Did I shoot myself in the foot by telling my therapist this?

[Ltl89]

With the OP permission, how many do/did enjoy therapy?

I have to say there appears a minority who don't.

And yes a lot who are fearful when they start.

But in my experience many trans love talking to their therapist - to a point of clogging up the system

I like my therapist and enjoy talking to her, but I'm not sure if it's doing all that much good anymore.  I feel like week after week it's the same thing and I've got nothing new to really share or talk about.  My therapist assures me I'm making progress and discussing these things are all good, but really what's the point if I'm not getting better?  I feel like I'm a waste of her time, quite honestly, and feel bad for even putting her through my drama to begin with.

[Jen72]

I am waiting myself for first appointment yet the shot my foot thing may apply to me. 

She lives in city couple hours drive away and does her appointments in evening.  Waiting a few weeks I had thought to ask later if I should or if I even can even get a hormone level test but was honest in saying I am just plain confused and understood that question may be horse before the cart thing.  I would like to think I haven't got the cannon out but I have admitted honestly just confused and a therapist is not a GP so maybe I haven't shot myself.  As for the response to same question I did put plainly confused so guess a plus side and an honest one at that.  I guess just asking you ladies if the medical requisition is a bit over the top?

May we all find the right decision for that fork in the road of life whatever that may entail:)

[KatelynRain]

You absolutely did the right thing by telling your therapist the truth.  That's the only way that she can help you.  If you are not sure, then her job is to help you find yourself. 

I think I told my Therapist dozens of times that I wasn't sure if I was transgender over the past few years, and finally I'm sure, and started HRT.  It never hurt me that I told her the truth that I wasn't sure of myself.  You don't want to start HRT unless you are sure that it is what you want to do. 

[Jen72]

Thank you and yes in this case the truth really does not hurt.  And of course why I am seeing her to begin with to figure out the truth if you will.  Time and myself will tell:)

[JoanneB]

I am waiting myself for first appointment yet the shot my foot thing may apply to me. 

She lives in city couple hours drive away and does her appointments in evening.  Waiting a few weeks I had thought to ask later if I should or if I even can even get a hormone level test but was honest in saying I am just plain confused and understood that question may be horse before the cart thing.  I would like to think I haven't got the cannon out but I have admitted honestly just confused and a therapist is not a GP so maybe I haven't shot myself.  As for the response to same question I did put plainly confused so guess a plus side and an honest one at that.  I guess just asking you ladies if the medical requisition is a bit over the top?

May we all find the right decision for that fork in the road of life whatever that may entail:)

Getting a T level test is no biggie for any GP to ask for. Think all the ED and raise your T adds on TV! I'll play The Amazing Karnack and say "The answer is... normal". Ultimately and endo or GP will/should establish a baseline level for T & E before HRT so as to gauge what the changes are for the doses you are given. Otherwise not much of a need to know beforehand.

If you are just want to know and don't want to ask a MD there are a couple of possible ways to know. You can get oral swab tests on-line for E and I assume also T. Also, depending upon what state you live in or are near to, there is at least one on-line site that I have used to get my T and E blood tests done through. Essentially they have a doc that writes up the script and it is set up through a major lab network. THe cost is reasonable. Not as reasonable as an insurance co-pay but not bad

[JohannaJohn]

No you didn't shoot yourself in the foot. If you have any hesitation it's best to confront that now with your therapist. Once you start hormones they're really is no turning back it does change you. So talk these doubts out and make sure this is what you want then decide of this is the right coarse for you.

Yes Heather you are SO right.  I am 6 weeks into daily estradiol valerate and micronized progesterone.  This has affected my body in ways I largely expected and hoped for (developing breasts is off to a fine start) and in ways I didn't expect...

Being able to FEEL, especially genetic cis girls, much better what they feell...calmness and euphoria...body odor disappeared in 3 weeks...acne one face disappeared in 3 weeks...protruding nipples that are super obvious through my shirt already wow this is moving faster than I expected...softer, higher quality hair on my head, already...a strong urge to NOT get another haircut, just let my hair grow longer, naturally, at this time which I NEVER dreamed or thought of would happen before hormones...

Johanna.

[Jessica Merriman]

I absolutely love Therapy! Both of mine have helped me tremendously and I owe them a lot for my successes. They were patient when I was pushing to go further than I was ready for and have been rock solid for me. I teared up a little when they told me I could go to every other week instead of weekly! 

[Natalie]

I told my psychologist exactly why I was there: "recommendation letters." I was not there for any other reason. On my recommendation letter she stated I was her most successful patient and then retired.

[Jen72]

Thank you never thought of online as I live in Canada so health care thing a little different then USA. 

I guess I am just excited yet anxious and frightened of what lies ahead.  Which is probably normal well whatever normal is:) All that being said thank you so much for the information even though just starting to figure things out if you will it all helps knowledge is power after all. 

Generally speaking health care in Canada is cheaper but more regulated.  Go figure then again no health care plan is perfect.  Fortunately I also live in Alberta or think fortunately all quirks between states/province and government in general.

The more I ask the more I understand you wonderful people and grateful to learn from such a caring group.  It also helps me open up to like minded people been an introvert since I was hmm I don't know 1 year old no joke.

[JohannaJohn]

Yes, Jen, our friends here are great friends, full of comarderie, support, and great info.

Johanna.

[StevieAK]

Just tell the truth, never tell a therapist what you think they want to hear or with a slant on the truth for a desired outcome. Why pay to play mind games?

On a side note don't be afraid to change therapists if you feel the first does not understand and or you don't communicate well.

[LizMarie]

The only way you can "shoot yourself in the foot" with any qualified therapist is by not telling the truth.

I made my first appointment because a close friend caught me planning my own suicide and she hounded me to get help, so I did. I walked in and told the therapist about myself and that I thought I might be trans. She began asking questions about my past, about things that I'd buried. By the end of the first hour, I'd been crying and opening up about so many things that had tormented me over the years.

Later, six months later, I finally asked for my HRT referral. She told me that she was ready to give me that referral a month after I had begun therapy but waited for me to ask. I asked her when she was sure I was trans and she said by the end of that first session she was sure.

I only have my personal experience to go on but I was very fortunate to have gotten a therapist who I later discovered was one of the top trans therapists in my city. She works with a lot of trans clients and also teaches courses at one of the nearby universities, including courses about transgender treatment.

My advice is be truthful. Tell your therapist why you are there. Don't hide things because letting those out may trigger other memories. One of those cascading memories for me was one of my two best friends kissing me, me not fighting it, and me desperately wishing I could have been his girlfriend. That triggered because of something else we were discussing at the same time.

Give your therapist as much information as they ask for and be prepared to ask questions as well. Show interest in yourself and they'll show interest in you.

[Jen72]

Now that I have my first appointment done and a second one in the works I do have a better understanding of what the therapist is really there for. By the way I have never ever seen a therapist/councillor whatever before in my life. 

Yet to the point the whole reason for a therapist is basically this for them to hear you out and guide you and council you to what path you shall travel whatever that may entail.  If you mislead your therapist then you are misleading yourself which really means it HURTS YOU in some form or other whether making the wrong decision or even going forward perhaps to fast for you. 

All that being said if the therapist is not a good fit then time to find another.  I think I have found a good one whom only has 3 years experience with transgender but a ton of social work.  But she has learned under one of the gatekeepers so she has some know how aswell she admitted that the first one I spoke to actually has different specialty that could help.  That to me shows sign of a good whatever that admits they don't know it all.

I hope all you out there find the right guide for you and most important be true to your therapist which also means be truthful to yourself:)

[TessaMarie]

With the OP permission, how many do/did enjoy therapy?

I have to say there appears a minority who don't.

And yes a lot who are fearful when they start.

But in my experience many trans love talking to their therapist - to a point of clogging up the system

There were days where I dreaded therapy.  Being taken away by "the men in white coats" has been one of my worst recurring nightmares since early childhood.  We would be driven past the Central Mental Hospital at least once or twice a week (it was along the route to a frequent destination of my parents').  There was almost always some comment, be it "There's the loony bin." or "That's where anyone who is not quite right in the head ends up."  My parents considered mental illness of any kind in the family to be extremely shameful.  This was passed on to me.

It took me over 15 years of recovery in NA, which also included many dozens of therapy sessions, to finally admit to myself that I might need to talk to someone about my need to be more female. 

And yet, even through the trepidation, I never backed away from a scheduled appointment due to fear.  I knew there was something deep inside that I had not admitted to, I just could not figure out what it might be.  Once I admitted to myself that I was trans, I was finally able to start dealing with some of my other issues that I had not been able to come to terms with before.

I have had some good therapists, who were able to guide me through my fears.  Even when I was fearful upon arrival, I felt a safety in their offices that allowed me to overcome my fears enough to talk. 

The simple answer to Cindy's question is:  Yes.  I felt safe with each therapist I visited.  I enjoyed that feeling of safety & acceptance.

(I need to learn to get to the point a whole lot faster.)

Tessa