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Is there something you weren't able to do, but could AFTER you transitioned?

Started by Suziack, May 26, 2014, 04:10:38 PM

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Jacquelinecaren

During my induction into school as a five year old(ish) the class were asked for their name, some other info and what do you want to be.

Boys wanted to be train drivers, policemen, etc
Girls wanted to be nurses, hairdressers etc.

I wanted to be a mermaid - this did not get the response I expected.
Another "what to hide" lesson :-)
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AnnieMay

Not feel afraid all the time.
Look at myself in the mirror and not feel embarrassed.
Explore my body and feel comfortable.
Have someone else explore my body and feel wonderful.
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Suziack

If you torture the truth long enough, it'll confess to anything.
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Suziack

If you torture the truth long enough, it'll confess to anything.
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pretty pauline

Crying at weddings and movies, I cried at my own wedding when I married my husband 4 years ago, its so acceptable and normal for a girl to cry, its just a girl thing.
If your going thru hell, just keep going.
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LittleEmily24

Crying without feeling ashamed or like i'm not allowed. Feeling like life is worth living. Being proud of myself for something. and overall just being myself without filters, around EVERYONE instead of just around my girl-friends.

Another big one that i learned within the first month of hormones ~ Smiling. Before transition, in the entirety of 23 years, I could never genuinely smile; I never felt I had anything to smile about. You could only catch a smile if I was laughing at a joke or something funny, but my smiles were so forced that my eyes weren't the only give-away, it was everything about my smiles that gave away my misery.

It feels so good to hear not just my friends, but my older brother, tell me that he can tell i'm much happier now and that my face glows like it never has in my entire past.
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ZoeM

Absolutely - smiling and crying both are new to me as of the past year and a half (crying less so).

I'd say 'taking pride in my appearance' is a definite novelty.
Don't lose who you are along the path to who you want to be.








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Goldfish

Quote from: ZoeM on May 28, 2014, 02:09:51 PM
I'd say 'taking pride in my appearance' is a definite novelty.

Not just that, I'd say even caring about my appearance is a new thing. Before it was:
Is my hair in obvious need of washing?
Do I need to shave?
Are my clothes stained, smelly or falling apart?
Do I look like I'm homeless?
If no to all of the above, then good to go.

Now I actually care to the point I'm seriously looking at the clothes I have and dismissing some. But I've not got to the point of taking pride yet. Need to get new clothes and try combinations/styles out first. But the fact that it is possible to actually want to wear stuff that looks good, at a more emotional level, is something I didn't really realise happens. I just assumed everyone did it to fit in or something.
Naomi is still wondering if she is a Cylon
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LittleEmily24

Quote from: Goldfish on May 28, 2014, 02:20:30 PM
Not just that, I'd say even caring about my appearance is a new thing. Before it was:
Is my hair in obvious need of washing?
Do I need to shave?
Are my closes stained, smelly or falling apart?
Do I look like I'm homeless?
If no to all of the above, then good to go.

Now I actually care to the point I'm seriously looking at the clothes I have and dismissing some. But I've not got to the point of taking pride yet. Need to get new clothes and try combinations/styles out first. But the fact that it is possible to actually want to wear stuff that looks good, at a more emotional level, is something I didn't really realise happens. I just assumed everyone did it to fit in or something.

Oooh! this is a good one too!

Before, you'd probably would have had to pay me to give a rat's ass about my health or my appearance. My fashion sense was so bad that I couldn't even GIVE my male clothes away, none of my friends wanted it. And getting me to the gym or to groom myself, well lets just say you would have better luck teaching a pet turtle to play dead.

Now i actually work out and eat right, take care of my skin, body, health, appearance. It feels good to actually care about myself. I've also not gotten to the point of taking pride in my appearance, but all roads lead to "hopefully in the future". I actually take time out of my day to always be presentable, which is a huge leap compared to (not even kidding here) wearing the same outfit so often that my friends started seeing me as a cartoon character... I literally wore the same cargo shorts, the same "think green" tee shirt or Paramore Tee shirt, and the same pair of shoes for everything... I would wear that outfit maybe 4-5 times out of the week.... It was depressing.
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Goldfish

Quote from: LittleEmily24 on May 28, 2014, 02:33:21 PM
Oooh! this is a good one too!

Before, you'd probably would have had to pay me to give a rat's ass about my health or my appearance. My fashion sense was so bad that I couldn't even GIVE my male clothes away, none of my friends wanted it. And getting me to the gym or to groom myself, well lets just say you would have better luck teaching a pet turtle to play dead.

Now i actually work out and eat right, take care of my skin, body, health, appearance. It feels good to actually care about myself. I've also not gotten to the point of taking pride in my appearance, but all roads lead to "hopefully in the future". I actually take time out of my day to always be presentable, which is a huge leap compared to (not even kidding here) wearing the same outfit so often that my friends started seeing me as a cartoon character... I literally wore the same cargo shorts, the same "think green" tee shirt or Paramore Tee shirt, and the same pair of shoes for everything... I would wear that outfit maybe 4-5 times out of the week.... It was depressing.

Yeah, looked like I was wearing the same clothes most of the time too. Only had 2-3 jeans and 2 jumpers I would wear over the last 5 years. I had other stuff, but I wore the jumpers (and still do) because of the material and its awesome rain and heat resistance. Don't have to bother with a coat.
I guess I could slightly amend what I said. I didn't care enough to care what I was wearing, but I cared enough to choose stuff that I kind of liked on the rare occasion (maybe once a year, less than that recently) I went shopping. As a result, I actually kind of like quite a few of the clothes I have. I recently found a couple of more feminine shirts I brought but never wore out of embarrassment. Actually enjoy them now. And I keep fiddling with my hair  ::) keeping it tidyish
I always cared about my health though. Watched what I ate etc. Paying more attention to it now, lose some of that 'male' fat. Hopefully, given a few more months and hrt adjustments, when I decide to try gaining some it'll go in the right places. Mostly.
Naomi is still wondering if she is a Cylon
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theadanielle

I've been told by multiple people that I'm a lot more open and free in my social interactions since I started transitioning....people who used to ignore me now seem interested in talking. 

Oddly, I've found that I play the piano better - less inhibited, fewer mistakes, better at sight-reading.  I don't really know what the connection is, but I don't think it's a coincidence.

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Jill F

Quote from: theadanielle on May 28, 2014, 06:00:08 PM
I've been told by multiple people that I'm a lot more open and free in my social interactions since I started transitioning....people who used to ignore me now seem interested in talking. 

Oddly, I've found that I play the piano better - less inhibited, fewer mistakes, better at sight-reading.  I don't really know what the connection is, but I don't think it's a coincidence.

Interesting.  My guitar playing is far less inhibited as well and my compositions and improvisations flow much more freely while I can also think ahead a few steps farther than I could before.  The stuff I have written more recently lacks the darkness and gloom/doom character of my pre HRT works. 
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FalseHybridPrincess

Quote from: Jill F on May 28, 2014, 06:12:30 PM
  The stuff I have written more recently lacks the darkness and gloom/doom character of my pre HRT works.

damn,,,so true..
actually the only thing I miss about my pre hrt self is the dark songs I was able to write...
http://falsehybridprincess.tumblr.com/
Follow me and I ll do your dishes.

Also lets be friends on fb :D
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LittleEmily24

As a fellow musician, I have to say that I've been told by people who see me frequently singing at karaoke that my singing voice has improved not just in tone, but in expression and passion. I also move and actually "perform" as opposed to just standing there as I use to do when I was male, I sing with purpose now I suppose. Back then, there was only one song that could make me perform passionately, and it was a dark depressing song that in my interpretation related to my hidden GD and denial lol now I do it with every song I sing (according to what I've been told)

Haven't written anything in a while though, I get better creative motivation from sadness lol happiness is hard to work with for me xD but I guess it takes getting use to after working primarily with ONLY sadness as a motivator
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Androgynous_Machine

Spend an up to an hour making my mind up about a pair of shoes while shopping.
Giving a damn about my appearance.
Crying when I'm emotional.
Flipping the "bitch switch" on.
Having a make up table.
Wear long skirts.
Wear the oh-so-adorable panties.
Bra shopping!
Shopping in general.
Trying different things with eye makeup.
Not getting mercilessly teased, hazed, assaulted, or harassed for being an effeminate male.
Wearing floral scents.
Appreciating scented candles.
Interior decorating.
A newfound confidence
A whole new perspective on life, like seriously, after living full time grass was just a little bit greener and the rain smelt jsut a little bit better.
Being able to look in the mirror and being pleased.
Having mirrors in the house larger than my hand.


Just to name a few.

-AM
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HoneyStrums

Quote from: Androgynous_Machine on May 28, 2014, 08:34:58 PM
Having mirrors in the house larger than my hand.

-AM

This This This. Feeling good when I see myself in them.

Yeah maybe im a bit vain. But having a cupple of mirrors to catch myself in now. Is much better than the hardly ever use bathroom mirror that made me so depressed before.
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Suziack

Quote from: Goldfish on May 28, 2014, 02:20:30 PM
...Are my closes stained, smelly or falling apart?...If no to all of the above, then good to go...

By "closes," are you referring to underwear?
If you torture the truth long enough, it'll confess to anything.
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kelly_aus

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Jill F

Quote from: kelly_aus on May 28, 2014, 09:29:35 PM
I'm surprised to not see the simple answer..

Be me.

I agree wholeheartedly, but I didn't know who "me" really was.  I lived a lie for so long that I actually believed it.
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