten what it is to be a bullied child, or to be a bully. Anyway, back on topic. I guess I thought that if I made a hurtful topic entertaining it could help others cope, and help myself as well. But I guess it failed as all anyone wants to think about is how hurtful it is. My effort failed I guess.

I was also bullied a lot, and much of it came from my "friends," but I feel your more deserving of better treatment than you think. You shouldn't have to just cope and make light of being degraded.

[FTMDiaries]

Very early on in my transition, my kids decided to combine she, he and it into a well-known expletive, and call me that.