Friend ordered me a binder

[Riverend]

First off, I love how supportive she is for me. From the start, she always has been supportive of me. Mind you, we met online, and haven't met in person yet, but we know that each other are very real. So the other day, she asked me, "Hey Kai, send me a link of any binder that you want." I thought to myself, well, I already have one, but I'd hate to give up such an opportunity/use her to get another. I said no at first, but she insisted. So I went to Underworks, and linked her a binder, gave her my size and address. Now, it's on the way, but my issue is... My parents don't know about any of this, they do know that I already have one... Heck, my stepdad ordered it for me. If I'm right, she ordered it either this morning or last night. I'm afraid of my parents finding it in the mail or it arriving over the weekend. During the week, I have no issues because my parents don't plan to take a day off, and I get home before they do. My issue is... Will the binder come in a box or envelope, and will it be on the doorstep or in the huge mailbox? (I live in a trailer park, our mailboxes are in this huge box with individual locked compartments.)

[HoneyStrums]

How often do you get mail/packages? When I get things in the mail, most I get is a there is something for you here as my dad passes me it. (sometimes) he askes what it so I tell him I don't know then go to my room and open it. that's when you come out saying omg omg she didn't need to do that. then just say well a friend got me a new binder. (you did say they knew you had one? so binders arnt anything new to them)

Or is your concern that if they get to it first you wont get it?

[Riverend]

How often do you get mail/packages? When I get things in the mail, most I get is a there is something for you here as my dad passes me it. (sometimes) he askes what it so I tell him I don't know then go to my room and open it. that's when you come out saying omg omg she didn't need to do that. then just say well a friend got me a new binder. (you did say they knew you had one? so binders arnt anything new to them)

Or is your concern that if they get to it first you wont get it?

I rarely get mail, let alone packages, although I do order something on occasion. Another issue is, I have two Facebook accounts, and one uses a fake last name to avoid being caught by parents. (I use it to contact my friends that I meet online and would like to stay in contact while afk). I might end up using that excuse to avoid getting in trouble. I could say, oh my friend from school must've mixed up my last name with someone else's. And yea, my stepdad asked me what I wanted for my good first semester grades, and to kinda reward me, he got me two rings (one I lost a few days ago actually...) and the binder. I would like to get to it before they see it, possibly keep it a secret altogether till they see in it the wash.

[HoneyStrums]

so you don't want your frends knowing your birth last name?

[Riverend]

so you don't want your frends knowing your birth last name?

I don't mind them knowing. I forgot to tell my friend what it was. I use a different one because my parents somewhat stalk my Facebook, so having no mutuals and a different one, they won't find me as easily.

[Felix]

I'm not sure what the problem here is. Do you just want to go easy on visible transition stuff so you don't upset your family?

My binders always came in envelopes. I get most of my packages at the post office, but when I've gotten things at home it's a crapshoot whether it will be wedged into the mailbox or left on the porch. I have a penchant for ebay t-shirts (every month I look at all the ones that fit me up to $3 before shipping) and binders in the mail look and feel a lot like t-shirts. They are a little less bulky, but if you wanted to let your family or neighbors think it was a shirt you could probably do that. You'd have a problem if they wanted to see it, of course.

If you are concerned that your parents will think you are wasting money, make sure to emphasize that this was a gift from a friend, and you weren't given the option of money or a more "useful" item.

[Riverend]

I'm not sure what the problem here is. Do you just want to go easy on visible transition stuff so you don't upset your family?

My binders always came in envelopes. I get most of my packages at the post office, but when I've gotten things at home it's a crapshoot whether it will be wedged into the mailbox or left on the porch. I have a penchant for ebay t-shirts (every month I look at all the ones that fit me up to $3 before shipping) and binders in the mail look and feel a lot like t-shirts. They are a little less bulky, but if you wanted to let your family or neighbors think it was a shirt you could probably do that. You'd have a problem if they wanted to see it, of course.

If you are concerned that your parents will think you are wasting money, make sure to emphasize that this was a gift from a friend, and you weren't given the option of money or a more "useful" item.

Sorry I'm not being totally clear. I don't mind my family knowing that I bind, but the issue is, my friend insisted that she get me a second binder, and I'm afraid of my parents finding out about who she is, how I met her, and yea. Our mailbox is kinda small, it's like a 4.5"x4.5" tube in a huge box with other mailboxes, so I have a feeling that the mail guy's gonna try and cram it in there. My parents would most definitely find it there. If they do, I'm just gonna say it was apparently a gift that I had no idea about from a friend at some LGBTQA club that I go to.

[Felix]

Oh right that makes sense. I don't know how I would approach that. However you paint the picture, other people having your home address is going to have to fit into it. Getting mail from people isn't necessarily a major indicator of the seriousness of a relationship. You might could just be upfront about it. Maybe minimize your feelings about the girl and emphasize that it was someone online doing something nice.

If your parents are iffy about you interacting with people online they probably just worry about your safety. Allaying those fears would give you more freedom.

[Riverend]

Oh right that makes sense. I don't know how I would approach that. However you paint the picture, other people having your home address is going to have to fit into it. Getting mail from people isn't necessarily a major indicator of the seriousness of a relationship. You might could just be upfront about it. Maybe minimize your feelings about the girl and emphasize that it was someone online doing something nice.

If your parents are iffy about you interacting with people online they probably just worry about your safety. Allaying those fears would give you more freedom.

My dad was a little paranoid at first, and wouldn't let me visit online chatrooms and such, but recently I told him about my long distance relationship (I told him half the truth, saying that he was a close friend), and said I met his mom. He was totally fine with it, and said that he'd try his best to see if I could meet him!
Mom on the other hand, I have no idea what her reaction would be. She was a victim to a serious hack, and had to close an email account and a few other things, so she's been a little watchful of what she does. She respects my privacy, so she doesn't check or ask me, "Hey Boo have you been on any online chats lately?" or anything of the sort. So I may have to lie that it was a friend from a club who got my last name wrong, or suck it up and say that I met my friend through an online support chat. I think that if I emphasize that the chat is a support chat, she might let it slide, because it's a good thing to have support, right? Thank you for the advice!

[Riverend]

So the binder came in a few days ago, I came home yesterday. My stepdad had the binder, and questioned me minimally. I simply lied saying, "Oh, what's that?" "Hm, she must've gotten my last name wrong." "Pheonix? I think that's where she used to live, and forgot to change her card's address." It worked perfect, and yea, I now have two binders!

[Felix]

I'm glad it went well.