Have you considered living stealth an option?

[eClare]

I think one of the advantages of stealth is not just how people treat you face-to-face, but what is said about you when you're not present. I remember many years ago attending a funeral for an in-law's husband. The hub-bub during the wake was whether the deceased's transsexual sister would attend, what she looked like, etc., etc. The conversation continued throughout the wake, primarily by females in their 20s and 30s whom I had expected to be more open and accepting of transsexualism. For many years, this experience has caused me to reconsider both my own transition and the whole issue of living stealth.